[Trace14]

After July 21st I will be finished with the PE therapy. It wasn't as bad as I thought but it wasn't easy either. What ever therapy you are in going through the traumas is going to be hard I think. From my experience at the VA she has been the most helpful so far. May have write a letter to the VA expressing that.
Anyway, she suggests a group therapy for me next, even though I've said I don't do groups of people, but that is the only way I can be seen weekly. I guess to taper me off of the weekly sessions we have been having and preparing me to go back to having the sessions 1-2 months apart.
21 veterans die a day from suicide, you would think the VA would wake up and bulk up the MH portion, really all portions of medical health.
Anyway, this group will be a CPT group and from what I understand all men. That will be interesting, on the upside maybe they will not be as emotional as the DBT class of women. On the downside my dad was a veteran and I think seeing male veterans being emotional will be a trigger, maybe not though, willing to give it a try.
Anyone else tried CPT therapy?

[reb569]

I haven't done any type of group therapy myself. I'm wondering, is there a Mental Health Association Office near you? They may be able to help you find something to supplement the group therapy that you will be getting at low or no cost. Or a catholic charities.

The thing that is striking me about your post is that you seem uneasy about stopping the weekly one-on-one sessions and about starting group therapy. I'm glad that you are willing to give it a try though.

And you are right, veterans should be given much better MH care than they are.

Hope things go well!

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

I haven't done any type of group therapy myself. I'm wondering, is there a Mental Health Association Office near you? They may be able to help you find something to supplement the group therapy that you will be getting at low or no cost. Or a catholic charities.

The thing that is striking me about your post is that you seem uneasy about stopping the weekly one-on-one sessions and about starting group therapy. I'm glad that you are willing to give it a try though.

And you are right, veterans should be given much better MH care than they are.

Hope things go well!

Thanks for the feedback, good to see you around again. I think the week therapy concern for the T and I both. My session before PE were 1-2 months apart with the counselor and every 3 months with the Psychiatrist. I think we don't want to loose the progress we've made. As much as I hate to admit it I do need that push from someone else to stay on track right now.
June was a very hard month, didn't know if I would see July or not.
Good idea about looking into the charities, but it would have to be no cost. I only have $635 income a month and it's hard to make it, well I don't, and have used most of my savings to live. So money is critical right now.

[amandalouise]

I had problems with CPT.... short version for those who dont know what this is, its a therapy approach where you work on your trauma and triggers. it can be very triggering for some people. it starts out like being in a high school or college class where you get information about PTSD, how the brain works, thoughts and emotions, and learn how to co operate with treatment providers, self care, coping tools learning how to take care of your own triggers, how to stop avoiding your problems and triggers, by using negative coping tools like dissociation, self injury and any other negative coping tools that have been preventing you from progressing/ healing from PTSD. Addressing those negative coping tools and learning new ones. this part was relatively easy for me, I already knew the various ways that I avoid, sabotaged or otherwise used negative coping tools rather than dealt with my problems and trauma's

the next part was where I and others that I know had some problems. I had to write an impact statement. at first I refused so we tried the other way where my treatment provider would "argue/ debate" with me, forcing me to identify my negative thoughts, emotions, beliefs that worked against my healing process. I preferred the writing the impact statement which is writing out the trauma and how it has impacted my life, my thoughts, my emotions and beliefs in negative ways. identifying in writing rather than in argumentative/ debate style.

the last phase of CPT was easier for me, this is where whats called reinforcing good coping tools. this is just continuing to use what you have learned about yourself, your body, emotions thoughts and beliefs to take care of your self rather than slipping back into the negative coping styles used before taking the class/group.

there was lots of homework where I had to practice the skills taught in and challenge myself in regards to the information given during the group.

though I had problems with some parts of the process it was very informative and beneficial to me.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I had problems with CPT.... short version for those who dont know what this is, its a therapy approach where you work on your trauma and triggers. it can be very triggering for some people. it starts out like being in a high school or college class where you get information about PTSD, how the brain works, thoughts and emotions, and learn how to co operate with treatment providers, self care, coping tools learning how to take care of your own triggers, how to stop avoiding your problems and triggers, by using negative coping tools like dissociation, self injury and any other negative coping tools that have been preventing you from progressing/ healing from PTSD. Addressing those negative coping tools and learning new ones. this part was relatively easy for me, I already knew the various ways that I avoid, sabotaged or otherwise used negative coping tools rather than dealt with my problems and trauma's

the next part was where I and others that I know had some problems. I had to write an impact statement. at first I refused so we tried the other way where my treatment provider would "argue/ debate" with me, forcing me to identify my negative thoughts, emotions, beliefs that worked against my healing process. I preferred the writing the impact statement which is writing out the trauma and how it has impacted my life, my thoughts, my emotions and beliefs in negative ways. identifying in writing rather than in argumentative/ debate style.

