CPTSD vs BPD

Can someone please explain the differences? They are both so similar. I'm seeing a counselor and I've been afraid to ask her what my diagnosis is. I know you can't self diagnose but I feel like it would be easier to ask if she thinks I have something specific. I'm paying $125 a visit and she wants to see me weekly and I can't afford it. I would really like to have a possible diagnosis so I'm able to do my own research through books and things like that. Like I said, I know you can't self diagnose. I hope this makes sense...

Nothing huh?

Yes its kinda hard to self diagnose, but remember that CPSD, PTSD, BPD, DID, etc overlap in symptoms and these lables are not terribly accurate in describing what is exactly going on.

These labels bring a lot of unnecessary shame and burdon too if we discover we have more than one disorder. I stopped shaming myself unnecessarily by describing myself as having these labels. What Im doing is trying to work on the most urgent issues I have such as inner critic, toxic shame, perfectionisim, depression and so on.

My point is dont get too invested in what you exactly have. Even therapists can misdiagnose us esp those who treat us like a list of symptoms, which can bring even more hurt.

I'm not sure how to describe it but I just feel like a diagnosis would help.. gosh I don't know how to explain it. Like it would help me describe or identify my feelings? Like in counseling I couldn't find a word to describe how I felt and my counselor kinda rattled off a few words and the first was abandonment. And immediately I got emotional because she was so spot on but that word had never come to mind

If you have CPTSD you have a negative sense of self, black or white thinking it is possible when triggered but not necessary and it is not present while normal, abandonment issues are not necessary present, love-hatred and sudden changes of ideas/religion/whatever are not necessary present.... while all of these things are present in BPD.

Also, lack of self regulation and control it is present while triggered, but it is not necessary part of the personality.

Nightmares, flashbacks, avoiding trauma related situation, abnormal fears, ... everything it is present in PTSD it is normally also in CPTSD. THe main difference it is in CPTSD flashbacks are emotional and rarely visual. Also, in BPD dissociation is always negative and tends to lead to SH or SH ideation, while in CPTSD it can be protective and is not easily percived as negative, some people with CPTSD with a strong freeze response might look for getting more and more dissociated instead of SH to feel something which is common in BPD.

It is mostly a trauma response vs a personality. While triggered people with CPTSD may look like BPD, or like other disorders like schizophrenia or antisocial, but it is not their personality/normal thinking.

When I am severly triggered I can get short psychotic episodes, but they are not related with my schizophrenia.

(I don't fit the criteria for BPD, I was mostly missdiagnosed with schizoid and schizotypal PD rather than BPD)

My counselor hasn't told me a diagnosis but has said I'm codependent, empathetic and have self esteem issues. So of course I go home and Google and the only thing that comes up is BPD.

Psychoeducating yourself is the first step if you are serious about your recovery. A lot of self help book are available to read so you can gain the right tools and use them in describing your inner experience.

A lot of us who were raised by neglectful abusive parents likely to develop CPTSD. You can function ok in life in general without even being aware of internal trauma. At age 30 or later we give up and seek therapy because we feel there is something wrong with us and we can't cope anymore.

CPTSD is just a label for a set of symptoms that are chronic, such as vicious inner critic, emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment and social anxiety. Its also hard for therapists to pin point if you actually have CPTSD. They might misdiagnose you with depression for example, and try to CBT therapize you but without any results. It definitely depends on the severity of your symptoms.

If you are interested in learning more about CPTSD, Pete Walker's book is a definite recommendation that you might want check out.

100% agree

I can tell you a major way of "fingering" BPD vs SOME (not all) of the other disorder are these three things:
- attachment issues (tend to attach to anyone that shows positive attention, and when in a relationship will do anything to make sure it does not end)
- abandonment issues (constantly afraid of relationships ending - for real or imagined reasons)
- black and white thinking - it's all or nothing, empty or full, everyone or nobody, everything or nothing, etc ... no middle ground

So yes BPD includes similarities to many illnesses but it has unique features as well. Those are the ones that should be watched for.

