Prolonged Exposure Therapy?

Ya know when I first started the PE therapy my T asked if I thought I could emotionally connect to what happened with dad and I said no. But then when I started talking about it I really cried. It shocked me. I had been labeled "stoic" as well and felt like I had no more tears to share for this. Even now I can tell someone about it and detach, but for some reason in session it gets very real.
Not being overly reactive to stuff like that must be in the T handbook.

It is often better to be contained. It wouldn't be good for a therapist to be reactive, i guess soothing could be good for some but not you I see..

My therapist sees crying as sort of acting out. Sounds strange, but it doesn't bother me. I cry in therapy maybe every other session. It often happens with body memories, so it can be really short lived, and happens in tandem with fear attacks usually. Other times, it's not PTSD related.

Hope crying was somehow relieving for you.

I think crying is an awesome release. I think my T thinks so as well, I was just wondering what the reason why they don't console people when they cry. There must be a reason. Yeah, when I cry I just want to be left alone, same thing when I'm sick.

I think crying can be a relief when associated with grief, so I hear you. I think one reason to not console a client would be containment, though I'd have to think to come up for more. I already took ambien for the night, so will be going to sleep soon.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow Trace.

Sleep well. I think there's some reason Therapists don't console during session we just have to find out. I think when we do it will give us a better understanding of their perspective too. Sleep well and sweet dreams

I thinks it's because of Transference to some extent. Or to prevent a developing dependency. I think most therapists would want you to reach out to a (safe) friend or family member for comfort rather than them.

Even if you were alone with them in a session? I've noticed they just kind of sit there and watch you cry without any expression or saying anything. It just makes the client feel like an idiot for crying, or it does me.

My therapist didn't do that. She listened, made some supportive comments, expressed her understanding of how I was feeling, but it was very controlled. Enough to let me know that she understood and heard me, without her becoming my rock. I think a lot of therapists worry about clients becoming too attached to them, and it can happen very easily. Not responding at all or expressing any response is not good though.

Sorry you felt bad about crying. Her silence might have led you to feel things in connection to the fact you made yourself vulnerable.

You asked-why therapists do this-

Maybe not in your case here, I'm not sure, but I think therapists are silent when they are trying to exercise holding or containment. If that's what she was doing, she might have not been good at it or messed it up, or maybe used that intervention at the wrong time. Psychodynamic therapies use this a lot.

When using containment, a therapist serves to absorb your emotions, which often helps with self-regulation and increases your capacity to withstand emotions/ego strength.

These are just excerpts from random sites, but the concept is everywhere and often consistent.

The history of this concept goes way back; here it explains about not reacting:

i must say, Trace, that normally i do not read one-person threads.... BUT
i can really relate to what you are saying, and i vote for AVOIDANCE. i too cry when i have to talk about some of the things that have happened to me. otherwise, i just panic and freeze when confronted with similar situations.

i'm too old, and have worked too hard on things that really matter to me, to spend my time in Prolonged Exposure. i hope you are young enough to really benefit from all that suffering~
best wishes~

PE therapy is not for everyone for sure. But it has helped a lot of people and is beginning to help me. I'm going through healing , not suffering. I know what suffering is and PE therapy is not it.

Got some frustrating news. After the PE therapy is over I will be seeing someone else most likely. Supposedly the VA has a new BHIP (Behavioral Health Interdisciplinary Program) and a "care team" will oversee who I see and when. Sounds like another government bait and switch program.

SO how's the PE therapy going now?

CPTSD would be easier to deal with if it were only one trauma. If I had known earlier in life to get help for earlier traumas.

You did the best you could. If only we had the foresight for anything and everything...

Sounds like the VA is not very patient centered? I wouldnt be ok with behavioral teams and telling me what to do. I hope whatever they come up with is towards a positive direction.

Hoping for the best for you Trace.

