[MoxieDoxie]

Why can't we leave the house sometimes? This email I sent my T and his reply( I am a personal trainer. I am ok. Not the best). It made me feel better but I am not sure it will solve the problem. He is trying to help ease my suffering with kind words but when it comes down to it I am the one who has to talk to myself with kind words and believe it.

ME:"I do not understand why I could not leave the house today. It might have made things better but I just could not bring myself to leave. All week I knew I had this day to myself. I planned on going to the outlets but I just could not bring myself to leave. I feel I completed wasted this day away sitting here trying to cope. No school and no work and no real reason to leave the house. I feel like a waste of life while husband is doing a 16hr shift at the fire department for paramedic school. I did do some studying, I got cleaning done.........I should have at least gone for a walk but could not bring myself to do that either. Everything felt pointless."

Therapist:"As for the day, I would throw the whole dang thing a curve ball and not try to understand it. I would purposefully make the days you think are going to be very rough a personal day. A day where you plan to stay home, take a warm bath, and pamper yourself. Sleep in and read a book. Go with the stream, if the stream says its a stay at home day then it is a stay at home day. There is a possibility that its your bodies way of saying you have worked hard and need a rest.

You are productive most days and do get a lot done. You are equally important to the people you help as your husband is to the people he helps. I would say more so, because if you don't help the people you help they will end up having to call the paramedic because they have fallen or hurt themselves or had a heart attack. Some people get all the credit and some people work quietly in the background doing amazing work."

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Why can't we leave the house sometimes? This email I sent my T and his reply( I am a personal trainer. I am ok. Not the best). It made me feel better but I am not sure it will solve the problem. He is trying to help ease my suffering with kind words but when it comes down to it I am the one who has to talk to myself with kind words and believe it.

ME:"I do not understand why I could not leave the house today. It might have made things better but I just could not bring myself to leave. All week I knew I had this day to myself. I planned on going to the outlets but I just could not bring myself to leave. I feel I completed wasted this day away sitting here trying to cope. No school and no work and no real reason to leave the house. I feel like a waste of life while husband is doing a 16hr shift at the fire department for paramedic school. I did do some studying, I got cleaning done.........I should have at least gone for a walk but could not bring myself to do that either. Everything felt pointless."

Therapist:"As for the day, I would throw the whole dang thing a curve ball and not try to understand it. I would purposefully make the days you think are going to be very rough a personal day. A day where you plan to stay home, take a warm bath, and pamper yourself. Sleep in and read a book. Go with the stream, if the stream says its a stay at home day then it is a stay at home day. There is a possibility that its your bodies way of saying you have worked hard and need a rest.

You are productive most days and do get a lot done. You are equally important to the people you help as your husband is to the people he helps. I would say more so, because if you don't help the people you help they will end up having to call the paramedic because they have fallen or hurt themselves or had a heart attack. Some people get all the credit and some people work quietly in the background doing amazing work."

Don't be so hard on your self. Everyone needs personal days to just do nothing, and be able to clear your mind. This is a good thing, if you are able to take a day, don't regret it!!!!!!!

[HD7970GHZ]

MoxieDoxie,

I empathize greatly with how you feel! I am so happy you started this thread. I don't know about you, but I much prefer to regress than progress! I also do not enjoy adulting... Do you relate?

I don't know what will ease your conscience surrounding these matters, however, I can say I struggle with this too and I know a lot of others who do as well. I think we live in a world that is becoming more and more narcissistic. Society conditions us to believe we must always progress and move forward, otherwise we are failures, nobodies, etc. If we ever stray from this forward motion, we experience some form of guilt, shame or self-deprecating judgment and it can take us a long time to escape it's grasp. Is this something that resonates?

By societies standards (And societies standards simply do not matter), I am a complete and utter failure. However, considering what I have been through in my life, I can honestly say that I have done okay. One thing I had to learn to do is STOP comparing myself to others; no one ever feels better by doing this. Try to be gentle with yourself when you compare yourself to your husband; you have a completely different deck of cards than he does and with it comes strengths and weaknesses that only you can truly know. If you are really honest with yourself, can you see why you may need to take a day off and simply stay indoors?

I LOVE to hibernate! Especially in the winter! I LOVE teddy bears and blankies and all kinds of regressive things. It is okay to give yourself a break. One thing a great therapist taught me is to listen to my body. My body says a lot and if I listen to it I will feel better.

I hope this will help in some way, I'm sure you already know everything I have shared.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

MoxieDoxie,

I empathize greatly with how you feel! I am so happy you started this thread. I don't know about you, but I much prefer to regress than progress! I also do not enjoy adulting... Do you relate?

I don't know what will ease your conscience surrounding these matters, however, I can say I struggle with this too and I know a lot of others who do as well. I think we live in a world that is becoming more and more narcissistic. Society conditions us to believe we must always progress and move forward, otherwise we are failures, nobodies, etc. If we ever stray from this forward motion, we experience some form of guilt, shame or self-deprecating judgment and it can take us a long time to escape it's grasp. Is this something that resonates?

By societies standards (And societies standards simply do not matter), I am a complete and utter failure. However, considering what I have been through in my life, I can honestly say that I have done okay. One thing I had to learn to do is STOP comparing myself to others; no one ever feels better by doing this. Try to be gentle with yourself when you compare yourself to your husband; you have a completely different deck of cards than he does and with it comes strengths and weaknesses that only you can truly know. If you are really honest with yourself, can you see why you may need to take a day off and simply stay indoors?

I LOVE to hibernate! Especially in the winter! I LOVE teddy bears and blankies and all kinds of regressive things. It is okay to give yourself a break. One thing a great therapist taught me is to listen to my body. My body says a lot and if I listen to it I will feel better.

I hope this will help in some way, I'm sure you already know everything I have shared.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Wow..ok..yes this does make sense and resonates with me. Thank you so much.

[Shazerac]

Hugs to you. I like your therapist. Please give yourself permission to have a “me” day. So what you had plans to go out? Plans change. Don’t beat yourself up with guilt because you don’t want to leave the house. It’s OK.