the last phase of CPT was easier for me, this is where whats called reinforcing good coping tools. this is just continuing to use what you have learned about yourself, your body, emotions thoughts and beliefs to take care of your self rather than slipping back into the negative coping styles used before taking the class/group.

there was lots of homework where I had to practice the skills taught in and challenge myself in regards to the information given during the group.

though I had problems with some parts of the process it was very informative and beneficial to me.

Thanks for this layout, at least I know a little more about what to expect. The impact statement is about a single trauma, right? I'm good with that writing part. I would rather write it. I just finished PE therapy and there was a lot of homework with that as well. It was very, very hard to get through, but the Psychologist that was facilitating it was skilled in getting me through it. Not like some that would just give up on me. My biggest draw back is getting to know a new person, that's hard , plus I will be in there with all men, which is okay too as long as they don't get emotional and start crying. But they might. So I'm trying to prepare myself for that.
we have identified my avoidance behaviors which seems to be about everything I do. So it will take some time to reprogram all that. Geesh a lot of work that I wish I didn't have to do, ya know? Did you have a workbook?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Thanks for this layout, at least I know a little more about what to expect. The impact statement is about a single trauma, right? I'm good with that writing part. I would rather write it. I just finished PE therapy and there was a lot of homework with that as well. It was very, very hard to get through, but the Psychologist that was facilitating it was skilled in getting me through it. Not like some that would just give up on me. My biggest draw back is getting to know a new person, that's hard , plus I will be in there with all men, which is okay too as long as they don't get emotional and start crying. But they might. So I'm trying to prepare myself for that.
we have identified my avoidance behaviors which seems to be about everything I do. So it will take some time to reprogram all that. Geesh a lot of work that I wish I didn't have to do, ya know? Did you have a workbook?

how many truama's you have to write up an impact statement for will depend upon what your instructing therapist wants the group to do. mine did only one. this is because once you learn how to do the worksheets for with one trauma then you know how to do the worksheets on your own for more trauma's.

The way this is set up it fosters being able to do things on your own, not remain stuck.

there is a teaching manual that instructors print off worksheets for the group to do. my instructing therapist always handed out more than one worksheet..one to do together as a group and others to practice/ do on our own.

your instructing therapist will tell you which book they are using and if they welcome you working ahead of the group on your own.

[reb569]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Thanks for the feedback, good to see you around again. I think the week therapy concern for the T and I both. My session before PE were 1-2 months apart with the counselor and every 3 months with the Psychiatrist. I think we don't want to loose the progress we've made. As much as I hate to admit it I do need that push from someone else to stay on track right now.
June was a very hard month, didn't know if I would see July or not.
Good idea about looking into the charities, but it would have to be no cost. I only have $635 income a month and it's hard to make it, well I don't, and have used most of my savings to live. So money is critical right now.

They are non-profit groups and for the most part are no charge. The MHA local to my area takes donations, but doesn't charge anything.

Sorry to hear the finances are so tight.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

They are non-profit groups and for the most part are no charge. The MHA local to my area takes donations, but doesn't charge anything.

Sorry to hear the finances are so tight.

I will look and see if there's anything like that around here.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

how many truama's you have to write up an impact statement for will depend upon what your instructing therapist wants the group to do. mine did only one. this is because once you learn how to do the worksheets for with one trauma then you know how to do the worksheets on your own for more trauma's.

The way this is set up it fosters being able to do things on your own, not remain stuck.

there is a teaching manual that instructors print off worksheets for the group to do. my instructing therapist always handed out more than one worksheet..one to do together as a group and others to practice/ do on our own.

your instructing therapist will tell you which book they are using and if they welcome you working ahead of the group on your own.

What you are saying makes sense. Thanks for letting me know this and I can prepare myself as to what is expected. Thinking about going to a group makes me want to vomit, and for that reason I'm trying not to dwell on it but want to know more about what it's about. I can take something before hand to deal with the nausea, Sudafed helps to keep me from crying so quickly, and speeds the recovery if I do. My biggest fear of this group is that there will be older men there and they may become emotional and trigger some strong flashbacks and that will certainly engage flight mode. Not sure what can be done beforehand to make that easier if it happens.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

how many truama's you have to write up an impact statement for will depend upon what your instructing therapist wants the group to do. mine did only one. this is because once you learn how to do the worksheets for with one trauma then you know how to do the worksheets on your own for more trauma's.

