[katydid777]

I have CPTSD,MDD, ANXIETY,SUCIDAL IDIATION, and EATING DISORTER. I am working on my issues but some days can be very difficult. On top of my mental problems I have some very serious Physical problems, with 3 bad heart valves I was born with, congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, COPD, arthritis, and a few others. I take so many meds that I feel I am a pharmacy for my self. I have trouble going to sleep, staying asleep, and sleeping long enough for my body to at least feel like I have slept, so I can get through the day. My husband, and brother think I should be wonder woman, and don't acknowledge any of my mental, or physical limitations. The only time that they do is when I have a migraine. My thought, or should I say question, is do any of y'all have problems like this, if so how do you make them understand any of it. As far as my CPTSD, I have flashbacks, trouble sleeping, concertrating, remembering things, anxiety, nighmeres, and a constant daily trigger, from about 7am, to about 8 pm, my oldest brother, whom was one of my abusers in my young life, am I am constantly on guard. He is also a alcoholic, he drinks every day, and if my husband, and I would allow it, he would drink from early morning till he went to bed, but we told him no drinking before noon, and his drinking is another trigger for me. Both my parents drank up to the day they passed away. Do any of you older CPTSD people have triggers living with you? If so how do you deal with it? How do you make the ppl you live with understand all that is going on with you if they won't listen. And by the way, they hardly help me do anything.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by katydid777

I have CPTSD,MDD, ANXIETY,SUCIDAL IDIATION, and EATING DISORTER. I am working on my issues but some days can be very difficult. On top of my mental problems I have some very serious Physical problems, with 3 bad heart valves I was born with, congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, COPD, arthritis, and a few others. I take so many meds that I feel I am a pharmacy for my self. I have trouble going to sleep, staying asleep, and sleeping long enough for my body to at least feel like I have slept, so I can get through the day. My husband, and brother think I should be wonder woman, and don't acknowledge any of my mental, or physical limitations. The only time that they do is when I have a migraine. My thought, or should I say question, is do any of y'all have problems like this, if so how do you make them understand any of it. As far as my CPTSD, I have flashbacks, trouble sleeping, concertrating, remembering things, anxiety, nighmeres, and a constant daily trigger, from about 7am, to about 8 pm, my oldest brother, whom was one of my abusers in my young life, am I am constantly on guard. He is also a alcoholic, he drinks every day, and if my husband, and I would allow it, he would drink from early morning till he went to bed, but we told him no drinking before noon, and his drinking is another trigger for me. Both my parents drank up to the day they passed away. Do any of you older CPTSD people have triggers living with you? If so how do you deal with it? How do you make the ppl you live with understand all that is going on with you if they won't listen. And by the way, they hardly help me do anything.

Wow, that sounds like a very difficult situation. Sounds like you need to set some boundaries . Is your brother living with you? Sit down with them and have a talk, express how serious you are about these concerns and that things need to change. Do you have a Therapist? Maybe he/she could do a group session for the family. Sounds like things do need to change, it's just finding that magic way of doing it. Take care.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Wow, that sounds like a very difficult situation. Sounds like you need to set some boundaries . Is your brother living with you? Sit down with them and have a talk, express how serious you are about these concerns and that things need to change. Do you have a Therapist? Maybe he/she could do a group session for the family. Sounds like things do need to change, it's just finding that magic way of doing it. Take care.

I am a very passive, and yes I do have a therapist. Yes my brother lives with us, if we hadn't gone to Florida, and brought him up here, he would be dead right now. A few days before we got him, he got drunk, and had a major fall, hitting his head. He started having major problems moving around, and by the time he had been up here a couple of weeks, he couldn't even walk. One evening he messed himself, and I had to clean him up. The very next day my husband, and I had to almost carry him to our car. We took him to the ER, they did tests, and he had emergency surgery on his cervical spine the next morning. we were told, if we hadn't gotten him in within the next 24 hours, he would have been a quadriplegic. He does have a spinal cord injury, but he can walk, drive ect, he has problems with his hands, and feet mostly. I would love a group session, but both of them wouldn't listen to any of it, if they would even go, witch I am positive they wouldn't. My life is a very difficult situation, but with my therapist's help, I am slowly learning how to handle toxic relationships. Unfortunately all three of us are disabled, and my brother doesn't have any where else to go. Of course the rest of my dysfunctional siblings don't have room for him, so it is on me. Thank you for your suggestions.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by katydid777

