I have no idea why I do this? How can I harden my heart? What is my defect? This falls under self abusive. If I know it hurts to open....wtf do I do it?....what ever.I just don't understand my defect.I have such an open door.I need bolts,locks,screws,whatever.Just keep the door shut.Why do I allow ppl in?uuugggghhhhhhhhh I think I am on the verge of final shut down.I may have a few mood swings before that's final...but I just think I'm very close to that.

[Chronic]

(((Wolfsong))) I'm guessing you probably open your heart because you want to feel close to people, and hope that this time it will be ok- you wont get hurt or abused or let down. And each time it happens it hurts more and more, and its draining to be like this. I have the opposite problem where my walls are so high I cant let anyone in- for the very reason you have described. The only problem is my heart isnt hard- its fragile and vulnerable and so easily breakable. Everyone in my life, without fail, has hurt or abused me when I let my guard down. So I know it hurts and I know the pain

I dont know how you harden your heart. If you find out could you let me know. I'm sorry you are feeling so down.

[lastyearisblank]

It is called empathy and it is really really really not a bad thing. It is such a great gift to be intuitive about people. I think the more you feel for people, the more you want to connect to them. It can be hard to build up barriers but it's worth the pain to have the gift...

[Leed]

Please don't EVER harden your heart! You open it because you are kind and compassionate and that's WONDERFUL. It's just your choice of PEOPLE may not be the best. LOL I have a problem with the people I choose too -- sometimes I pick the wrong ones, and then I get hurt. So I have to be more careful with who I let "in." I can't expect everyone is going to be trustworthy. There's going to be someone who is going to 'use' me or stab me in the back -- people are just like that, unfortunately.

So before I let people in, they have to EARN my trust. I can't GIVE it to them anymore. First they have to prove to me that they should HAVE my trust, and then maybe I'll let them in. Until then, they have to stay on the outside. But don't EVER harden your heart. You have too great a gift. Hugs, Lee

I am seriously thinking it is something I'll have to do....the result is always the same.let them in ....and ouch.But not a small ouch.I will continue to help people but I will never again sit one one one chatting a human and open my feelings.I can help them with theirs...but the door to me discussing my heart is shutting for my own protection.I am just too fragile to be doing this.Things are never as they appear to be.And I want to thank you for your replies.~W~

[madisgram]

just take it slowly, wolfsong. there are many of us that honestly and truly care about you. i am one of them.

[Chronic]

Me too Wolfsong. Hang in there

I truly appreciate you allowing your spirits reaching out to mine.I can't emphasize enough how I feel grateful.I don't really know what else I feel atm.But really wanted to thank you proper....~W~

[embracinglife]

yes, hang in there. I hope that you find the right people to share with. Do you have a T? IF you have a T that you like they are good and safe people to open up to. I know what you mean though about not wanting to share. I've shared intimate things with people before that I thought loved and cared about me and they've used those things to hurt me. So I too know how you are feeling.

[(JD)]

Yeah, it's a hazard of the job (of caring) Be well.

[yellowted]

(((((((((((((wolf)))))))))))))))) you are such a wonderful and caring person that i for one would miss it if you were to harden your heart, please don't, it is not good thing to do, believe me i did it for many years and it ate me up, completely wrecked me in the end. it may seem the best option at present but trust me it isn't in the long run, a bit like using cheap glue, it works for a while then everything falls apart!
i am here if you need to unload, just pm me and i will get back to you (((((((((((xxx)))))))))))

I am trying yellowted....same for you.I am right here if you need someone.((((((Yellow))))))

[Can't Stop Crying]

Hang in there Wolfsong...you are stronger than you know!