My emotions got me in trouble

At work,I lost it with one of my co-workers (He claims I yelled at him, but I said that I raised my voice) - then we had a meeting with HR. Not too long after that, I did it again, but it was a reply to an email in all caps so that is considered a form of retaliation. But I felt that he deserved it because he has a way that he questions every little thing and then wants this confirmed and that confirmed and then questions it some more. Andthen this particular co-worker never has anything positive to say to me. So again HR was called in and as a result I am suspended for a day. So in one way, I'm glad to be away from this person for a day, but on the other hand, it goes in my work file.

I just want to vent, but would also like to hear from others out there.

(((Weezil)) - I'm sorry this happened. Were there any consequences for the coworker at all? Is this man superior work wise to you - meaning is he on a higher level where you have to answer to him?? Did you clearly tell HR that he repeatedly criticizes you?

I suggest you keep a log of any future problems with this man and I hope your job doesn't depend on communicating with him - if it does, keep convo's to a minimum and if you feel he's trying to get under your skin - report him to HR. I think it's fine to be assertive - but if you're questioning yourself, you can pause before you react - take some deep breaths and then re-think your response. I hope this gets better for you.

Raised voice vs yelled at - I guess 1 of these is an objective description and the other reflects the emotion / perceptions of the person who the raised voice was directed at.

Sounds like the two of you have a difficult working relationship, do they have mediation in your organisation? They do in mine and it is often a good way of raising irritations with each other with a view to getting a better working relationship going, even if you're
not buddies at the end of it?

Can you avoid this person as much as possible, or at least limit you interaction with them?

Thanks lynn P,
Yes, I do keep a log, and we are supposed to meet sometime in the near future with HR (both of us and my supervisor) And while we are in the same office, his position is slightly higher than mine. And also, as the administrative assistant, I am required to provide support to all the staff, so as to communication, it has to be a positive working situation, but at the same time, I keep any other conversation to a minimum, which makes a weird working environment. I know that I should have taken some breaths, but at this particular time, it was a knee jerk reaction.

Did you get a chance to tell HR what happened or what happens prior to your getting upset and raising your voice? If the conditions are not resolved, it's liable to happen again. Please stop thinking people "deserve it." I say that because you will find people throughout your entire life who deserve this and deserve that; but if you take it upon yourself to mete out what they deserve you will end up in trouble. Far better to learn how to overlook or ignore or deal with or properly report a situation than to try to resolve it by shouting. I think if your meeting privately with HR isn't an option, then to find a way to turn his actions back on himself, such as "I sent a reply to your email" (copy your own supervisor on this) and/or "I find all of your questions distressing (or time-consuming); could you ask the supervisor because I don't think I can stop to re-train you right now..?" or something along those lines would be better than shouting. Your co-worker is either clueless that what he is doing is upsetting to you; deliberately upsetting you; or knows he is upsetting you but cannot stop himself because he doesn't know what else to do. Take the high road and try to react non-emotionally and keep the supervisor/HR involved in an appropriate way.