The way this is set up it fosters being able to do things on your own, not remain stuck.

there is a teaching manual that instructors print off worksheets for the group to do. my instructing therapist always handed out more than one worksheet..one to do together as a group and others to practice/ do on our own.

your instructing therapist will tell you which book they are using and if they welcome you working ahead of the group on your own.

Remaining stuck? I don't think I'm stuck, but I don't know really what that would look like. We worked on some traumas in PE and I think we made some progress on that one and we started working on another, but there are more. Do you think CPT is the right group for multiple traumas?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Remaining stuck? I don't think I'm stuck, but I don't know really what that would look like. We worked on some traumas in PE and I think we made some progress on that one and we started working on another, but there are more. Do you think CPT is the right group for multiple traumas?

the material of CPT fits both going through a singular trauma or many. whether it fits you and your trauma's you will need to talk with your treatment provider about why they want you to go to this group.

being stuck...All human beings have stuck points that can prevent them from moving on. a stuck point is a negative belief that has a negative impact on your life....

not related to trauma so as to not trigger anyone think about something that is black and white thinking for you, all or nothing...

heres one of mine....

Turnips smell so they must taste horrid. .... when I heard the main dish included Turnips at a dinner party that negative belief almost prevented me from going, I told my wife a million excuses why I could not go. finally my wife said ok dont go you explain it to the host of the party.. I dialed the phone and made excuses but then using CPT I modified that negative belief that was preventing me from going to a dinner party.......Turnips may smell bad but that does not mean they will taste bad. I tried the Turnip dish and came home with the recipe.

Everyone and everything comes with negatives and positives / pros and cons trauma is the same way. it causes people to have stuck points (firm negative beliefs that prevent them from trying new things, ...think about those times when your treatment provider has asked you to try something and you may have said something like no that wont work because this that and the other thing.. with out even trying it, that "thing" was pushed aside with firmly held beliefs....Im guessing once you get in the group you will have many negative beliefs that you will be modifying for yourself. )

Im guessing your treatment provider would not have suggested this group if it would not be addressing any of the problems that you may be having. my suggestion is talk with your treatment provider, let them know you need clarification as to why they feel this is a good group for you.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

the material of CPT fits both going through a singular trauma or many. whether it fits you and your trauma's you will need to talk with your treatment provider about why they want you to go to this group.

being stuck...All human beings have stuck points that can prevent them from moving on. a stuck point is a negative belief that has a negative impact on your life....

not related to trauma so as to not trigger anyone think about something that is black and white thinking for you, all or nothing...

heres one of mine....

Turnips smell so they must taste horrid. .... when I heard the main dish included Turnips at a dinner party that negative belief almost prevented me from going, I told my wife a million excuses why I could not go. finally my wife said ok dont go you explain it to the host of the party.. I dialed the phone and made excuses but then using CPT I modified that negative belief that was preventing me from going to a dinner party.......Turnips may smell bad but that does not mean they will taste bad. I tried the Turnip dish and came home with the recipe.

Everyone and everything comes with negatives and positives / pros and cons trauma is the same way. it causes people to have stuck points (firm negative beliefs that prevent them from trying new things, ...think about those times when your treatment provider has asked you to try something and you may have said something like no that wont work because this that and the other thing.. with out even trying it, that "thing" was pushed aside with firmly held beliefs....Im guessing once you get in the group you will have many negative beliefs that you will be modifying for yourself. )

Im guessing your treatment provider would not have suggested this group if it would not be addressing any of the problems that you may be having. my suggestion is talk with your treatment provider, let them know you need clarification as to why they feel this is a good group for you.