Thanks, the government has never been very positive for veterans care. At the suicide rate being 22 a day you would think they would see a problem there. I remember my first appointment I had to wait three months. Then my next appointments were 1-2 months apart. You can't do therapy like that. Now that I've found a psychologist that is proactive and doesn't really take no for an answer I have been making some progress. Now at the end of May I will not be seeing her anymore. But maybe it will work out, I hope so. I'm guessing you don't go to the VA, right?

I have been trying out prolonged exposure therapy with free writing. It makes me sick to my stomach so every ten minutes I take a five minute break to deep breath or mindful breathing. This idea came from compassion focused therapy mixed with exposure therapy.

Do you feel like it is working?

Trying to wrap my mind around that-you are doing well, therapy is helping, now you can't see the person who is helping you? It makes more sense to continue what is working. Maybe this will work out better, keep us posted.

No, I couldn't go there for therapy and only go to those in private practice. Ive heard mixed things about the VA. I might go there for medical care, just never signed up and am always told my health insurance is "good" (not that it relates to the quality of my care-it does not).

It's really sad, the suicides. I didn't realize it was so high and wonder how it compares with civilian rates.

If you have private insurance then use that. You are mush better off. Did you know if you have Obama care that you can not use the VA healthcare system? I had private insurance but had signed up with the VA to see if I could get my prescriptions cheaper. But you have to be seen by VA doctors before they will take over your prescriptions. So I was told I had to drop one or the other. They consider it "double dipping" getting too many federal benefits. But if you have private insurance through work you can still use VA with that.
The suicide rate is higher for male and female veterans compared to civilians. There was a chart on that just recently. I will see if I can find it.

Couldn't find what I was looking for but here is something
"A recent analysis found a suicide rate among veterans of about 30 per 100,000 population per year, compared with the civilian rate of 14 per 100,000. However, the comparison was not adjusted for age and sex. "

Have a session today and just looked at some notes and I did my homework wrong. I wrote down 10 things that would make me happy instead of 10 things I could do to make me happy. Really having a hard time thinking of 10 things that I could do to make me happy. Can you do it? Is it easy for you? Maybe I'm a little reserved about it because I know she will try to use those for homework assignments. I beginning to think that the best thing to do is not answer questions like that.

Had a session today. With every fiber of my being I wanted to cancel this appointment because I hadn't done the homework, still feeling like crap after dealing with Dad's BD, my BD and Father's day. It was harder this year for some reason, took me to some places I really didn't want to be, so I slept a lot to get away from the thoughts in my head.
Anyway, I went on with it. The T didn't really make me feel as bad as I was making myself feel. We started with a different imaginal, recreating my earliest trauma I remember, witnessing my Grandfather's death. It was harder than I thought it would be and totally messed up my day. During this session I had a lot of chills and near vomiting, but I held it together until after the session and it all came up. Not sure if I'm getting a stomach bug or if it was what we talked about. The T extended the sessions until the end of July. Not sure how I sure how I feel about that, It's got to end sometime. She's caring enough to want to end it on a better note but I'm not sure we can get to that place anytime soon. I keep hoping it will be like a clogged pipe and eventually bust through pulling all the traumatic memories with it. Keep waiting for that magic wooosh.

Finished the PE therapy today. It was bitter/sweet. I'm thankful I made it through it, I'm thankful that I had such an awesome facilitator for it, who got me lined up for CPT group before we ended to keep the therapy continuous, she's offered to be there if I need to talk to her (I doubt that will happen but it was a nice gesture)
It's such a big difference going from PE to CPT. I have to go to the VA for CPT, PE wants you to discuss the trauma in every little detail, and CPT not in detail at all. CPT seems to be set up for more of the military trauma, mine is non military. Plus I'm the only female in the group and I hope that will not discourage the men from talking.
I would do PE again if I had to, but that's because I understand it now. I realize why so many people think it's cruel to go through the trauma(s) in detail and have to listen to them but it does actually help.
I would recommend it to anyone going through PTSD but only if you are truly committed to feeling better and ready to go through some hard stuff to feel better. It's not easy nor would it be a good thing for people that are on the fence about the work you have to put into therapy. You have to be committed and focused to get through this. It's not for everyone.