Asked to start EMDR

I have just been asked by a new therapist in my first session (assessment session) if I would be willing to try EMDR. I have C-PTSD from prolonged physical and emotional abuse as a child. My father was away a lot and my mother was extremely abusive. I spent my life as a child in fear. As a result I find at in my 50s without a partner or a job as I have difficulty forming relationships and I have a lot of anger.
I tried therapy a long time ago and found that rehashing the traumas left me drained and unable to cope and live a normal life between sessions.
I am worried about starting EMDR as I can't imagine trying to go through all the traumas or even just the major ones (I'd be in therapy for years!).
Also I've dissociated from the emotions as I tend to dissociate from most emotions so wonder how useful EMDR will be.
I have to make a decision and find the therapist really pushy in the first session to start EMDR - I wonder how a therapist can select EMDR so quickly on the first meeting.

Any thoughts from people with C-PTSD would be helpful. Especially those with an abusive mother (as this seems to be the most damaging).

I don't have CPTSD. However, I have done EMDR and will be starting EMDR again in late November.

I think EMDR is a great method of trauma therapy. Where regular trauma therapy is like diving into the ocean of (a) memorie(s) and trying not to drown, EMDR is like sitting at the beach, watching which floats to the surface. No swimming required.
EMDR has helped me a little bit so far. But I'm counting on lots of little bits to add up to something significant.

What I also like about EMDR is that you don't have to tell the T anything you don't want to say or don't want him/her to know.

Breadfish said it so well!! EMDR is like sitting at the beach, watching which floats to the surface. No swimming required.

As a recently retired psychologist, I used EMDR therapy as my primary psychotherapy treatment and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my (now retired) role as a facilitator who trained other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Association and trained by the EMDR Institute, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR therapy successfully with panic disorders, PTSD, C-PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams, and many other problems. It's a very gentle method with no significant "down-side" so that in the hands of a professional EMDR therapist, there should be no freak-outs or worsening of day-to-day functioning.

One of the initial EMDR therapy phases (Phase 2) involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need.
In phase 2 you learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR therapy is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you weren’t in the past, during traumatic events, or whatever disturbance(s) on which you’re working. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or any method of bilateral stimulation that feels okay to you) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and say just a bit of what you’re noticing, anything different, any changes. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR therapy techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.

Grounding exercises are essential. You can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). The book is an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions.

I can't say enough good things about EMDR therapy. It's changed my life both as a person/consumer, and as a therapist. It has been so satisfying to have someone come in for help and then to witness them get through their issues and finish therapy relatively quickly (compared to regular talk therapy, it's like night and day). I am both humbled by and grateful for this wonderful method that heals suffering.

Like you, I'm in my 50's, and after I kind of had a melt down and told my T way more than I had planned, he immediately suggested EMDR. I was worried about reliving years of memories as well. Once I learned some grounding techniques things have been pretty good. I really need them to get through the day sometimes. I've found the flashbacks/memories come whether I want them or not, so I'm trying to learn what to do with them. EMDR seems to be helping that. I'm still early in the process, only 2 sessions so far, but I'm managing better between sessions.

Like Breadfish and Pattijane said above, you are in control and don't have to dig into details or share anything if you don't want to. It really is in your hands. I have been in other types of therapy and I'm finding EMDR more manageable than those in the past.