[n2ngins]

I get angry.
Sometimes I feel like I don't love my stepchildren anymore.
I feel like my family doesn't care about me, only how I make them feel.
I feel like I am not worth anyone's effort.
I feel ugly - I used to feel beautiful all the time!
I'd rather be at work than home.
I am jealous of everyone else.
I no longer have ambition - I used to be the definition of ambition!
I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone.
I feel like all of these feelings are wrong,, bad, unacceptable etc.
I feel like I am whining, like everyone goes through this and it's "normal" to feel this way, am I right?

[jstdontdie]

you might have depression like me. you should look into it.

Hello, n2ngins. Perhaps, your feelings are telling you something is not right in your life and requires attention?

[Leed]

Hi ~ From what you've said, it sounds like you're VERY unhappy at home. Things must be very bad for you there. Can you talk to your husband about it, or is he part of the problem??

How about going to therapy and trying to find a way to get your POWER back? That's what I did ~ I felt like i was being swallowed up by people. My husband was controlling, my boss was being "abusive," my co-workers didn't like me because I was too weak, and I was just disappearing!! So I went to see a psychologist, and she was wonderful!! She showed me how I could stand up for myself and get my power back. It doesn't matter if people don't like me -- *I* like me. LOL I no longer let people walk all over me -- I set boundaries. It feels great.

You can do that too! How about talking to someone?? No, it's not "normal" to feel like this. Someone has stomped on your self-esteem!! You need to build it back up again -- and it takes help sometimes. I wish you the very best of luck. I hope you will call someone ~ please keep us posted, ok? Hugs, Lee

[shezbut]

n2ngins,

Sounds like serious depression and self-hate have taken a front seat in your life.

I would recommend working with a therapist asap ~ I have been stuck in that state of mind a few times. No, it isn't normal. You are not whining at all. I think it's great that you were honest enough to admit your feelings! Personally, I always become very shameful when these emotions become overwhelming to me.

Leed's experience (listed above) is terrific! Depending upon your level of self-hate, it isn't always easy to realize that you DO have worth. It has taken me a long time to recognize that self-hate is one of my core struggles. I, therefore, try to focus on today. Now. Not yesterday, and not tomarrow. But, make myself feel good now. (There are, of course, effects and consequences ~ depending upon whether we make good or bad decisions.) I try to make good decisions now, which I can get some positive energy from & remind myself of those positive moments (when I am feeling low). I do come back up again ~ which reinforces focusing on the positive.

It takes time. And professional T is a big help in getting through very tough times like these! Wish you the best...

[Winged Warrior]

I believe I am depressed because I can show no emotions at times, when inside I may be happy as can be or etc. I am really nice and make a great friend, but I believe my emotional and mental stress has led to sleeping problems, weight gain, and sometimes I am angry for no reason. I can put this aside sometimes, but at other times it just gets worse. IDK what it is but its been going on for two years now. The parents are suspicious as are my friends. The doctor doesnt know, and I dont feel like getting into all that, cause it could mean another thing my brother could destroy me with.