Brooding

My mood seems, most often, to be brooding. Brooding meaning, pondering persistently.

When I'm not brooding I'm fantasizing, or I should say imagining because fantasizing is too strong a description, of others on psychcentral of whom I
feel sexually attracted. This attraction stems only from their posts, avatars, and bio.

Some would probably call it a crush, but that's too innocent a term.

How do others work out these predilections into a helpful, listening, platonic acquaintanceship instead of being lost in the fantasy?

P.S. This post itself is to some extent an attempt to flirt.

P.P.S. Don't feel you need to hold back any thoughts. If they're too blunt, then I'll just go off to the corner and cry. Ha!

Hello, In_Doubt. Maybe read the Terms of Use and Community Guidelines? Doing so takes the romance out of most anything,

I think mostly about the posts rather than trying to imagine the person behind them much, that being pretty hard in the first place since the avatars and other information is often very slight so would require a whole lot of "me" and my imagination? Might as well make up, whole cloth, people I would like to fantasize about? Not a whole lot sexy to me about words and difficulties.

Thanks Byzantine. That's been heipful. I think the most helpful thing was expressing myself on the matter.

I see your point regarding posts rather than poster. I'm not sure I can entirely seperate the two at this point, but trying to is, definitely, a good start. Much Thanks.

But you came here in march.How can you be attracted to anyone yet?It is just the 14th now.

First, I don't want to exaggerate the problem. I'm not attracted to the point of hopelessly in love with anyone. Just, sometimes when reading , or posting I find myself attracted to the person without any seemingly sensible reason.

In my own defense, people make judgements of attraction all the time. You or I might go to the conveniece store and see someone we wouldn't be put off by if they approached us, yet see someone else and we would be put off by them if they approached us.

So, any way, for example violet, you have a feminine avatar, you're question here shows interest or concern, which I might take as directed to me personally, and the way you express your self in the question shows an empathy in trying to understand what I'm getting at. Therefore, I could, to a degree, start drawing ideas of what type of person you are and start becoming attracted to this set of ideas.

Yet, I don't really know you and it's presumptuous of me to start fantasizing about you.

And I understand Byzantines point that I need to respect everyone else. You people are not a plate of food placed here to satisfy my appetite.

So, I guess, it bothers me that I can focus on attractions that are unhealthy at the expense of getting any real help with my depression.

Almost as if the only help I need is to want somebody and be wanted by them in return.

Ok,I'm sorry.I understand.

I think your attraction problem is that you have not had a close relationship where you can be yourself. Im new, very new, but I think the whole point of this forum is to get help and suggestions from others so you can feel better about yourself enough to seek that special person in real life. It sounds like you are young and you are being normal in fanticizing. But this is not the place to find a love partner, it is a place to find yourself first so you can find a partner in reality, not fantacy.

I think that sometimes we get emotional interest confused with terming it as a sexual attraction. When we feel an extreme interest in another person's thoughts, the way they present their posts, or even common interests causes an attraction, but at a much different level than what a sexual attraction would actually be.....but it's an attraction none the less.

Yea, I agree, emotional interest is more apt.

However, I don't get emotionally interested with male posters.