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  #1  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 12:52 PM
Anonymous100168
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I am kind of surprised this site has a " THANKS "
For people who have a low self steam or other issues would cause a "trigger " when they see other people get them and they
don't .

Example ..
Someone post a question .. A bunch of people answer it and everyone got
a " THANKS " but me and it cause me a Trigger of how I am not good enough to be noticed , or to even get a " Thanks " , for taking the time to post on there thread .

It makes me feel unwanted , angry , left out and so on ..

Anyone else feel like this ?

It kind of makes me feel like not waiting to post because I didn't get a thanks for answering there post . I just don't see the point in having that ?

I understand the HUG but not the THANKS ?
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  #2  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 12:59 PM
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Webgoji Webgoji is offline
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Hmm ... never thought about it actually. I really don't notice if I get a HUG or THANKS for a post, merely if there was a reply.

I can certainly see how not having a "THANKS" can make someone feel left out though. I'm not sure what the correct answer is, but I can understand your feelings about it.
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  #3  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 03:31 PM
guilloche guilloche is offline
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Aww... I'm sorry that you're sometimes feeling overlooked I've felt this way too...

I don't know if this helps, but I try to thank everyone who replies when I have a question (especially a hard question over on the therapy board, less so maybe on the social boards!). But sometimes when I go to write a response... I spend a long time writing, and other people post while I have the "reply" window open. In that case, their response gets posted *above* mine, since it was submitted before me - but I don't always see it (!) because I think I've read all the previous responses.

So I might miss those - completely inadvertently, but it can happen.

I try not to miss people, because I don't want anyone to feel overlooked... but I know there are times I've gone back to a thread and realized that somehow, someone snuck in a post that I honestly didn't see

(((Nature1968)))
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  #4  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 04:18 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Old post of mine: I have a neurotic, dysfunctional relationship with the "Thanks" button.
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  #5  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 04:29 PM
Anonymous100168
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I'm Glad to see I am not the only one .. it really stresses me out , I wish I was not so sensitive but I am .
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  #6  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 06:39 PM
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  #7  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 08:12 PM
Anonymous37781
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature1968 View Post
I am kind of surprised this site has a " THANKS "
For people who have a low self steam or other issues would cause a "trigger " when they see other people get them and they
don't .

Example ..
Someone post a question .. A bunch of people answer it and everyone got
a " THANKS " but me and it cause me a Trigger of how I am not good enough to be noticed , or to even get a " Thanks " , for taking the time to post on there thread .

It makes me feel unwanted , angry , left out and so on ..

Anyone else feel like this ?

It kind of makes me feel like not waiting to post because I didn't get a thanks for answering there post . I just don't see the point in having that ?

I understand the HUG but not the THANKS ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature1968 View Post
I'm Glad to see I am not the only one .. it really stresses me out , I wish I was not so sensitive but I am .
I think we've all felt something like this. In a way I suppose we should (almost) always thank people any time they respond to our posts. We all have some criteria I suppose that we use for hitting the thanks or hugs buttons. As far as third party thanks, I think it just means that the member has posted something we are in agreement with or that was particularly thoughtful
Try not to take it to heart.
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  #8  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 08:26 PM
Anonymous100168
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My only problem is when everyone on that thread got a " Thanks Bottom"
I didn't get one it was like hello I just supported you and got passed up .

If others didn't get it then it would not bug me as much but when I saw everyone got one it just made me upset .
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  #9  
Old Dec 04, 2014, 06:50 AM
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Lexi232 Lexi232 is offline
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I've often thought about that...
Sometimes the "Thanks" option is all that's available on taptatalk. and you can't see if someone hugs you or not.
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  #10  
Old Dec 04, 2014, 03:09 PM
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-jimi- -jimi- is offline
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I don't give thanks and I wish I could stop people giving them to me. I understand it is a shortcut instead of writing a reply. But I care not to participate in this system. Giving and receiving thanks actually trigger the dopamine system and you can sort of getting hooked on it. And if you get no thanks and expect it, must feel awful.

If you look at the thanks, it's easy to see what groups exist and who likes and dislikes who. I sort of feel weird being given that information, but I'm a pattern thinker and maybe others don't see this pattern on an instant, like I do.

The site managers wish this system and it is used, so others like it. I accept that but no one is actually making me push buttons, so I shant.
  #11  
Old Dec 04, 2014, 10:04 PM
ifst5 ifst5 is offline
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Could a lot of these titles and buttons and tools need removing? Is that understanding of the importance of communication?

