[rep97]

Do you have C-PTSD and live with your tormentors? or people who the traumatic stuff happened with? I do, unfortunately. And find it extremely difficult to cope. I had 3 massive emotional flashbacks this evening and I wasn't having any when I was living by myself.

Also I find that when I am in therapy, I don't feel safe with the therapist now. It is like living with my parents/family makes me not feel safe in therapist's office even. It affects me that much.

So is this the experience of just me or others too? I am trying to get back into therapy but I am thinking whether I should move out first(very difficult with my circumstances because I am on disability assistance from gov't) and then start therapy or start therapy now when I am living with my family.

[A Red Panda]

I stay as farrrrrrr away from my family as I can - I find I have a better relationship with them knowing that I'm not WITH them.

I was living in another country from a while until my visa ran out. Ended up not being able to stay where I was planning to and had to move home with my parents. I spent about 6 months oversears having panic attacks at the prospect of living with my family again.

I started medication about a year and a half ago. I haven't been back to see them and don't know when I will, because I am absolutely terrified that they'll find my meds.

So yeah... living arrangements can either be super helpful or totally damaging. I'm sorry you're stuck with that right now

[SkyWhite]

This must be very painful for you. I get triggered just thinking about my family.

Therapy would work better if you're away from them, but if you're with them it can be a good support for you until you can get safer living arrangements.

The feelings you have towards your T could be transference. All the stuff you feel for your family is getting transferred on to the T, i.e. not feeling safe. Talk to your T about this. If you have a good T you can get back to feeling safe again.

[SoupDragon]

I have always had contact with my family, but lived many miles away from them for most of my life after leaving home. They then moved close to me and I saw them regularly. My father died 2 years ago and I had a very difficult relationship with him up until his death and would find it traumatic visiting him - I am much less in denial about my experiences as a child and am not sure how I would now be if I had to interact with him - I can't imagine wanting to be anywhere near him.

I see my mother regularly, but at times I have to put on such an act, when really I feel very angry with her, then feel guilty for feeling angry.

So in answer to your question, I think for me it was hard to start to really acknowledge the impact my father had on me while I was still seeing him regularly and I come to this conclusion due to my reaction to my mother who I do still see regularly - I feel deceitful thinking badly of her.