I am a very passive, and yes I do have a therapist. Yes my brother lives with us, if we hadn't gone to Florida, and brought him up here, he would be dead right now. A few days before we got him, he got drunk, and had a major fall, hitting his head. He started having major problems moving around, and by the time he had been up here a couple of weeks, he couldn't even walk. One evening he messed himself, and I had to clean him up. The very next day my husband, and I had to almost carry him to our car. We took him to the ER, they did tests, and he had emergency surgery on his cervical spine the next morning. we were told, if we hadn't gotten him in within the next 24 hours, he would have been a quadriplegic. He does have a spinal cord injury, but he can walk, drive ect, he has problems with his hands, and feet mostly. I would love a group session, but both of them wouldn't listen to any of it, if they would even go, witch I am positive they wouldn't. My life is a very difficult situation, but with my therapist's help, I am slowly learning how to handle toxic relationships. Unfortunately all three of us are disabled, and my brother doesn't have any where else to go. Of course the rest of my dysfunctional siblings don't have room for him, so it is on me. Thank you for your suggestions.

Have you checked with Social Services? Your therapist should be able to give some names and numbers for local resources , if finding your brother a place to stay, if that's what you would like to do. You have told your therapist about all of this , right? It's great that you are working on ways to handle toxic relationships, I expect it is even harder when it is your family involved. I would ask the therapist what he/she thought my options would be in this situation and then got from there. Best of luck to you, and I wish you well.

[SaharaSon]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Wow, that sounds like a very difficult situation. Sounds like you need to set some boundaries . Is your brother living with you? Sit down with them and have a talk, express how serious you are about these concerns and that things need to change. Do you have a Therapist? Maybe he/she could do a group session for the family. Sounds like things do need to change, it's just finding that magic way of doing it. Take care.

Katydid boy do I relate to you! Welcome to the Cardiac Club! I was just in CICU for seven days. I had a continous racing heart rate 165+. They had to burn my eléctrical pathway to create a barrier to the bad pathway, so it would be a good puppy, and go back home where it belonged. I also have a brother who is an alcoholic and is a walking, talking trigger. i have helped him four times for weeks on end over the last two years, to no avail. I'm done with him, for my own sanity, and marrage. No mas. Its very, very stressful, and may have contributed to my heart problems. Protect yourself Katydid, at some point you have to cut them lose or they will bring you down with them. Shalom.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Have you checked with Social Services? Your therapist should be able to give some names and numbers for local resources , if finding your brother a place to stay, if that's what you would like to do. You have told your therapist about all of this , right? It's great that you are working on ways to handle toxic relationships, I expect it is even harder when it is your family involved. I would ask the therapist what he/she thought my options would be in this situation and then got from there. Best of luck to you, and I wish you well.

Unfortunately if my brother were in his own place, I would stop by one day, and he would be dead from drinking, and a fall. I have told my therapist all about my home life, and she is working on helping me to learn how to handle my home life, and working on making time for just my self. Right now I have a worksheet for my daily moods, automatic thought, distortions, and rational responses, Cognitive Therapy just to start. I have so many things to work on, but my therapist told me to slow down, bc I am a do it now type. So I am trying to do things her way, and so far she has helped my thinking about things, but it does take a long time. I have been seeing her for over a year, and I though I would have taken care of most of my issues by now, but I have just barely scratched the surface. I have a long way to go, and a lot of brain changing to do.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by SaharaSon

Katydid boy do I relate to you! Welcome to the Cardiac Club! I was just in CICU for seven days. I had a continous racing heart rate 165+. They had to burn my eléctrical pathway to create a barrier to the bad pathway, so it would be a good puppy, and go back home where it belonged. I also have a brother who is an alcoholic and is a walking, talking trigger. i have helped him four times for weeks on end over the last two years, to no avail. I'm done with him, for my own sanity, and marrage. No mas. Its very, very stressful, and may have contributed to my heart problems. Protect yourself Katydid, at some point you have to cut them lose or they will bring you down with them. Shalom.

I am working with my therapist to help me to change my way of thinking, and doing, so maybe some day I won't be a walking doormat. But she did remind me that it will take time, but being on this site has also helped me a lot. Just being able to talk about some of my issues has helped me to see a little more about my self.

[SaharaSon]

Originally Posted by katydid777

I am working with my therapist to help me to change my way of thinking, and doing, so maybe some day I won't be a walking doormat. But she did remind me that it will take time, but being on this site has also helped me a lot. Just being able to talk about some of my issues has helped me to see a little more about my self.

