[Midnightmoon]

I am upset all the time because the guy I've been with for a year doesn't call me for days even though we had plans to do something. He says we are just friends right now because I am to needy. I just sit and cry and overthink all the things I want to yell at him about. I am so angry and I can't even contact him to tell him because he doesn't have a phone. I just want to be ok when he does stuff I don't like. I feel very used and I don't know how to channel those feelings.

Any advice?

[lynn P.]

Sorry you're upset. Were you more than friends during this past year and do you live together? Maybe you should branch out to your friends and take a break from him. If he perceives you as needy, then you don't want to appear needy. Keep yourself busy and try not to expect something from someone who doesn't seem dependable. Don't let him hold the 'key' to your happiness. I hope it gets better for you.

[ECHOES]

This doesn't sound like a satisfying relationship to either of you. Just friends sounds like a good idea. He doesn't want too much involvement. His saying you are too needy is about him; he is saying he feels uncomfortable about other's needs.

It isn't about you because he doesn't get to decide what your needs are or how many you get to have. You get to decide that.

Do you have a therapist to help you with your feelings? And to help you look at why you value someone who doesn't value you? Why you feel a need to be okay with things he does that you don't like. Why it is okay for you to sit in misery waiting for him to call?