I honestly believe I had BPD. My soon to be ex husband had narcissistic tendencies. And from all I've read bpd/narcissists attract eachother. Maybe it's because I'm in the medical field I feel the need to have a diagnosis. I've wanted to bring it up to my counselor and see what she says but I'm just not sure how to. I don't want her to think I'm overstepping by trying to diagnose myself

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/b...rder-symptoms/

That's an excellent description of it... This site also has a very good "test" for it

A lot of people self-diagnose. I wouldn't be overly concerned about that. Also, you could just ask your therapist what your diagnosis is. Just go for it.

They are both just manifestations of the same thing. DID too. It seems to greatly depend on the medical person's view rather than what the person actually has.

There are hundreds of ways borderline can manifest, but people seem to think of it as what the stereotype portrays. I think people who have problems with impulse control, externalization of anger, self harm, hospitalizations, sui attempts would be more likely to be diagnosed with the borderline label even though they could be considered CPTSD. Other people with the same manifestation of issues would be diagnosed as bipolar (though less likely if self-harm is involved).

Other people, me for example, have not had hospitalizations or sui attempts or a long-term history of externalizing anger. I don't 'self harm' but do self destructive things. My anger was turned back at myself for a long time-i am only just coming out of that recently. And I have attachment issues. I consider these borderline traits, in addition to other things I have (eg dissociation) but I've never had that diagnosis.

I'd be pretty upset if someone gave me the borderline diagnosis as it would be in my chart and could follow me for life. I don't think medical people should use personality disorder diagnoses. Most don't. Discussing it is different than being labeled with it.

If it helps to label and classify your issues, why not see yourself as having both? I have learned about both and it's helped me understand myself a great deal.

Both my parents used meth when I was growing up without getting too into it, it was very unstable. Both my parents were sleeping with the same prostitute that they hung out with as friends often. But I do have a history of self harm. I don't do it anymore but I definitely put myself in unsafe and self destructive situations. And I'm extremely codependent and avoid conflict. And I don't think I've ever actually been in an"healthy" relationship. I knew I was being cheated on by my ex and even after he gave me an STD I couldn't leave him, until I met my now soon to be ex husband. I am so afraid of being alone (abandoned) that now since my soon to be ex husband has started giving me the silent treatment and ignoring me I've resorted to hooking up with some random guy I meet at a bar atleast once a week. Which is so unlike me. I've got the absolute worst self esteem. All my friends say I'm crazy and I get alot of attention from guys, but I just don't see what they see. I'm only 25 and was married for 5 years (no kids). While I was married I calmed down alot, but did still abuse drugs and hide it from my husband. But since I've been separated I've gone back to my old extremely self destructive ways. So I feel like I'm extremely codependent, but it's not considered an actual diagnosis

An Excerpt From:



Knowledge IS Power & Healing IS Possible!

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Pflower!

I honestly have BPD - but it does not define me, it is just a part of me. Much like the fact that I need to wear glasses is a part of me or the fact that I am right handed is a part of me. These are little parts yes, and BPD is seen as a big part. So let's look at some "bigger" parts. I have had seizures since I was fifteen months old. That is a big part of my life - but it does not define me. I still am articulate enough to communicate what I am feeling and thinking, I am able to live a pretty "normal" life - with few limitations, medication, and doctor visits. I also have to be careful how and where I walk becausevI have weak ankles. That is a big part of me - but again, it does not define me. I can still go where I want, it just may take me longer and who knows - maybe I will enjoy getting there more than the other person because I do so at a more leisurely pace. I live on a limited income ... does that define me? No. It just makes me think more carefully how I choose to spend my money.

BPD or any other label is the same. It is an indicator of what is going on in one specific area of your life, but it does not and should not define you. There is nothing to be ashamed of - it's only there to let those that have the capability know how to help you.

That does show a lot of BPD characteristics, but most are things that can also be symptomatic of other disorders such as bipolar or even some types of depression. So unless I knew a bit more about your childhood, and things like how you handle stressful situations or confrontations or situations that are similar to those of your past I would not be able to even give an educated guess. Most times it is best to talk to a psychiatrist to get a full psych exam, but make sure you trust them to give a proper diagnosis bc they will be asking personal questions.

