[Fuzzybear]

Possible trigger:

I've just remembered how much a T (IRL) seemed to like me to begin with, and yet, it was on quite a superficial level. I seemed quite a good talker (very "shy" and "anxious" but not completely "boring" or...? )

But at least I wasn't described as a "snail"...

(this is not about anyone on pc... One of my dearest friends ever has a snail as her pic..)

(and I don't think I was described as "not doing well" to other clients years after I last saw that T )

And I wish that story had ended there, that I had quit before the negative transference and countertransference set in

[kaliope]

i sat and wondered why there would be a trigger on this
but then it got me wondering about my own relationship with t...........
what does she think of me?
i know she likes me.......right? she reduced my fees so she could see me more...she tells me how much she enjoys working with me.....she has complimented me on doing well........but then again, when i have made comments about doing well, she has countered with statements about me not functioning well?????????????????

[knit roses]

My therapist practices detached compassion. Feels very safe to me. I believe she cares without scary tentacles attached to me or my kids.

[peaches100]

Fuzzybear,

It sounds like you and your t did have a good working relationship together. So it sounds like what caused it to deteriorate over time was issues of transference and countertransference? That saddens me because t's are supposed to be informed about transference and countertransference and how to deal with it. Do you think your t was not adequately trained in that area? Was she a new t? I think sometimes what happens too is that the t starts feeling closer to the client than they think is best, and then they pull back when they realize it. But by then, it hurts the client.

I've had some very bad experiences with T's. One accused me of ruining his practice. He said that, with me, he had tried and tried and tried to no avail. Maybe he was trying the wrong technique? I don't know. Maybe I'm therapy resistant or just too damaged? His closing remarks were "I give up!" Frankly, I don't think he should have admitted this to me as his emotions and words were hurtful. His therapy did not seem to help, rather, it seemed to sink me deeper into isolation and then his closing then did more damage. It should be noted that while I was seeing this T, I was employed at a job where I was being emotionally abused daily. His take was that I should switch careers (to what we did not discuss in detail and, honestly, he did not seem well versed in that area despite his recommendation) but, in reality, he should have pointed out that I was being abused and that advised how to deal with it rather than merely change my career.

His negative opinion of me was transferred to me and downloaded into my psyche. It was devastating considering the job I had and the continuing abuse from it that I was experiencing daily.

I empathize with you Fuzzy. At least you knew when to quit the T when you could see problems arising. Still, it's an experience that no one who already has issues and is seeking help should go through. I'm glad you are sharing about it and hope it helps.