cptsdvictim's journal

Morning. Thought I wouldn't be able to fall asleep last night. But I managed. Took two mindful meditations for sleep to do it. Just finished some work where I had to stop due to laptop low battery. Just in time for a most welcomed break. Now, relaxing.

There's so much work, so many changes so many moving parts that testing the implementation is awfully time expensive. Until tests will be implemented (one day) I have to do it manually.

Just finished watching a video from a co-national from his time in India (this time in Kolkata), and I checked (like I do every morning during the week) whether there are new housing opportunities to which I can apply. Sadly, there aren't (not that I've high hopes of getting a house due to my age and time on the waiting list - as I said, you get a house when you're old and before you die 😂 ). Though, I've noticed that, for one area I'm now on position 395 (could fluctuate, though, hey! I'm in the 300s now), while for the other, 500 something. In about 20 to 30 years I'll probably get a house, if I don't die in the shelter. 😂

At the shelter. Today was another banger of a day. Worked nonstop. All tests and type of tests are passing. I've opened a support case for the issue I was unable to figure out even with the help of community. Others don't encounter it so it's probably something flagged in the system regarding my account. Corporations: too much power. Other than that, I've started the offline review phase. Will continue tomorrow. Hopefully by end of tomorrow I'll merge the changes in. That'd be cool.

Today I saved 40 bucks. Yay. Well done. Also, I dropped chocolate from the donut I ate today on my T-shirt and I had to change shirts. 😅 No biggie as this Friday I'll wash my clothes. 😊

And now, relax time. Let's gooo! Watching the 2023 RG semi-final between Alcaraz and Djokovic.

Sorry to break it to you, but I'm an ASPD with a lot of anxiety. Lack of anxiety is more with psychopathy (first degree) rather than sociopathy (second degree psychopathy). Same goes with empathy and remorse, guilt and shame.

Other than that, good video.

Well, it's unfortunate. Though, kudos for sticking to the end. Also, RG and US Open crowds are the rudest of the GS crowds.

Morning. Just finished showering and opened a minor bug (but still relevant) regarding my implementation. The developers came back to me regarding a previous issue letting me know it's fixed in an upcoming (beta) version, so that's great. Still waiting news regarding my yesterday opened support case. Fingers crossed.

Not much to do this morning prior to arriving at the library as the offline review takes a while and there's just not enough time to do it in an hour.

So, relax time. Let's start with some cinema therapy.

Had breakfast. One banana was stale. Had to throw it away and clean the cupboard. Will buy a replacement this evening after work.

The pain in my right knee subsided since starting my treatment with painkillers. Though, there's still discomfort and I'm sure that, once I go off the painkillers, the pain will return.

Your body reflects the trauma you have endured, even in recovery - YouTube

In a break, aaanndd what do we have here?

Innovations in Treating Complex Trauma & PTSD
Advanced Strategies using a Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Approach

Live - Online
Thursday, September 5th & Friday, September 6th, 2024
9:00am CT - 12:00pm CT
with Dr. Pat Ogden & Tracy Jarvis, UKPC

Master Class - Innovations in Treating Complex Trauma & PTSD

Today was good. Uneventful. Reviewed my work. After a few iterations I skipped my rule to always start over when I find an issue that I've to fix. It was a good decision as, so far, in the final review everything looks good. I'm halfway through the final review.

Heard back from support regarding my recent case. They suggested I try something I've already tried. So I've let them know. Ball is in their court now, so pending reply. Fingers crossed. Though, my intuition tells me they're clueless. I guess I'll have to find out how it pans out during testing for going into production.

This evening instead of eating the usual vegan sandwich at the cafe (which was closed downstairs and on the ground floor it was full - the tables that were free had consumed items on them, sign they don't clean them up often) I went with a vegan burger. Didn't like it as I used to. The beyond meat had a taste and smell to it that reminds me of real meat. I guess that's.the whole point, though for me, personally, doesn't hit my buds. So, therefore, I will stop going there. Instead I'll opt for the Mexican burrito which is better as I also use my loyalty card and inch closer.to free. burritos.

Tomorrow morning I hope to finish the final review so I can free up the time when I get to the library to work. I'll put in some items I had on my list for quite a while. Yay. Let's gooo!

Good morning. The marathon has ended. 3736 additions and 18 deletions with this commit. Whew! Code coverage dropped with 7.16% but this is just because I'm not including another type of tests that I'm writing. It'll be better in the future once these will be taken into account.

Worked almost 2 hours to get it done this morning. Now I can move on with easier (like always, no? 😅 ) tasks until end of the week (which, as usual, for me, it's Saturday evening).

I don't like working from the shelter as I am working at a window with direct view into the back courtyard where other users.of the shelter go to smoke and for recreation. And one of them is a thief from the previous room I used.to stay in. Since there are cameras. He avoids me. Though, I try to focus on what I've to do. And, progress is being made. That's what matters.

Now, relax for a bit before heading out to work.

Today's daily dose of kindness: «Eunoia: Beautiful thinking; healthy mind.»

So today was mostly good. I worked like a horse. Got most of the issue implemented. Pending tests tomorrow. Not in the morning, though, as I've to wash my clothes and they open the laundry room late in the morning resulting in fragmented time.

I had a few unpleasant experiences today. One involved a sociopath who made sounds (like Liu Kang) while I was busy typing on my phone. I just ignored him and went ahead with my agenda after I looked at him to see what it was about. The other involved my decaf oat latte: I asked for it to be warm and the guy said something and did it hot anyways. They should hire a couple of baristas who know how to handle the coffee machine they've got.

And, finally, the pillow cover that replaced the old one is dirty on one side. The pleasures of living the dream in paradise. Can't get enough of it.

Of course, if you live paycheck to paycheck you may not be able to do all of this .so this video is really for the middle and upper classes.

Also, burnout is a symptom of the capitalist system which puts profits before people.

Sounds like a sociopath with C-PTSD to me.