Well and I guess another reason I focus so much on a diagnosis. I don't have the type of relationship with my parents where we sit and talk about things. We don't hug, we don't say I love you. And since I've had to move back in with them during my divorce, I think we'd both rather me tell her a diagnosis and let her educate herself instead if actually sitting down and discussing my feelings. I know she loves me and cares about my mental health right now. But we'd both be more comfortable not having to have a long emotional discussion about that type of stuff. I mean even thinking about it as I'm writing this, talking about anything emotional with parents just seems so weird. I'd say it's probably been atleast 15 years since ive hugged or said I love you to either of my parents. Not since they started using, which was when I was about 10.

Given all the general symptoms and emotional neglect by your parents at a young age, I would lean towards BPD - but that is still just conjecture.

Have you taken the BPD test here?

PS You may also want to check out the CEN forum here. (Childhood Emotional Neglect) It is very beneficial too to help work through some things.

So far all my counselor has said is that I'm an empath, and said she thought I probably avoid conflict at all cost (which is true). She did say we need to work on setting boundaries (like with my dad who won't quit drinking so he can get his liver transplant). I tend to try to fix everyone else's problems and avoid dealing with my own. Just like when I was a kid both my parents would go on a binge and be up for days and have horrible fights. Screaming at eachother cuz one of them cheated on the other. They'd call me at school to try to turn me against the other. My dad would tell me "yeah your mom said she was gonna take a bunch of pills to commit suicide" or my mom called and told me "your dad wears women's clothing when we have sex, he's crazy". But when I was home I would always sit in between them while they screamed at a each other so I could calm things down when they got too out of hand. I felt like the adult, at 10 years old. And of course I'm an only child, so I had no help. Funny thing is I had the PERFECT childhood before that. They were the head of NA meetings in the area. Head of the PTA at school, walked me into school and waiting 10-15 minutes with me until the teacher got there. And then it all went to hell

I'll definitely go check it out. Thank you!

You're welcome ❤

I am an empath as well, but I think maybe your counselor is confused on what exactly an empath is. An empath is one who senses another's emotions and/or problems without being told about it. This person may or may not be nearby (depending on how sensitive the empath is). The empath then takes the emotions and issues on themselves - often times tries to counsel or otherwise assist the source of the emotions or problems. It is very draining, but it is also not a psychological, mental, nor emotional problem. It is in fact a type of capability that a person either is or is not born with. For example, when I was 5, I woke up from a dead sleep crying and screaming my grandfather on the other side of the country was dead. I had no idea what death was at that time...but I was so upset I could not be consoled. While I was crying, my grandmother called to tell us my grandfather had just died - his kidney had given out. Another example is I was talking to a friend online, she was telling me all about the things she was going to do next summer. I asked her why she wanted to kill herself then... she broke down and cried. I am not psychic. I can tell when things are wrong and it bothers me when I cant help work it out - because it affects me too. The only way to "shut it off" is to attempt to distance yourself from the person until you can "recharge" or to shut yourself down by putting up internal blocks (which harms you psychologically - I know from doing it). It's a blessing and a curse, not a disorder or problem.

Yeah I'm not sure I'm an empath either. I mean I definitely go out of my way to never be mean/gossip because it kills me to ever see another person upset or hurt. The only way I can describe it is I know what it's like to be hurt or sad and I would never want anyone to feel like that. I'm always the one to cheer people up. But wouldn't that be more codependent and wanting to fix/take care of people? She does want to try EMDR, but I just don't know if that's right for me.. and she specializes in it. But with no insurance, she's the most affordable I've found ($125 a week). I've tried looking up other counselors/therapists thinking because I'm completely new to all of this and dealing with being fired, divorce, being evicted from my old place all within a 4 month period. Wouldn't it probably be best to see a licensed therapist who can prescribe medication if needed?