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#1
May 08, 2011, 10:38 AM
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So, I'm procrastinating with getting "ready" for a party I'm having that's supposed to start in an hour and a half.
My husband and I have "the" Mother's Day party every year for his sons and his ex-wife and her boyfriend and the middle son's wife and the two grandchildren. This year, the ex-wife's boyfriend's birthday is today so she's bringing a cake. Her birthday was a couple days ago and last week was the grandson's sixth. So, we're also celebrating three birthdays. Did you notice me in there anywhere? I get along with all these people, made my DH get a birthday "gift" for his ex-wife and one for the boyfriend (they have lived together for 8-10 years, the grandchildren call him "grandpa _______" just as they call me "grandma ________") and they live out of town. I just feel so weird; I'm not the "real" mother, feel a bit like a sham/fraud and am reminded of my wedding where I just sort of wandered around, not "there" but just waiting for the formalities to be over, hating being the center of attention, feeling like people were just being nice to me. I feel like the inverse of that situation, a ghost.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#2
May 08, 2011, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
(((((((((((Perna)))))))))))) Wow, that is really something. I can't rap MY BRAIN around that, god bless YOUR BRAIN. Gee, you need to change your avatar to a saint with wings. Not only did you marry a man with a family but you joined his family in every way. He must be a very nice person to be able to allow all of his family to remain connected this way. And you are sharing him with all the others that still seem to want to stay attached to him. And he is proud enough and confident enough in you to show them that he has a really good person that he decided to love and cherish for the rest of his life. So, maybe what you are really celebrating today is not really mothers day but a day where the sense of the word can be celebrated. So, in a way you are in the day, you are connected to someone that is still appreciated hopefully. If you all get along despite all these strange circumstances well, that is something to celebrate. You are not really a ghost after all. You just have to take off all the name tags and enjoy the people for who they are if you really like them and they are nice, well, isn't that what mothers always say, "Play nice now, be nice, enjoy" Open Eyes 
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 lynn P.
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#3
May 08, 2011, 03:24 PM
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((Perna)) - I agree with Open Eyes excellent post. You really are a saint for being so accommodating over the years. Who's idea is it, to put all the this on your shoulders and to have it on both of you every year? I don't want to plant a bad seed, but I'm wondering where's the sharing? Why can't they take turns and yes you're entitled to question where you're valued in all of this. If you're fine with this arrangement, then bless your soul, but if you're not then you may have to discuss this with your hubby, what changes are in store for next year. I find women primarily have a hard time saying no to family and friends.
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 This is our little cutie Bella  *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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#4
May 08, 2011, 03:33 PM
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oh perna, i always get tickled when you post about family, etc. i get lost on the second sentence!!
 i don't know how well we'd do around here without your presence so ghost you b not!
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#5
May 09, 2011, 07:58 PM
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You really are a saint for putting up with that. How in the world did you get roped into putting that kind of shindig together? Maybe someone else could put this party on next year? |
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