shame

How do you guys cope with and move through shame?

I feel like shame has been a major part of my recovery work since I started in Therapy about 5 years ago. I'm still uncovering and moving through layers of it.

It seems like in therapy I dealt with what I was comfortable with....and that gradually grew to things I was more ashamed of. Now my current therapist is making me focus more on things from the past that I haven't fully dealt with yet.

The thing that I'm now working up the courage to tell her is that I took diet pills for a few weeks over five years ago, very soon before I had a psychotic reaction and was hospitalized for a week. I have never really talked about this with anyone. She was asking me this week questions about that time and if I was on medications. I didn't tell her about taking these pills...But the fact that she cared enough to want to figure out why I had that psychotic reaction really meant a lot to me, and I think I want to tell her about it in the future. But I still have so much shame over taking the pills in the first place. I know it was a really stupid decision, and I regret it.

Hello, embracinglife. Perhaps worth a look:

I wish I could assist you.But I can only stand beside you and ask..."Yeah...I wanna know too!"....Peace be with you.~W~

i think we al do things we're ashamed of or unwise decisions we've made. it's a good sign that you want to discuss this with T even tho u are reticent. i found when i peeled away the onion as i call it in therapy i discovered that some of my growth came from facing things i had stuffed away. of course i was fearful but when we faced the fear, shame, regrets etc together it was far more easy than doing it alone. T's don't make judgements about us. they are there to help us. i hope this may give you comfort and courage.

Dealing with shame.....I learned thru my experience that I had to forgive myself. I think it took a while.
...I am not a religious person. I am spiritual though....One thing that helped me was years ago...I was driving my car on the way home at night. I say this because I remember it so well. I was thinking about my Higher Power. I called him God then. I realized that if God can forgive me how could I not forgive myself!!! That was like my break thru. I still think about it and it had to have happened at least 30 years ago!

I think the link that Byz put up is very good. On PBS Brene Brown has a special talking about shame and vulnerability. This show will be repeated on PBS because it's pledge week ATM . She's also written books on the subject.

In regards to feeling shame about the diets pills. You made an unknowing mistake and we all make mistakes. It's not like you deliberately made the choice for this to happen and I think your therapist will understand that. No one goes through life unscathed and perfect.

I find that praying and sharing something I'm ashamed of helps me to let it go. We all do things we're ashamed of, and for me, being able to accept that is helpful. Telling a safe person, in my experience, releases the shame. It may take some time, but hang in there!

I thouroughly enjoyed this! Thank you for sharing this.