Confronting about triggering *Trigger warning*

I had a situation this week that really wore me down on many levels.
A neighbor was joking around and form her hand like a gun, index finger extended, and even made a sound, and acted like she shot me in the head, twice. For those that don't know my CPTSD was triggered after finding my dad after his suicide and he had shot himself in the head.
I didn't say anything at the moment because there were other people around. But what an odd response, plus this person is a counselor. Not sure if she remembered about my dad.
But anyway, I didn't know if I wanted to talk to her about this or not. Didn't want her to feel uncomfortable when I was around, and even though she understood what I was saying, I will not feel different around her. And I don't like that.
Anyone else been through something like this? Should I have just let it go and not mentioned it?

Yes one of my traumas was my ex coming over and when I told him to settle down he escalated even more and held his arms like he was holding a rifle and shooting into the air. Now when I'm online and people talk about guns I get triggered. I even get triggered by seeing people buying guns in sporting goods stores. I saw that today .

Also, I'm sorry for your loss.

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It just caught me off guard that she would use that gesture. Then that it bothered me so much later. The creepy things about triggers is that you never know, what and, when they will pop up. Reinforcing the need to isolate for safety, to keep from having embarrassing moments with friends, family, and neighbors.*sigh*

Can you tell us what your current treatment plan for your ptsd is?

If she is a counselor I would think she might understand if you explain. Some people don't though. I hate it when friends bash the word trigger in front of me. They don't know what I go through, and I don't think they would care if they did.

I take Wellbutrin and Lexapro, for anxiety, then counseling. I'm on a lot of medication for pain Fentanyl, Vicodin, Trazadone, Gabapentin, Naproxen, Tens unit, then I have sleep apnea. It's a hot mess.

She said she understood. I just hate we had to discuss it. That I had to expose that I get triggered.

That sounds really rough, I am glad you are here.

Thanks , have you noticed how so many with CPTSD have a lot of the same medical ailments like Fibromyalgia, sleep apnea, etc.? I've had two back surgeries, one knee surgery, both hands from carpal tunnel, hemorrhoid surgery (the worst of all of them). I played hard and paid for it later, but wouldn't change that.
I'm trying to wean off the Fentanyl but I've been on it so long the withdrawals are horrible. Using some old patches trying to get the levels down slowly. Just don't want to misjudge it and end up like Prince. Some older patches feel different like they are not working, some may put another one on or exchange them too soon. Using them as prescribed my benzo level is almost at overdose level. Makes no sense.

I also tried some online therapy places. Just didn't seem to help with CPTSD but it was explained that therapy with trauma usually takes longer at a slower pace. I tried Talk Space and Better Help. I liked BH format better but the T at Talk Space I connected better with.

I don't have any of those traumas. Mine is from childhood and marriage, as well as single parenthood and being in a relationship with a disordered person.

I am really sorry that you don't have access to therapy. That is really difficult.

It sucks because I have spent most of my life in social service, Air Force, Police Officer, Firefighter, EMT (Vol. Fire and Rescue) Vol Disaster Deployment team, working in the Emergency room and now that I need help I can't get it.

I am very sorry and that makes absolutely no sense at all.

It is what it is Maybe one day it will get better for Veterans, it's just a shame that so many will be lost until something is done. The veterans and their family will go through such horrible times and they shouldn't have to. We offer all these benefits for people here illegally and refugees but we can't help out own people who have fought for the freedoms we enjoy today. A veteran and Police Officer knows that everyday they may die, protecting the people, their freedoms and rights, for total strangers and yet they still do it. What thanks do they get?

I have the same risk as the adult child of a dysfunctional family and disordered parents as well as someone recovering from narcissistic abuse. My daughter is also a mood disordered substance abuser so I have stress all around. Don't give up.

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What same risks?

Suicide risk.

Oh okay, I didn't know because I was talking about suicide risks in the first part but the last part was about being killed in the line of duty.
They say people who have suicides in the family or people close to them are the most prone to do the same thing. Don't know about that but it does seem to run in some families. Dad's suicide was the first in our family as far as I know. I did witness his father's death at age 5-6, when he fell down our basement steps while walking in front of me. I think that was an accident though. Something I've never really gotten over though.

I meant the stress I'm under putting me at risk.

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I'm sorry you are under that type of stress. I hope if you ever have thoughts like that you will reach out for help. I wish Dad had reached out for help.

I've had those kinds of thoughts since I was 15, and I've been on a mood stabilizer for the last 10 years so I can control them. I am sorry for the loss of your father.

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If I'm honest about I would have to say I've had those thoughts off and on since about age 8. Did a little self harm but never went as far as seriously thinking about death. I have witnessed a lot of suicides and some people are very creative with how they carry out their death. Some could have gone either way, some ways were a certain death. I would hate to think I came to that point and failed at that also.

I've never self harmed, and I've known people who have done it, attempted it, etc. I just meant the ideation as you were talking about veterans being at risk.

I met with this person again today and it was okay. I was a little nervous but she was very nice and we didn't talk about it as I requested. So I guess it was the right thing to do to be honest and explain the situation to her. Too bad that doesn't work on everyone. The fact that she's a T I think helped to make this easier. She knew how to respond and make it easier for me.