Thanks maybe the provider can explain, but I think it was mostly so I would some type of session weekly as opposed to the 1-2 month lapse between sessions with the VA.
Yes, maybe the sessions will bring something out , or explain why I'm so numb by them. Do you think medications numb a person out to these emotions? I've been thinking about stopping them for a couple of reasons. 1. they may be impeding my progress 2. My Psychiatrist has really done some thing that makes me not trust her or feel safe with her. SO I can't go back to her. If I request another provider I have to tell why and she may lose her job and I don't want to be responsible for that. Not seeing her anymore would be the easiest way and that would mean I would have to stop the meds anyway.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Thanks maybe the provider can explain, but I think it was mostly so I would some type of session weekly as opposed to the 1-2 month lapse between sessions with the VA.
Yes, maybe the sessions will bring something out , or explain why I'm so numb by them. Do you think medications numb a person out to these emotions? I've been thinking about stopping them for a couple of reasons. 1. they may be impeding my progress 2. My Psychiatrist has really done some thing that makes me not trust her or feel safe with her. SO I can't go back to her. If I request another provider I have to tell why and she may lose her job and I don't want to be responsible for that. Not seeing her anymore would be the easiest way and that would mean I would have to stop the meds anyway.

medications.... in general for some people yes meds can cause these problems and for others no meds dont cause these problems. to find out if your meds are whats causing you to feel numb and impeding your progress you will need to talk with your prescribing doctor.

the psychiatrist doing something to you that could result in their losing their job.... um I think of this situation like this.... what happens if I keep quiet and my silence results in others getting harmed by the treatment provider in the same ways I have been harmed....

take it out of the profession for a moment...

if someone physically mentally and sexually abused me I decide I dont want to get that person in trouble and then a while later I find out .....After ..... this person abused me they went on to abuse children and other adults...

that would make me feel so bad because if I had told and the abuser investigated these people might have not gotten hurt. I would not be able to live with the fact that I was an accomplice to someone else being harmed through my remaining silent.

my suggestion is to consider contacting your locations licensing board for this treatment provider. ...if this psychiatrist harmed you in such a way that it can result in their loss of job, you are most likely not the only one. you reporting that person can prevent others including the children and other adults that are seeing this person from harm.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

medications.... in general for some people yes meds can cause these problems and for others no meds dont cause these problems. to find out if your meds are whats causing you to feel numb and impeding your progress you will need to talk with your prescribing doctor.

the psychiatrist doing something to you that could result in their losing their job.... um I think of this situation like this.... what happens if I keep quiet and my silence results in others getting harmed by the treatment provider in the same ways I have been harmed....

take it out of the profession for a moment...

if someone physically mentally and sexually abused me I decide I dont want to get that person in trouble and then a while later I find out .....After ..... this person abused me they went on to abuse children and other adults...

that would make me feel so bad because if I had told and the abuser investigated these people might have not gotten hurt. I would not be able to live with the fact that I was an accomplice to someone else being harmed through my remaining silent.

my suggestion is to consider contacting your locations licensing board for this treatment provider. ...if this psychiatrist harmed you in such a way that it can result in their loss of job, you are most likely not the only one. you reporting that person can prevent others including the children and other adults that are seeing this person from harm.

I've really got to think this through and try to come up with the right decision. It wasn't physical harm. It was the lies in my chart, I think she thought I was someone else. How can trust a provider with medications when she doesn't even know who I am? I tried to contact via US Mail, instead of going through the VA messaging system so no one else would read it and I've heard nothing from her. There's a form to request a change in provider and you have to list why.I don't know if it is as important for them,at the VA, to tell the truth in reports as it was at the hospital I worked at. The hospital did not tolerate saying you did something for or with the patient and you didn't. Not just one "mistake" but several (7-10). I want my personal records to be correct. And these mistakes were found in the short version that patients are allowed to see online, through the VA site. I don't want to lie, but I don't want her to lose her job. I doubt I would ever be able to trust her again as my MH provider. It really doesn't seem like a big thing, but it is too me.

[Trace14]

Started the CPT group today, it's a small group 3 men and me. I guess that will be okay. We lucked up and had a fire alarm during the session so that took up about 15 minutes. Got to go outside and get warm. It was colder than a well diggers butt in that classroom. Next time I will take my suitcase of warmer clothes.
The facilitator seems nice and knowledgeable, that's a plus to get both at the VA, still have one more PE session to do. I will miss the tele sessions, now I will actually having to get up, get ready and leave the house now to go to an appointment. They should make all sessions tele sessions. There would be some drawbacks for the therapist though. One thing it's hard for them to tell when you dissociate, or see any self harm, or see the leg jumping from anxiety, or really read the client. But it was a good experience. But it was hard. I guess if I get a little bit of benefit from each one maybe one day it will come together and be a big benefit, that's what I'm hoping anyway.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Started the CPT group today, it's a small group 3 men and me. I guess that will be okay. We lucked up and had a fire alarm during the session so that took up about 15 minutes. Got to go outside and get warm. It was colder than a well diggers butt in that classroom. Next time I will take my suitcase of warmer clothes.
The facilitator seems nice and knowledgeable, that's a plus to get both at the VA, still have one more PE session to do. I will miss the tele sessions, now I will actually having to get up, get ready and leave the house now to go to an appointment. They should make all sessions tele sessions. There would be some drawbacks for the therapist though. One thing it's hard for them to tell when you dissociate, or see any self harm, or see the leg jumping from anxiety, or really read the client. But it was a good experience. But it was hard. I guess if I get a little bit of benefit from each one maybe one day it will come together and be a big benefit, that's what I'm hoping anyway.

