 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Sep 12, 2010, 09:06 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
how is it possible that i wake up one day numb, emotionally shut down, monotone, and blank, but wake up the next with more emotions then i can deal with.
i hate it. it keeps me miserable. it makes me unpleasant. it makes others hate me. and it makes me hate myself. what is the point of living a life like that. i cant help anyone because im too busy taking care of myself. but thats a waste of time. because i cant even help myself. i feel like i should cry. but ive done it so much i dont have tears left to cry. im dry. and dead. and helpless. i need to just take a bottle of pills. or an overflowing bath. i need to 'shave' or 'iron'. i need to feel something on the outside because i cant feel anything on the inside. im just messed up. im a freak. im worthless. im a waste. dont try and help because im not asking. i just need someone to know im not the superwoman i show everyone. i guess i put myself in this mess though. im just a girl stuck in between the quickly closing in walls i built around myself.
__________________
THeyCallMeAllieAutopsy(:
|
 Gently1
|
|
#2
Sep 14, 2010, 09:05 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((allie))) It sounds like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. Is it like this all the time? do you have a T?
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
|
#3
Sep 14, 2010, 10:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
yeah this is pretty normal but i dont have a therapist atm. i need one for sure though
__________________
THeyCallMeAllieAutopsy(:
|
|
#4
Sep 15, 2010, 12:00 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
allie, it sounds like you are rapid cycling.
 i am bipolar and with meds the roller coaster is manageable. i don't know your dx but it sounds a lot like i was and i was purely miserable until i got a pdoc that found a good combo of meds that stabalized me. it's been good for about 20 years now doing that and therapy about every 6 weeks.i can totally relate how u r feeling right now. can you see a pdoc to start you on the road to normalcy? note i didn't say normal.  lol. i can't claim normal but i sure am a lot better.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
|
#5
Sep 16, 2010, 12:49 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I get like that - I'm BPII with rapid cycling.
My colleagues, friends and boyfriend never know what Jackie they're going to wake up to. I'll be totally depressed on day, take a sleeping tab to climb into bed and hide, and the next day I wake up fine.. It is draining. I'm busy chatting to my pdoc to change my meds, and will see my T tomorrow
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
