[sweet-salinas]

i've been struggling with my mental health for about ten years now,and in the last two years things have gotten worse and i've developed more symptoms. I started having intrusive thoughts i was sexually assaulted as a child and with these thoughts came emotional overload and a lot of panic. but i had no memories of abuse. more recently these thoughts have increased and i've started having intrusive imagery. i also often see a man standing over me and he pushes my head down or to the side and i can't control it. i've also developed a tick and whenever i see some kind of trigger (normally related to abuse) my head violently jerks to the side. I also had what felt like a flashback where i was sat on the floor as a child and a man was standing over me but i'm not sure if it was a real memory but it felt related to the 'assault'. when i first started having these thoughts i thought they weren't real, but the emotion certainly is, and i'm more and more feeling that something really did happen.

looking up c-ptsd i have a lot of the symptoms, such as dissociation, relationship/trust issues, taking on the role of the savour, emotional flashbacks, also depression/anxiety which i have been diagnosed with.
i was also emotionally abused by my parents, and my sister was raped when she was 14 and i was 9. it had a big impact on me and my other sister as my parents were not supportive of her and she was traumatised. (the perpetrator was not related to our family at all)

i want to get the right diagnosis so i can get the right help. i'm feeling very lost right now. I try and read up about trauma in the form of self help books but i find myself too triggered and have to stop.

I also have serious trust issues and recently broke off with a bad therapist, which hasn't helped. i'm scared about going to a specialist about these problems as i've been assessed in the last couple of years and i always feel like i'm not being taken seriously and it makes me feel really overwhelmed. and like i'm just crazy for thinking there's more going on than just depression/anxiety.

any advice i'd really appreciate. or if anyone just relates and wants to chat.

[reb569]

I've been struggling recently to post meaningful, helpful messages, so if anything comes off as unhelpful, I apologize in advance.

I have CPTSD and it is a challenging diagnosis because 1. It doesn't exist in the DSM5. and 2. Therapy for CPTSD is unique and there are probably many therapists that don't agree with it as a diagnosis.

I am lucky in that my therapist seems knowledgable on the topic, and her approach at this early stage in the process is to help me work on coping techniques through mindfulness and grounding.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with a therapist. A Therapist/client relationship is in many way similar to any other relationship, sometimes you just don't click with someone.

I highly recommend that you search for a therapist who either specializes or is at least well versed in trauma therapy.

If you haven't already, I highly recommend that you read some of Pete Walker's work. He is a therapist who also has CPTSD and has some really great information on the topic. You can google his name and his website will come up.

Finally, I'm not confirming that you do, or don't, have CPTSD. I can't do that. Differential Diagnosis is very important in MI diagnosis, and only a professional, working with you, can make that determination.

Best of luck and keep posting!

[sweet-salinas]

Thanks for your message!

I mentioned about it not being in the DSM5 to my previous therapist he said that didn't apply to the process in the UK. But I don't doubt that complex ptsd is still something contested about in the UK.

I have looked up therapists who specialise in trauma but they tend to be on the more expensive end of the spectrum. And i am currently unemployed and so far have not found one that's affordable. I probably need to look harder though.

Thanks for the advice about Pete Walker, didn't know he had cptsd himself, that's good to know.

And best of luck to you too

Originally Posted by reb569

I've been struggling recently to post meaningful, helpful messages, so if anything comes off as unhelpful, I apologize in advance.

I have CPTSD and it is a challenging diagnosis because 1. It doesn't exist in the DSM5. and 2. Therapy for CPTSD is unique and there are probably many therapists that don't agree with it as a diagnosis.

I am lucky in that my therapist seems knowledgable on the topic, and her approach at this early stage in the process is to help me work on coping techniques through mindfulness and grounding.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with a therapist. A Therapist/client relationship is in many way similar to any other relationship, sometimes you just don't click with someone.

I highly recommend that you search for a therapist who either specializes or is at least well versed in trauma therapy.

If you haven't already, I highly recommend that you read some of Pete Walker's work. He is a therapist who also has CPTSD and has some really great information on the topic. You can google his name and his website will come up.

Finally, I'm not confirming that you do, or don't, have CPTSD. I can't do that. Differential Diagnosis is very important in MI diagnosis, and only a professional, working with you, can make that determination.

Best of luck and keep posting!