[RubyRae]

Just curious if anyone else feels the same way as I do.

I experienced a lot of abuse in childhood,but I think the way the abuse made me feel about myself was worse than any of the specific acts.So that's what I needed to work on most in therapy.

For example,the SA I went through for many years was not as bad as the way it made me feel about myself and working through those feelings was harder than working through the things that were done to me.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

Just curious if anyone else feels the same way as I do.

I experienced a lot of abuse in childhood,but I think the way the abuse made me feel about myself was worse than any of the specific acts.So that's what I needed to work on most in therapy.

For example,the SA I went through for many years was not as bad as the way it made me feel about myself and working through those feelings was harder than working through the things that were done to me.

Can't really respond since my history was more neglect than abuse. But I think it could go either way, I can see where the self punishment, guilt, shame would be harder to deal with than the act itself. Though each person may see that differently. I think you are an awesome job at identifying issues and making a plan to address them in a positive way.

[elevatedsoul]

Possible trigger:

i dont remember a lot of times...

i hate my self a lot of times...

i feel bad for myself a lot of times...

i get scared...

some times i care a lot about myself though...
it just makes it feel worse when those feelings go away...
its not often i feel that way... and i can never remember what it feels like...

or what it feels like to be cared for...

to feel trust for someone...

i could go on...

feeling damaged so much, so different... from everyone else...
never being able to fit in... anywhere...
no wonder i feel so alone.... no wonder i keep pushing everyone away...

its like reliving the abuse everyday... so going through it never stops...

[reb569]

I think the pain, fear, suffering of the abusive act, whether it be physical or verbal tends to go away pretty quickly, but as already mentioned, how it made you feel, how it changed your perception of yourself never really goes away. At least that's been my experience. I notice it more when I'm really stressed out/anxious or depressed. The negative thoughts that I beat myself up with are from my father's mouth.

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by reb569

I think the pain, fear, suffering of the abusive act, whether it be physical or verbal tends to go away pretty quickly, but as already mentioned, how it made you feel, how it changed your perception of yourself never really goes away. At least that's been my experience. I notice it more when I'm really stressed out/anxious or depressed. The negative thoughts that I beat myself up with are from my father's mouth.

That's my experience too.When I've been triggered is when I start that downward spiral of thinking and believing all those negative things that I felt and believed as a child.

I don't think it ever completely goes away but I do believe people can learn ways to not let theirself go all the way down that rabbit hole or how to deal with it or pull theirself back out when they do.

Sometimes those feelings ache in my soul.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by reb569

I think the pain, fear, suffering of the abusive act, whether it be physical or verbal tends to go away pretty quickly, but as already mentioned, how it made you feel, how it changed your perception of yourself never really goes away. At least that's been my experience. I notice it more when I'm really stressed out/anxious or depressed. The negative thoughts that I beat myself up with are from my father's mouth.

I do this too.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by reb569

I think the pain, fear, suffering of the abusive act, whether it be physical or verbal tends to go away pretty quickly, but as already mentioned, how it made you feel, how it changed your perception of yourself never really goes away. At least that's been my experience. I notice it more when I'm really stressed out/anxious or depressed. The negative thoughts that I beat myself up with are from my father's mouth.

Thanks for posting this. It's spot on for me.