Katydid you are doing just great, keep it up! i think the advice your therapist gave you reguarding slowing things down when life gets complicated is correct. When things are slowed down it is easier to get a handle on them. Thats my experience. Be careful about putting everything on your shoulders. Shalom.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by SaharaSon

Katydid you are doing just great, keep it up! i think the advice your therapist gave you reguarding slowing things down when life gets complicated is correct. When things are slowed down it is easier to get a handle on them. Thats my experience. Be careful about putting everything on your shoulders. Shalom.

This is very hard for me. My household consists of my husband, my brother, and myself. Neither of the men do much to assist me. My husband spends most of his day in his shop so he don't have to deal with my brother, my brother spends most days on the couch, and starts drinking as early as 10:30. He was drinking as early as 8 or 9, and we told him no more, not until noon, or later. Besides his drinking he always turns the tv to war movies, old movies, and stuff like that. I pay about 150 dollars a month so that his room, my husband's room, mine & my husbands room, and the living room has tv, but my brother won't go up to his room until 6,7,or 8 pm, after he has had all the beer he wanted for that day, then he eats. The hard thing is that the 3 of us are disabled. I try not to complain about my disabilities, so I guess they think that I am ok, so I can handle most of the things to be done. Yesterday my brother pointed out that there is a lot of dust on the living room tv, but he didn't get up and clean it off, neither did I. I think I am going to try to leave some things undone, and see if ether man takes care of it. Wishful thinking... If I don't do what ever, it don't get done.

[SaharaSon]

Originally Posted by katydid777

This is very hard for me. My household consists of my husband, my brother, and myself. Neither of the men do much to assist me. My husband spends most of his day in his shop so he don't have to deal with my brother, my brother spends most days on the couch, and starts drinking as early as 10:30. He was drinking as early as 8 or 9, and we told him no more, not until noon, or later. Besides his drinking he always turns the tv to war movies, old movies, and stuff like that. I pay about 150 dollars a month so that his room, my husband's room, mine & my husbands room, and the living room has tv, but my brother won't go up to his room until 6,7,or 8 pm, after he has had all the beer he wanted for that day, then he eats. The hard thing is that the 3 of us are disabled. I try not to complain about my disabilities, so I guess they think that I am ok, so I can handle most of the things to be done. Yesterday my brother pointed out that there is a lot of dust on the living room tv, but he didn't get up and clean it off, neither did I. I think I am going to try to leave some things undone, and see if ether man takes care of it. Wishful thinking... If I don't do what ever, it don't get done.

Katydid, I don't know how you do it. If it was me, I would have kicked your brother out in a New York second. Hey, I just kicked my brother out of my place. He was not helping my marriage at all, too. My brother wasn't drinking when I kicked him out, I also don't like freeloaders. I also like my privacy, I don't like waking every morning to a lazy sucker in my house. We have so little in common it is not funny. Spiritually, politically, socially, and substance abuse wise we are polar opposites. I like to be able to relax around the house and not have high blood pressure from the moment I wake up. I don't put up with much hogwash these days. Be good to yourself Katydid! Shalom.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by SaharaSon

Katydid, I don't know how you do it. If it was me, I would have kicked your brother out in a New York second. Hey, I just kicked my brother out of my place. He was not helping my marriage at all, too. My brother wasn't drinking when I kicked him out, I also don't like freeloaders. I also like my privacy, I don't like waking every morning to a lazy sucker in my house. We have so little in common it is not funny. Spiritually, politically, socially, and substance abuse wise we are polar opposites. I like to be able to relax around the house and not have high blood pressure from the moment I wake up. I don't put up with much hogwash these days. Be good to yourself Katydid! Shalom.

The really sad part is my brother is disabled with a spinal cord injury. He has a very hard time using his hands, and has difficulty with his gait. He does pay 200 dollars a month to help, and he only gets about 700 a month. He buys all the things he wants, or needs, except food. I buy most of the food, but if he wants something different he will buy that, and fix it for dinner. He was in the Army for almost 3 years in the 70's, and was a cook. He was a chef for around 20 years in a fancy restaurant in Florida. As far as the Army, he didn't get along with his new boss, and went awol, and got a other than honorable discharge, so he doesn't get any benefits from that. So he couldn't afford a place of his own, no one else in the family has any room, and if he had a place of his own, I would be very afraid I would go over there and find him dead.