CPTSD vs BPD

So far all my counselor has said is that I'm an empath, and said she thought I probably avoid conflict at all cost (which is true). She did say we need to work on setting boundaries (like with my dad who won't quit drinking so he can get his liver transplant). I tend to try to fix everyone else's problems and avoid dealing with my own. Just like when I was a kid both my parents would go on a binge and be up for days and have horrible fights. Screaming at eachother cuz one of them cheated on the other. They'd call me at school to try to turn me against the other. My dad would tell me "yeah your mom said she was gonna take a bunch of pills to commit suicide" or my mom called and told me "your dad wears women's clothing when we have sex, he's crazy". But when I was home I would always sit in between them while they screamed at a each other so I could calm things down when they got too out of hand. I felt like the adult, at 10 years old. And of course I'm an only child, so I had no help. Funny thing is I had the PERFECT childhood before that. They were the head of NA meetings in the area. Head of the PTA at school, walked me into school and waiting 10-15 minutes with me until the teacher got there. And then it all went to hell

I'll definitely go check it out. Thank you!

You're welcome ❤

I am an empath as well, but I think maybe your counselor is confused on what exactly an empath is. An empath is one who senses another's emotions and/or problems without being told about it. This person may or may not be nearby (depending on how sensitive the empath is). The empath then takes the emotions and issues on themselves - often times tries to counsel or otherwise assist the source of the emotions or problems. It is very draining, but it is also not a psychological, mental, nor emotional problem. It is in fact a type of capability that a person either is or is not born with. For example, when I was 5, I woke up from a dead sleep crying and screaming my grandfather on the other side of the country was dead. I had no idea what death was at that time...but I was so upset I could not be consoled. While I was crying, my grandmother called to tell us my grandfather had just died - his kidney had given out. Another example is I was talking to a friend online, she was telling me all about the things she was going to do next summer. I asked her why she wanted to kill herself then... she broke down and cried. I am not psychic. I can tell when things are wrong and it bothers me when I cant help work it out - because it affects me too. The only way to "shut it off" is to attempt to distance yourself from the person until you can "recharge" or to shut yourself down by putting up internal blocks (which harms you psychologically - I know from doing it). It's a blessing and a curse, not a disorder or problem.

Yeah I'm not sure I'm an empath either. I mean I definitely go out of my way to never be mean/gossip because it kills me to ever see another person upset or hurt. The only way I can describe it is I know what it's like to be hurt or sad and I would never want anyone to feel like that. I'm always the one to cheer people up. But wouldn't that be more codependent and wanting to fix/take care of people? She does want to try EMDR, but I just don't know if that's right for me.. and she specializes in it. But with no insurance, she's the most affordable I've found ($125 a week). I've tried looking up other counselors/therapists thinking because I'm completely new to all of this and dealing with being fired, divorce, being evicted from my old place all within a 4 month period. Wouldn't it probably be best to see a licensed therapist who can prescribe medication if needed?

I personally agree! Am not taking about shame here.

But people who use the label to hurt others whether intentional or not don't agree, and we can't control them. The label can be used against you in court, child custody, work background checks, and by medical people--both mental health and non mental health.

You should not agree to or do anything you do not feel comfortable with. Doing so will be a waste of time and money at best, and complicate things further for you at worst. So figure out if you are comfortable with her and the therapy she is giving before you go too far into it. I am not sure if what you describe is even co-dependency. To me, it just simply sounds like you are being overly sensitive to others needs without first taking care of self. It is more a symptom of varying things than it is anything else. Co-dependency tends to mean that you will sacrifice your welfare to any person you care for for the sake of their happiness ... even if it leads to abuse. With you though it sounds like perhaps you want to "fix it" but not necessarily remain a part of the dynamic.

Any mental health label can be used against you - as can many of the long term medical labels. I agree we cannot control them. We cannot control anyone or anything but our own self. Letting go of the idea that we need to somehow control someone or something we are not the central operator of is the only thing that will ever keep a person at peace within themselves in this world - or at least the only one I have found.

If you try to "fix" a broken system .. you may actually change some rules and laws ... but does that mean there will never be "exceptions" made to those rules or laws or that they will never be changed back or that everyone will follow them?

If you try to make someone understand your point of view - does that mean they will even listen?

The answers of course are "no" ... BUT... you can control your actions, your thoughts, your beliefs, your feelings about something, and your emotions.
If you DECIDE you BELIEVE it is important enough to attempt to fix a broken system .. you can ACT on it.. that way you can then FEEL satisfied you did all you could and therefore feel the EMOTION of peace. That's an example..

I hope that makes sense?

Hi Crypts,
My point is that that the borderline label is used in a negative way by those in the mental health field to invalidate, blame, etc. I thought it would be worth mentioning here that there are implications to having the label in your record due to stigmas. That's why most MH people don't use the label even for people who have the criteria. Most who work in the field seem to recognize this (i don't work in MH but know others who do and this is consensus).

For example, someone is abused by the therapist and files a complaint. The therapist denies the harm and blames it on the client saying they are borderline, and filing the complaint is because they have a personality disorder.

Another person posted on the psychotherapy forum about not being allowed to go to back to a hospital because the staff said she was borderline (ie trying to get attention, taken care of, manipulative, etc). The person was very unsafe and didn't get the help she needed. It happens all the time.

I agree any labels can be used against you in a sense. I've had problems getting treated for physical health issues as I've been told it's all in my head (ie anxiety), when it wasn't. So I was misdiagnosed and had really serious implications and had long term affects from having a MH diagnosis in my record....long story.

That's the message i was trying to convey. Thanks for your perspective.

I am not angry at you or in any way feeling aggressive toward you and I apologize if I came off that way. My main point though was many people are afraid to even be checked for BPD because of the way the stigma is discussed. Not everyone believes in that stigma - and it can be averted if you take the time to give a quick assurance to someone who may know nothing about it. When someone finds out I have BPD or when I first tell them, if I have reason to believe they know nothing about it - I tell them "it doesn't mean I am a danger to anyone other than myself at times and it is in no way related to DID or bipolar. Its just a part of my personality." they usually calm and if they have any questions, i let them ask ... that way i dont have to dodge rumor mills. But there is huge stigma surrounding bipolar as well. And when I was working - I was looked down upon more for my depression than anything else.

Stigma of mental and emotional disorders is bad no matter what - unless there is education first.

And yes, there will be corrupt doctors, but that will always happen, no matter the field or diagnosis. Medical doctors have been known to give meds they know will cause annoying side effects to patients that annoy them at times. It's the nature of the world we live in. It's corrupt.

I didnt see anything wrong. We were just having a conversation, and we are both passionate about what we had to say. Its all good.

Hugs to you too.

I can relate in both cases. Since I was misdiagnosed with mixed personality disorder while IP even if my psychiatrist says I don´t have any, I was told I was being manipulative when trying to tell them I wasn't safe.

When I was IP for a physical reason and I got mild pseudoparkinsonism from a med they gave me from nausea, they thought it was just anxiety... and said it was all in my head.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-