[Trace14]

Trigger ****Trigger *****Trigger

My mom just called and her sister my Aunt has gone into a coma. She has spine cancer that has moved to her brain. They are not expecting her to make it for very long. I just don't know what to do. I can't go to another funeral home or see my mom so upset. Overwhelmed!!!!!!

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt.

[Open Eyes]

(((Trace))) I am sorry about your aunt and can totally relate to not wanting to go to a funeral. I can't do them either because I can't deal with the emotional pain. A friend of my husband's, long time friend went to sleep on the sofa Christmas Eve and his wife went to wake him Christmas morning and he was dead. I felt so bad for that family, but I could not go with my husband to the funeral.

Can you ask your doctor for some medication that can help you get through this, a sedative that keeps you calm? Have you ever tried Klonopin? Maybe some Lithium even, although I have never tried that myself but it's supposed to be a mood stabilizer.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

(((Trace))) I am sorry about your aunt and can totally relate to not wanting to go to a funeral. I can't do them either because I can't deal with the emotional pain. A friend of my husband's, long time friend went to sleep on the sofa Christmas Eve and his wife went to wake him Christmas morning and he was dead. I felt so bad for that family, but I could not go with my husband to the funeral.

Can you ask your doctor for some medication that can help you get through this, a sedative that keeps you calm? Have you ever tried Klonopin? Maybe some Lithium even, although I have never tried that myself but it's supposed to be a mood stabilizer.

Just seems like this New Year is starting out so bad. I have some Klonopin I think and some Valium, just don't like taking them, that's why I have them. Never really been medication compliant. But thanks for the response and hug.

[Open Eyes]

I understand, I keep the klonopin on hand too, I don't like to take drugs either.

I am sorry, emotional pain is a lot more difficult when struggling with PTSD that includes a lot of emotional pain in it. I think a big part of your challenge is also complicated grief disorder so this kind of challenge is especially difficult.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I understand, I keep the klonopin on hand too, I don't like to take drugs either.

I am sorry, emotional pain is a lot more difficult when struggling with PTSD that includes a lot of emotional pain in it. I think a big part of your challenge is also complicated grief disorder so this kind of challenge is especially difficult.

I got the call this afternoon that she passed away, been vomiting and upset stomach since. Not sure why these deaths trigger a feeling with me of that I should have done more or could I have saved them Dad, my cat, my aunt. I'm chilled to the bone as well as being sick, then there's the crying . Looks like at some point a person would learn how not to cry or run out of tears.

[Luce]

It sounds like it is triggering up old stuff, connecting to past deaths. Can you try some grounding skills and see if that helps?

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Luce

It sounds like it is triggering up old stuff, connecting to past deaths. Can you try some grounding skills and see if that helps?

Thanks for responding, I just don't have the energy and concentration for that right now. But thanks, I'll get through it.

[Open Eyes]

(((((Trace)))))),

I am sorry this is triggering you so badly. You know what though? It's ok to cry, we cry for a reason and it's healthy to shed tears because it releases toxins we have built up from stress. I read about it a while back and I am sorry I can't remember exactly what was said about crying and how it's healthy.

When someone we know passes away it most definitely brings on a deep sense of "helplessness" to do anything about it other then to grieve it and find our way towards accepting it. We are all wired to survive and thrive and that makes death very hard to accept. Human beings have always struggled with that and have created ceremonies to help with finding ways to keep loved ones present in our lives in some kind of positive light.

It's very important to work on making sure you find your way towards not feeling "fault" or that you should have done something to prevent. This "feeling" is another part of our survival though and has become the very reason we have discovered so many ways to extend our lives and having treatments for illnesses that many died from but today survive from. This desire to "save" has been an important part of our thriving and surviving. You know Trace, other intelligent animals like elephants and whales and porpoises and other primates experience "grieving" too.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

(((((Trace)))))),

I am sorry this is triggering you so badly. You know what though? It's ok to cry, we cry for a reason and it's healthy to shed tears because it releases toxins we have built up from stress. I read about it a while back and I am sorry I can't remember exactly what was said about crying and how it's healthy.

When someone we know passes away it most definitely brings on a deep sense of "helplessness" to do anything about it other then to grieve it and find our way towards accepting it. We are all wired to survive and thrive and that makes death very hard to accept. Human beings have always struggled with that and have created ceremonies to help with finding ways to keep loved ones present in our lives in some kind of positive light.

It's very important to work on making sure you find your way towards not feeling "fault" or that you should have done something to prevent. This "feeling" is another part of our survival though and has become the very reason we have discovered so many ways to extend our lives and having treatments for illnesses that many died from but today survive from. This desire to "save" has been an important part of our thriving and surviving. You know Trace, other intelligent animals like elephants and whales and porpoises and other primates experience "grieving" too.

Thanks it will eventually be okay I hope

[Trace14]

I guess what's so troubling it seems like there's so much cancer in our family, both sides. My Aunt that just died had cancer in her spine then it traveled to her brain. We didn't know until she was put into the hospital last Wednesday, she came home Friday and died Monday. It's scary.

[Trace14]

Another reason I was so wound up is my last spine xray the doctor noted a "possible malignancy" on my back. Well of course I got upset and my doctor at the VA said it was a typo and they took that off. So when I heard my aunt had cancer of the spine that's what hit my head was what if that wasn't a typo. I apologized to the nurse for being so agitated with her. She understood after I explained all this. Plus the doctor wanted to know when I had my last mammogram and I told an approx. date, she said that's not right because you were seeing me on_______. So I found some paperwork that stated that was the date and now they want a copy of the report, like they don't believe me. Grrrrr. Pardon the frustration I didn't sleep at all last night. A lot of things going on.