I don't know how to cope with it. I'm trying to get rid of it. It's even hard to put down something to say here because I'm constantly questioning if I'm truly sad or not. Maybe, I'm just upset. (Is there a difference between the two?)

I mean, I've been seeing the light more, but I'm not basking in it enough I guess.
How do I move on and leave the past behind me?

Hello, opaquemind0. I believe the past is an integral part of who I am. To have a meaningful life now often requires a serious look at the past to debunk the fallacies, expel the demons and optimize what is left. Life will always be a work in process.

Do you have any idea why you are sad?

[bridgie]

i think we are all sad and unsure at times. that part is normal. with regards to the past. that is what makes us who we are. we arent supposed to be happy all the time. we were made to feel emotion. that lets us know we are alive. if we learn from the past we can live for the future. heres to hoping you see more light than darkness.

Byzantine- I don't think I've taken a serious look at my past. I'm probably afraid to admit what really happened in my life. I probably sugarcoat everything so I can be less bothered about taking the time to make myself a better person. I guess I have some work to do.
Yes. I lost a friend earlier this month, I heard to suicide, and I, at this point and for the most part, moved on. It's hard and weird all the same to think about his passing. There are so many questions that won't be answered.
I'm happy to say, though, I'm back to my good ol' ridiculous life.

Bridgie- You're right. Happiness isn't felt all the time, but sometimes, I become apprehensive. I anticipate the bad times to come, and there I go again, digging a ditch for stupid reasons. Again, I need to look back at the facts of the past, not only the good times (or sugarcoated ones..). Thanks. I hope I see the light more often too.

Thanks for the responses.

[shezbut]

Gentle hugs to you opaquemind.

Losing a friend certainly does cause a whole range of emotions. Especially when natural sources aren't the cause of the death. It's hard not to feel some anger, sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, confusion, and so on. It is hard.

Hugs to you ~ best wishes

Thank you, shezbut.

[shezbut]

You are welcome

I hope that this road in life continues to become more solid & less shaky as time passes.

Thinking good thoughts for you

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

How do I move on and leave the past behind me?

i found that looking at my past helped me to learn how to change my "now", my perspective. it didn't change the past tho. it opened up my mind to what i could learn from it and then move on to today. i did this with my T. we didn't dwell on those painful times so much as to help me retrain my mind to positive behaviors and beliefs. i threw out many false tapes and slowly replaced them with new ones. real tapes, if you will, rather than many false beliefs i had about myself. i still have to watch carefully for triggers that set my mindset screwy but my therapy gave me many good tools to work with.
hope this helps.

Shezbut- Thank you again!

Madisgram- Fabulous! I, too, need to think of my past so I can move on. That's vital for me, really. I need to not think of my past and definitely rid false beliefs asap! Admitting these things to myself though...that's another task. One that might be tough to do. I guess doing this will help immensely though, right?

Hopefully so.

Hugs for all! ((((((((((Everyone!))))))))))

[thine_self_untrue]

Aww, Opaque. I'm sorry.
I am often sad also. That or just numb. There are ways to cope with sadness and ways to let some light shine in. Finding things you enjoy or things that help you relax can make it seem a little brighter and better.
Take care, friend and I hope you feel better.

((((((((((((Thine)))))))))))))))
Thank you so much.
I wish I could do all that I want, when I want. Life isn't working that way for me right now, and frankly, I don't think it'll work that way for me anymore since I'm getting tastes of the real world more and more these days..
I guess the real world has to be entered some time.

Thanks again! I hope to be smiling soon!

[Lilleth]

What get me about feelings is that even if in your head you are being logical there is that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach or like you have a vice gripping around you heart that you cant get rid of. How do you get rid of that?

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

Madisgram- Fabulous! I, too, need to think of my past so I can move on. That's vital for me, really. I need to not think of my past and definitely rid false beliefs asap! Admitting these things to myself though...that's another task. One that might be tough to do. I guess doing this will help immensely though, right?

Hopefully so.
Hugs for all! ((((((((((Everyone!))))))))))

you're so right, change is often times hard and painful but once we get through the barrier our life can really be so much better. my perspective of things has changed. i often said i didn't do life well. today i know for the most part i do life well. what freedom from self!!!

Lilleth- I think confidence will rid that pit. If logic is what you think, then facts will support themselves. Leading with the head, and not with the heart takes one far.

Madisgram- Good for you!
*sigh* Wouldn't a peaceful change be something nice though?

[lavieenrose]

I must be dealing with a different sort of problem, other layers, perhaps neurological that keep me stuck. I haven't been able to peel away layers of old sick beliefs and behaviors. After the decades of therapy, and the awareness of the traumas, family dynamics, understanding the origins of the various narratives that repeat endlessly, I still don't experience a shift, a lightening of the pain, freedom and choice. Maybe there's a dissociative inpenetrable membrane, that keeps knowledge from going deeply enough into the integrating, info-processing, problem-solving part of the brain. Something's being guarded against, or else the neurons and synapses aren't firing. I just fall into the same holes, never progressing. It's incredibly frustrating to see each year pass and no improvement, despite my working for it.

I'm sorry for that, lavieenrose! Have you been prescribed medication before possibly to lighten these problems?
I'm getting this idea that perhaps if you were a honest as possible to yourself regarding all the problems that occurred/are occuring, you could try to say "Hey, problems occur," and move on as best as possible. Make problems disappear as best as possible, one by one, until there is less pain.

I'm sure all your hard work is serving you well though! Always remember that situations could be worse. I wish you could try to relax the best way possible though. At least a few moments of easiness would surely be helpful. After all, one moment of peace can extend into days, weeks, etc.

Take care!