Dealing with loved ones ashes-Trigger Warning

Trigger Warning Trigger Warning

My Dad was cremated. I have his ashes in my livingroom with me. He never said exactly what he wanted done with his ashes other than throwing out the golf course or the beach. So I have taken him to the beach before. Took him out on a boat to where the ocean meets the sound....but I couldn't do it. The time wasn't right. Has anyone else struggled with this? Do you think it would have been easier if he had died by natural causes?

I'm not familiar with your background, but just wanted you to know my brother, whom died of unnatural causes, his ashes were placed in the wall of remembrance on the day of his funeral. (he was cremated beforehand)...


My father, who passed away from natural causes, and wanted to be placed next to my brother, his ashes are still in our lounge 6 years later.


There's no right or wrong way to manage...

My Dad didn't really care what happened to the ashes, he pretty much left that up to me. I just wonder if others have such a hard time of letting them go. How would you feel about casting your Dad's ashes in the ocean? Once they are gone they are gone. But then I don't think Dad would want to be put in a wall.

I don't mind that he's home, except its not what he wanted. He wanted to be next to my brother.


But my mother can't let go, hr will probably be at home until she dies too.


If it were my choice? The ocean would be the way to go. How would I feel? I'm really not sure, but it would feel right.

I guess when the time is right I will make a decision. Until you have what's left of your father in a box, it's hard to know exactly what you might do. Even now, I can let him go.

It's ok if you are not ready to part with his ashes. You have a right to take your time in deciding what way you feel best about it.

I don't really think there's a right or wrong way to handle that. It's whatever feels right to you... my friend had her cousin's ashes for several weeks, with several "false starts" at distributing them.
I didn't have my aunt's ashes, but it took me 24 years to be able to let go of her car...

Wow, I just realized that I don't know what my brother did with my mom's ashes, or if he did anything with my dad's body. It's been a while now so it would be a moot point I suppose. Neither of us were close to them due to their abuse of us as children. Still it would've been nice to have done something respectable with them. My brother doesn't drive so he can't take Mom's ashes to the forest like she requested. I'm too far away to do anything. Oh well.