sorry you were cold and glad you have a plan on helping yourself to be warm in future group sessions. yes the class does not focus on the instructor noticing if the students are dissociating, self injuring or legs jumping. they are there to teach the group material. here if they focused on pointing out any time they saw a student dissociating, have self injured or legs jumping they would end up not having time to focus on teaching skills. their time would be taken up like a support group ....Amanda I see you dissociating, amanda I see you are leg bouncing again, amanda I see you did this that and the other thing...also it could embarrass the students to point out that behavior when the group material isnt about leg bouncing, self injury and dissociation. its about you learning to control your own behaviors and learning how to take care of yourself during triggering/ trauma filled times by using the class material..

suggestion next time .......you.....notice you are dissociating, bouncing your leg or thinking of self harm....use your grounding tools that will help you to be present and focused back on the group and material. .....example take a deep breath, take notes, bring something small that you can hold, ....maybe write down when those things happen and why so that you can take the issues up with your individual therapy person when you do get to see them.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

sorry you were cold and glad you have a plan on helping yourself to be warm in future group sessions. yes the class does not focus on the instructor noticing if the students are dissociating, self injuring or legs jumping. they are there to teach the group material. here if they focused on pointing out any time they saw a student dissociating, have self injured or legs jumping they would end up not having time to focus on teaching skills. their time would be taken up like a support group ....Amanda I see you dissociating, amanda I see you are leg bouncing again, amanda I see you did this that and the other thing...also it could embarrass the students to point out that behavior when the group material isnt about leg bouncing, self injury and dissociation. its about you learning to control your own behaviors and learning how to take care of yourself during triggering/ trauma filled times by using the class material..

suggestion next time .......you.....notice you are dissociating, bouncing your leg or thinking of self harm....use your grounding tools that will help you to be present and focused back on the group and material. .....example take a deep breath, take notes, bring something small that you can hold, ....maybe write down when those things happen and why so that you can take the issues up with your individual therapy person when you do get to see them.

I don't have an individual therapist anymore, not since I started PE tele session and this CPT group. I mentioned the dissociating, leg jumping and self harm as disadvantages for therapist when doing tele sessions, via computer or notebook. That's how the PE session were done, by media. The media appointments worked out very well for me. Didn't have to leave the house, or dress up to go out, could go right back to bed after the session. But I can see where the the tele sessions very much limit the observation of the client. I mean really we could only see each others heads.

[jamesb]

Originally Posted by Trace14

After July 21st I will be finished with the PE therapy. It wasn't as bad as I thought but it wasn't easy either. What ever therapy you are in going through the traumas is going to be hard I think. From my experience at the VA she has been the most helpful so far. May have write a letter to the VA expressing that.
Anyway, she suggests a group therapy for me next, even though I've said I don't do groups of people, but that is the only way I can be seen weekly. I guess to taper me off of the weekly sessions we have been having and preparing me to go back to having the sessions 1-2 months apart.
21 veterans die a day from suicide, you would think the VA would wake up and bulk up the MH portion, really all portions of medical health.
Anyway, this group will be a CPT group and from what I understand all men. That will be interesting, on the upside maybe they will not be as emotional as the DBT class of women. On the downside my dad was a veteran and I think seeing male veterans being emotional will be a trigger, maybe not though, willing to give it a try.
Anyone else tried CPT therapy?

hoping VA gets better during the next y, with all the attention it's getting now. ptsd has come a long way in recognition over the past 30 y from what I understand, then it was just 'tough it out'

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by jamesb

hoping VA gets better during the next y, with all the attention it's getting now. ptsd has come a long way in recognition over the past 30 y from what I understand, then it was just 'tough it out'

You are so right about the VA, they have made some progress but there's room for much more. Veterans have always been treated poorly though. Started with Vietnam. There are so many veterans out here. They should pay for the veterans to go to their own doctor and that would work out for everyone.