No matter how or where I want to be responsible.

But i'm struggling with moving closer to such answers in real life and I wonder how being here can help me personally?
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear
  #12  
Old Dec 04, 2014, 10:12 PM
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Steiner of Thule Steiner of Thule is offline
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I've always had this sort of feel in the back of my mind when my posts end up feeling ignored. Though that is how my life always seems to be.
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Question :  Thanks
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  #13  
Old Dec 04, 2014, 10:33 PM
Anonymous100168
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
I don't give thanks and I wish I could stop people giving them to me. I understand it is a shortcut instead of writing a reply. But I care not to participate in this system. Giving and receiving thanks actually trigger the dopamine system and you can sort of getting hooked on it. And if you get no thanks and expect it, must feel awful.

If you look at the thanks, it's easy to see what groups exist and who likes and dislikes who. I sort of feel weird being given that information, but I'm a pattern thinker and maybe others don't see this pattern on an instant, like I do.

The site managers wish this system and it is used, so others like it. I accept that but no one is actually making me push buttons, so I shant.

Yes I believe that is what is happening to me , with my OCD , mix with my low self steam all into one . Good point !
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  #14  
Old Dec 04, 2014, 10:36 PM
Anonymous100168
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ifst5 View Post
Could a lot of these titles and buttons and tools need removing? Is that understanding of the importance of communication?

No matter how or where I want to be responsible.

But i'm struggling with moving closer to such answers in real life and I wonder how being here can help me personally?
By talking on here should help dose it not ?
Not really understanding your question
  #15  
Old Dec 04, 2014, 10:38 PM
Anonymous100168
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule View Post
I've always had this sort of feel in the back of my mind when my posts end up feeling ignored. Though that is how my life always seems to be.
Yes I know some topics are a hit and some aren't
  #16  
Old Dec 05, 2014, 12:44 AM
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I only hate it when one states opinion, somebody attacks them and this attack has bunch of thanks under it. And it does happen quite often.
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  #17  
Old Dec 05, 2014, 07:46 AM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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We had this discussion here when it first came out http://forums.psychcentral.com/community-feedback-technical-support/268569-we-have-like-button.html

and here http://forums.psychcentral.com/commu...are-thing.html
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  #18  
Old Dec 05, 2014, 11:16 AM
Anonymous100168
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Quote:
Originally Posted by venusss View Post
I only hate it when one states opinion, somebody attacks them and this attack has bunch of thanks under it. And it does happen quite often.
That is another good point as well ..
It's like your feeling ganged up on

See that is my whole point why would this awesome website feel the need to add
" thanks bottom "

This website is not like any other website this site is for people who don't have any place to go to talk about there problems without getting judge , ripped a part , yelled at , and so on .. but rather get support , love ,
understanding .
  #19  
Old Dec 05, 2014, 11:23 AM
Anonymous100168
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I can't imagine how it must be for someone who deals with guilt , a people pleaser , and I am sure they must feel pressure that if they see people giving hugs or thanks they do it out of not feeling guilty because they don't want to hurt the other persons feelings .
  #20  
Old Dec 05, 2014, 02:00 PM
Anonymous445852
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I'm one in favour of the thanks and hugs button, but also get a little guilty feeling, or uncertain around it. Sometimes I say thanks, as meaning, I also get your thoughts, or hugs as meaning, you need a hug (but many ppl don't like hugs), but usually it is just for me, making sure that person knows they are being heard. Often thanks are because the person made me laugh.
I joined about 2 years ago, stopped because a dear friend passed away, then rejoined. My very first post didn't get many replies, but just seeing several people's hugs under my post made me realize I was at least being heard by someone real out there. I think it has a lot of value here.

I was also very down months ago and tried using another forum. There were no thanks or hugs or anything. I wasn't sure, unless someone replied, whether I was even being heard. I have come across a few people who obviously are using the thanks in a retaliatory way, I think it is up to us to leave it at that and not take it personally. That is why I like adding friends. Then you know the person better and feel more trust.
  #21  
Old Dec 05, 2014, 05:10 PM
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BeaFlower BeaFlower is offline
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Personally, I like the Thanks bottom. I usually use it when people answer my questions or send me support. But I understand what you say, Nature. Try not to take it personally...sometimes when I go back to a subscribed thread I see that I thought to have posted a Thanks or a Hug to everybody who answered, but I inadvertently missed a reply I could be that it happened also to yours sometimes.
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