[Trace14]

It's interesting to see how many things in common we have. I'm definitely a giver , feeling someone else's happiness is more important than my own. I like to give gifts, but not receive gifts so much.
So are you a giver? Receiver? Or a balance of both?

[annabelle_01]

I'd say I'm both. I do like to give to see other people happy and know I'm thinking of them and care. I do appreciate any gift I recieve. At times it's nice but also uncomfortable too.
When it comes to giving to others, I think I do it out of guilt and also to keep the relationship going. I'd say other happiness comes before my own because I feel like I've exhausted everyone with my constant up and downs.

[MtnTime2896]

Honestly, I hate when I receive gifts. It's so awkward for me, like I can't fathom the love they're trying to show. I try but it's like I can't believe that there are no strings attached or they're just doing it out of expectation or to keep up appearances (birthdays, holidays). That and I don't like attention and focus on me, not in that way or almost anyway. I'm pretty awkward outside of my element (performing, lost in a project etc.).
However, I love giving presents and showing someone how much I care. It means the world to me. I also very much love making people laugh. If I can make people laugh, then it allows me to smile. If they smile, I can accept that I did something good. I gave a present to a close friend of mine the other day and I had never seen the guy so excited about something I thought was so small. I just smiled as he went nuts over it because it just felt good that I could do that for him.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

Honestly, I hate when I receive gifts. It's so awkward for me, like I can't fathom the love they're trying to show. I try but it's like I can't believe that there are no strings attached or they're just doing it out of expectation or to keep up appearances (birthdays, holidays). That and I don't like attention and focus on me, not in that way or almost anyway. I'm pretty awkward outside of my element (performing, lost in a project etc.).
However, I love giving presents and showing someone how much I care. It means the world to me. I also very much love making people laugh. If I can make people laugh, then it allows me to smile. If they smile, I can accept that I did something good. I gave a present to a close friend of mine the other day and I had never seen the guy so excited about something I thought was so small. I just smiled as he went nuts over it because it just felt good that I could do that for him.

Yes, that's pretty much how I feel and I know my lack of excitement may have hurt some feelings. I usually make a Christmas list of things I need/want and people know to get something off that list otherwise...it will get little or no reaction. I feel bad about that. But I do love making crafts for others, doing things for others, and giving gifts or sending flowers. Why do you think we have to feel so good about that? It's like the only things that really makes me happy.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Yes, that's pretty much how I feel and I know my lack of excitement may have hurt some feelings. I usually make a Christmas list of things I need/want and people know to get something off that list otherwise...it will get little or no reaction. I feel bad about that. But I do love making crafts for others, doing things for others, and giving gifts or sending flowers. Why do you think we have to feel so good about that? It's like the only things that really makes me happy.

Something that was branded into my head as I grew up: I'd receive a present and would also endure a ten minute lecture of how much getting said gift set my dad back, along with a day or two of repeated reminders of how much it cost (a lot of the times might have been $20) and how I'm so spoiled for even getting it, on my birthday or on Christmas. When I'd give something, "Oh, thank you." Gratitude, but very short lived as I would be incompetent about something later. Short lived but much desired. It's fixed in my brain that what I receive is selfish for accepting but must be taken with gratitude all at the same time. However, when I give, it's selfless and something that is to be commended. Maybe just something I can be proud of. I also know that I just want to make people feel something that I desire with every fiber of my being, but can't. I makes me feel good knowing that I did for others what I can never have and I live vicariously through them. So, it can still be considered selfish, but what am I going to do?

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

Something that was branded into my head as I grew up: I'd receive a present and would also endure a ten minute lecture of how much getting said gift set my dad back, along with a day or two of repeated reminders of how much it cost (a lot of the times might have been $20) and how I'm so spoiled for even getting it, on my birthday or on Christmas. When I'd give something, "Oh, thank you." Gratitude, but very short lived as I would be incompetent about something later. Short lived but much desired. It's fixed in my brain that what I receive is selfish for accepting but must be taken with gratitude all at the same time. However, when I give, it's selfless and something that is to be commended. Maybe just something I can be proud of. I also know that I just want to make people feel something that I desire with every fiber of my being, but can't. I makes me feel good knowing that I did for others what I can never have and I live vicariously through them. So, it can still be considered selfish, but what am I going to do?

I don't think it selfish a, more of taking care of a need we want so bad. I'm caretaker and protector by nature, all my jobs well except in the air force, was a public service job. What ever the risk was I would do to take care of people emotionally and physically. I grow vegetables in the summer and give most to my elderly neighbors. If I cook I give them some, the other day I ordered Chinese and brought back a neighbor who had been sick some food. It's not for the glory or pat on the back, I don't even care if they say thank you because I know they appreciate it and it's not about me, it's about them.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm both. We all give out wish lists a month or so before the holidays, so we know what we're getting anyway. I like to give to other people but I also enjoy receiving.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I'm both. We all give out wish lists a month or so before the holidays, so we know what we're getting anyway. I like to give to other people but I also enjoy receiving.

Congrats on that balance!