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#1
Oct 13, 2010, 12:02 PM
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Hi
A few days ago I watched 'The Brave One' . You may have watched it. It's about this woman whose boyfriend has been murdered and this has changed her life. She buys a pistol and starts killing all the thugs and bad guys that she comes across. These kind of movies always bring out the worst in me but the trouble is that I like them and when I see the television showing one I don't have the will power to tell myself , 'Narges, you must not watch this!' What I'm feeling now might have nothing to do with that but it definitely started then. I started thinking about all the violence in our societies and that kind of thing. Then I stopped thinking about that but I still felt weird. I became extremely irritable; I could not concentrate and I felt like every nerve in my body was vibrating violently. As a matter of fact, I still do. If someone asked me how I am feeling right now, I wouldn't be able to give an answer. It's like there's no feeling; or else as if all feelings are cramped in together so that I can't tell them apart. My friends are really nice and everything but they just can't understand my MH issues. I'm angry at my dad for not letting me go on the internet or see my friends as much as I would like. I don't want my mum to know I'm suffering because there's nothing she can do and it would only pain her. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist for Saturday, but I don't know how to cope until then. It's VERY frustrating, but I don't feel frustrated. Damn it! I don't feel anything! Or maybe I do. Oh I know what I'm feeling: I feel confused. Maybe not even that though... Oh God!
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"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King Dx Bipolar II Med-free for the time being |
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#2
Oct 13, 2010, 02:57 PM
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Warrioress,
Some things, movies, books, or conversations can be triggers for the things that are bothering us. I can be perfectly fine one minute and a "trigger" puts me in a horrible mood. Feelings and emotions can be very confusing. The more we talk about these things the easier it is to identify why we feel the way we do....what past event or fear sets us off. If your feelings are all jumbled together maybe your T can help separate them. You are right, it is easier to deal with something if you know what it is  Wishing you the very best. Take care and keep us posted.
__________________
  Noun1.muser - a reflective thinker "A true friend will keep your secrets and love you without judgment or conditions" |
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