[_Hope_]

i have a concern about chat. i not sure how to say it

my concern here is with the teens in chat some as young as 13, I don't mind chatting with them to a point. but when the conversation turns to inappropriate topics i have a problem. Maybe it is just my problem and if so let me know and i will just leave chat when that happens. Two topics in particualer concern me, underage drinking and inapropraite sexual discussions, such as teasing and inuendos.

For their own safety i think at the very least their age should be show when in chat so when teen members come in to chat the adult members will hopeful realize there should be some discretion in the topics discussed.

there is a teen room that i have noticed is hardly used while i am online . i don't go in there because i am not a teen and i don't want to violate there space .

i am not sure if anything can be or should be done but i would like some feed back on my concerns

Thanks
Linda

[mel4]

Hey Linda,

This issue has come up in the past.....The problem with posting ones age in while in chat is that teens and younger folk are often looked down upon in ways. Speaking from experience, there have been instances (not incredibly often) in which some members have been downright rude to the younger members here at PC. From my perspective as a teen, i guess we feel that we've had enough life experience to be able to deal with mature topics in chat and such, whether or not the community elders feel that way or not. I do honor you for posting so respectfully, and I do see where you are coming from, however, I'm not certain that i feel so great about teens being segregated, even just a little, from the rest of the community (whether in chat, or in any other means).

Respectfully,
Melissa

[pegasus]

Yes but when the youngsters start being silly it ruins it for everyone else.

[pegasus]

I'm happy to talk with anyone, any age but I go to chat to to talk not to watch people getting warned by the server.

[mel4]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pegasus said:

Yes but when the youngsters start being silly it ruins it for everyone else.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Can we please just not continue to stereotype various age groups? Whether we're talking about teens, older folk, or anything in between....Stereotypes oh so rarely reflect the vast majority of the sample group, and NO ONE deserves to feel as they've been placed under one.

Again respectfully,
Melissa

[_Hope_]

thanks for the feedback i do appreciate it . I guess there is no ideal for this area of concern. While in chat i have become friends with some teens and i have seen other adults who have also, I have seen the way some older members look out for teens and yes on the rare occasion i have seen others who do not tolerate teens well.

maybe i am being overprotective it wouldn't be the first time i was told that i am acting like a mom. i agree that i see no reason to segregate the community because we can learn from each other no matter what our ages.

Maybe it is just me feeling out of place when those certain topics come up

Linda

[pegasus]

I went into chat today to talk in the General chat room and it all got rather silly. Playing around and getting chucked off by the server.

It completely ruined it for me, that is what happened to me today when I went to chat.

I am NOT stereotyping, I am telling you how it was for me today.

I wanted to have a nice chat. A CONVERSATION! It's not much to ask is it?

This is a mental health site where we talk, not play around getting chucked off by the server right?

[Perna]

Mel does have a point that the site has "sensitive" sex, etc. areas and teens are allowed there in all conversations so I guess it would be up to whoever wanted to chat to keep things just as appropriate/in good taste as they need to be on the forums or else take it to PM or something.

Pegasus, I would report anyone playing "chuck off" with the server; the server has better things to use its resources on than that! The more people there are online/"action" there is, the harder it is for additional people to get online and move around so "playing" in that fashion I'm sure would be frowned on by mods/DocJohn.

i guess i think that... people go into chat for different reasons. i know that i surely do. some of the reasons are:

- to talk to my friends who are in there
- because i want support / advice on something
- because i want to fool around a little and i think that that will help cheer me up
- because i'm in a good place and i might be able to support / offer advice to someone else

sometimes i go into chat and what is happening there isn't to my taste. sometimes i'm in a serious mood and things are a little too light hearted for my tastes. sometimes i'm in a light hearted mood and the discussion is a little too serious for my tastes.

i guess i figure that, while it is sad, if the discussion is different from what i'm wanting at that time that i could go into another room and hope that people would join me... or i could leave and come back later.

[Raynaadi]

The next time someone is intentionally getting themselves booted, please let us know. And its a good idea to getting familiar with how to save the chat sessions. Instructions are located in General in the sticky "Techie Tips for Chat". Anyone can save the chat session and pm it to a moderator.

We are aware of the problems of "playing with the server". If we're notified, it won't be tolerated.

As far as young people being silly, we adults get silly as well. But there is a line that should not be crossed, especially if chat is in the main room. Chatters who want to have fun and silly need to move it to Social. If they won't move it to social, notify a mod. We all watch out for each other here, so if everyone knows that someone is always watching, hopefully they'll tone it down a bit.

Thanks,
Rayna

[(JD)]

Thanks!

[(JD)]

I'm wondering if underage drinking falls under illegal activities? Would make it against guidelines to brag about or plan etc?

Chat can be fun, and yes, we all do get silly at times. But we shouldn't let it get to the point that it ruins the chat for others, the majority, or for the new ppl coming into chat. Chat is also important for socialization, and for those living alone or feeling alone, it's probably more important to them than just another place to hang out, imo.

I don't have a problem with changing chat rooms, but I am concerned when a nonsensical conglomeration of postings rule in the main chat room, that's all.

[kimmydawn]

As long as the chat is within the guidelines (and keeping in mind that we have no proof of ages, etc.), general chatting is fine.

If you don't like the conversation that you're "walking into" in the main chat area, state what it is you would like to discuss and go to another room or create one? Chances are someone will follow or be along soon enough.

For instance, I went into chat the other day and, and today. There was existing chat going on. I jumped in because I was incoming. If I'd have chose not to because I wasn't "in the mood", I could've gone to another room.

The general chat areas can have, and will have, a hodgepodge of discussion and even silliness. That's OK. There's enough rooms to accomodate the different needs.

It wasn't my place to walk into an existing conversation and say, "I don't want y'all to talk about this because I don't like it." I could've said, "I'm in such and such a place and going to go to such and such if anyone can chat with me."

On the same note, if a few are in the general chat area talking seriously, those incoming who want to be "light" should move on to social.

It should flow with what is existing when we enter the chat area, I think. For instance, if I had been in chat having serious discussions and one or two came in that strictly wanted social chat and not contribute to the existing chat, they could go on to social, those for support meet in support, etc. It's all about using the rooms. If we go in the general room until others come in and it becomes a strictly social, supportive, etc. convo, it would be appropriate to move the conversation as others come in showing diverse needs?

I guess it's just about acceptance and accomodation.

All that said, those who know they're meeting for a "social time" should meet in social. The same should be for support, etc...if it's known ahead of time.

Chat can be great for all if we use what we have and need to make it that way.

KD

((((((mel))))))))))
I have always enjoyed talking to you.