Finally getting answers? Maybe?

Just want to say I am so glad this board exists. I had heard of CPTSD but didn't really know what it was or how it differed from regular PTSD until several hours ago. Another thread in another section of the forum brought it up and I looked it up and now I'm finally feeling like I can put a word to how my childhood affected me. There was verbal abuse for my entire childhood and verbal bullying for several years of it in school. I feel like now if I am able to get any professional help any time soon that I'll have something to start with. It just makes me feel a bit of relief having at least some idea of what's going on in my head. I would read about PTSD but it didn't exactly match.

I know "I read it on the internet" does not a diagnosis make but I keep reading different articles about it and nodding my head so much, thinking "YES that's exactly how I feel!" to about 98% of it. I know someone here will understand this "Eureka!" moment, heh. If I'm in a position soon to seek treatment then maybe this information can help me narrow down my options a little and find someone who is knowledgable about this particular subject.

I was so confused myself about PTSD and then I came across information online that felt to me like the individual who wrote it was putting so much of how I struggled into words that it was just such a relief.

This is a good source of information too:

http:www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm

It meant a lot to me in understanding the difference between Hypervigilance and Paranoia and between Mental Illness and Psychiatric Injury.

Welcome to PC MyFriendAmy and the PTSD forum.

((Hugs))
OE

I had the very same feeling about PTSD before I found out about C-PTSD. I could see how it applied to me, but still it didn't feel accurate. Then everything just made so much more sense when I found out about this disorder, and why I had never heard of it before. I hope you have good luck on your journey, it can be hard to find someone who is knowledgeable about complex trauma.

Amy, I totally understand your EUREKA! moment. It was the same for me. I was just recommended the book The Body Keeps the Score and it talks about this too, and it really made sense to me. There were finally some explanations for what is happening to me!!

I totally get it and am glad we have found some answers if not yet some relief.

It's made even more difficult since you can't be diagnosed with c-ptsd. I do know the feeling. Several years ago a psychologist said I had ptsd, I thought she was too sensitive, or maybe that I had sensationalized my story. Now I've read about c-ptsd and have a small collection of professionals suggesting c/ptsd. What really starts to stand out are the emotional flashbacks, oh that and the lifelong empty feeling.

This is true. I still remember how I felt she I started reading about Complex PTSD, and then bought Pete Walkers book. I was like, "This is me! He gets me!" That is suck a great first step. I realized over time that much of how I acted was results of past mental scars.

I am sorry we have to be on this trip, but we are heading the right direction!


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