Anger issues

My boyfriend was prescribed Prozac last year and I'm starting to think that this isn't the right thing for him. The littlest anxiety and it manifests itself as anger. Even simple things like grocery shopping. If the store is busy and he feels anxious by the crowds, it comes out as anger. I know he doesn't mean to snap at me and typically it only takes a few minutes before he realizes that his anger was unnecessary. But I can't figure out why everything comes out as anger. I feel like I never see other emotions. Scared = anger. Nervous = anger. How can I help him realize the other emotions that are hiding behind this anger? I understand that most men don't like feeling vulnerable but it's really wearing on me.

I'm not sure what to say other than show him support and fill up on support here. I know that isn't a good answer or good advice... maybe talking to his doctor with him present maybe will help...

I sure am giving you tons of support and just know that you are supported.
You will be in my thoughts Salukigirl as well as your boyfriend!

Is he open to hearing you?

Hang in there!,

Crew

Thanks Crew. I appreciate it. He is definitely more open now than he was a year or two ago. It used to take hours for him to admit that he was overreacting or reacting in an inappropriate way. Now he will explain....but after he has already blown up on me. I just hate that we have to go through a stupid fight or argument every time instead of just saying "I'm feeling a little insecure right now".

As you know drugs affect people differently. I have an Aunt that unmedicated (prozac) is a homicidal witch. It is impossible to spend minutes with her when she decides to go off her meds. Prozac works wonderfully for her.

When my oldest son's ADHD medication was becoming less effective the doctor that he was seeing at the time decided that rather than change the main drug that had worked so very well for him for so many years that he would add Prozac because there was case evidence that it would enhance the performance of the Ritalin. Prozac turned my sweet, even tempered, wouldn't say @$&* if he had a mouth full, so into an absolute monster.

It was a horrible few months. I didn't figure out what the problem was for several months. Once the meds were dc'd his original personality returned.

Maybe a med change is needed.

Thanks AAAAA. We have talked about it and he is starting to feel like maybe its not the right med for him also. His health insurance through this new job kicks in in about 4 months so he doesn't really have a choice until then. He asked if he could take some of my Lexapro to see how it worked but I said no. I don't know how they react together and don't want anything crazy happening. Not to mention I NEED them. I just hope that it's not one of those things where he has to switch to a billion different meds over a year or two to find which works best because he has started losing some friends and sometimes when I hear how he talks to some of them I'm surprised they even want to hang out with him, honestly. It's starting to get pretty bad when you combine his anxiety with this new job because there are several people there who make him mad. I just want the fun, happy guy back

Sounds like the med is worse than the original problem? I'd taper off, even if I had to wait until the new year to try something else. I'd rather be depressed than losing friends and pissing off girlfriends :-)

I don't know that he's "hiding" behind the nervous/anxious=anger; do you know his "range" of emotions, has he shown them in the past? I'd make something visual for myself, a picture board or something that listed different emotions and a scene from my own life (photograph of an event?) that would remind me of that emotion and carry around some of the good ones (calm, pleasant, relaxing vacation photo?), maybe make copies/laminate, and carry them around with me? I do that sometimes; have "special" rocks and worry stones, touchstones of all sorts I can carry with me to distract or calm/comfort me.

I was given Prozac about ten years ago when I took them them it made me feel so confident something I had never experienced in my life. But the downside was I got tummy upsets, anxious and felt like my heart was racing all the time like I was in a hurry to do everything I felt manic and worst of all I felt suicidal. I had to come off it, the only good part was the feeling of confidence but the side effects outweighed all the other awful feelings. I am going through a really bad time at the moment well the moment has lasted since Dec 09 I have real bad days and the only thing I am using is St Jons wort. I have to force myself to go to work as I have family responsibilities also I am afraid of losing my job. From the age of 16 until I was 24 I lived in homless accomadation and temporary housing. I remember how awful I felt and usless when I couldnt get jobs as I couldnt afford childcare and the times I did have a job I was redudant. I spent so much time on welfare which my family made me ashamed of. Through bouts of depression I have been working for the last 14 years and am so afraid of losing this job. I am afraid to go on medication again remembering what effect the Prozac had on me. I go to see a therapist this friday but am afraid of that as well as if my workplace found out they would look at me differently and then find an excuse to get rid of me. I feel so bad inside all the time and and crying constantly. I know I look awful as people keep asking me if I am ok what can I say but I ok just feeling under the weather. One person thats known me for year phoned me and told me all her problems and when I told how I had been feeling lately she said " Oh I never knew you still feel like that I thought you got over all that stuff" Haven't heard from her since. Only meant to write about my experience with Prozac but am feeling so bad had to get it out.

Thank you for sharing Lilleth. We kind of got into it yesterday because he got mad about some texts I sent him and when I told him the reason I text is because it's impossible to tell how he will react to anything he got pretty upset. He finally admitted that, while he was upset that I didn't directly talk, he did things to exacerbate the situation rather than solve it. If he feels threatened in any way he will resort to yelling, cussing...pretty much anything besides laying a hand on me. So while he says "just come and talk to me, I will understand" anytime I try he never reacts the way he says he will.

Tonight is a friend's birthday party and tomorrow he has the day off work so I think I will talk to him about weaning off Prozac. I feel like it really is worse with the meds. He goes overboard more often than he used to and when he does he gets more angry. I just hope he doesn't totally stop without tapering down the dosage because that could end up being a nightmare. At least he is starting to express that he is just anxious or nervous and I feel like he is starting to realize that when he feels like that it just comes out as anger.

Here is a recent example. He bought that stupid Halo game that just came out. For like a week straight he played it which didn't bother me. But after that I said okay, that's enough. Time to get back to spending time with me and putting the game down sometimes. He apologized, said he didn't realize how he was treating me and put the game away and everything was fine. Well then he is playing it for like 10 minutes about a week later and starts using words that I really hate whenever he dies or anything. I told him that I would really appreciate it if he wouldn't use those words around me and he went nuts! Started cussing and screaming over something so silly. Then, 5 minutes later is apologizing and totally calm. I just don't get how someone can change such extreme moods so quickly.

don't know how but it sounds like he needs to see the doctor its not a good idea to stop the medication but he does seem to be going from one expteme to the other. To me it sounds like mania only going by the way my mother used to behave. I am not an expert but I am sure some of the more experienced on this site may be able to give you more advice. It may seem odd me saying this as I stopped taking prozac as I am afraid of all the side effects but he needs to go see the dr. Good luck. If I could find something that would help me not feel the way I do with no side effects I would gladly take it.

Could he be Bipolar? My understanding is that the traditional meds for depression tend to exasperate Bipolar symptoms.

I think he needs to go back to his psychiatrist to try some other meds - these are obviously not helping him very much