[GB52]

Hi

Through this depression I have come to realise generally just how much I don't feel any emotion. It's like I have unplugged it or something because when people ask me I really don't know. Things that should evoke some reaction like people tellling me I am fat or my husband picking fault with me should give me something but I just seem to shrug my shoulders.

The problem is that all at once emotion overwhelms me and the self harm is very difficult to stay away from. There was one day last week where I couldn't stop crying but the next day it was gone and I can't even identify with the feelings again.

Does anyone else have this difficulty?

[itsuno]

I do, well i think i do. i made a similar post: one or a few feelings, at a time, i dont feel but if i get overwhelmed i need to harm myself (for me this is to let it get out of the system and in my case i pounded a wall, i even posted a thread with both issues explained)

no offence but i thank you for posting this, it make me "feel" good kowing that i am not alone

[GB52]

Thanks itsuno
I have read your other posts and share your quandry on what to do. When my emotions are there I can not seem to control them and when they are not there I can not find them!

This is what I know so far... no feeling is a defence, it is less hurtful than feeling and it serves a purpose and it does actually work, so lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater! Perhaps slowly is good.

If I were replying to your post I might consider suggesting keeping a diary (UGH! i hear you say!) but it has a purpose. when you write things down maybe take a step back and look at it as if someone else was reading it and ask yourself "what would they feel?" Maybe then practice what it might be like to feel that emotion i.e. how would your body be what might your face look like, what psyical sensations would you experience. etc

I think a therapist might look at what purpose it is serving and then replace them slowly by re-teaching feelings but in a small way first so that they are not overwhelming?

I will take my own advice and apply it and let you know if it works!!!

[DogAfficiando123]

Originally Posted by GB52

Hi

Through this depression I have come to realise generally just how much I don't feel any emotion. It's like I have unplugged it or something because when people ask me I really don't know. Things that should evoke some reaction like people tellling me I am fat or my husband picking fault with me should give me something but I just seem to shrug my shoulders.

The problem is that all at once emotion overwhelms me and the self harm is very difficult to stay away from. There was one day last week where I couldn't stop crying but the next day it was gone and I can't even identify with the feelings again.

Does anyone else have this difficulty?

Things will get better

[Rani08]

I have the same issues.. some days I feel fine then other days i'm just overcome and want to si so bad... somtimes i'm not even conected with my emotions enough to know why......

[itsuno]

Originally Posted by GB52

Thanks itsuno
I have read your other posts and share your quandry on what to do. When my emotions are there I can not seem to control them and when they are not there I can not find them!

This is what I know so far... no feeling is a defence, it is less hurtful than feeling and it serves a purpose and it does actually work, so lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater! Perhaps slowly is good.

If I were replying to your post I might consider suggesting keeping a diary (UGH! i hear you say!) but it has a purpose. when you write things down maybe take a step back and look at it as if someone else was reading it and ask yourself "what would they feel?" Maybe then practice what it might be like to feel that emotion i.e. how would your body be what might your face look like, what psyical sensations would you experience. etc

I think a therapist might look at what purpose it is serving and then replace them slowly by re-teaching feelings but in a small way first so that they are not overwhelming?

I will take my own advice and apply it and let you know if it works!!!

good luck, if it work for you i will try (even though you hit right on the UGH! part)

[GB52]

Thanks for replying Rani08
It is so hard to know what to do, I mean I have to get on with life and there fore I do but most of my reactions are thoughts and they are automatic I don't think I feel things.

I don't know about you but I then I have phsyical sensations that tell me something is really wrong like a lump in my throat or a metal taste in my mouth. Still my emotions are no where to be seen!

[GB52]

Itsuno

Yeah I know what you mean!!! I havent done it yet either!

[whitneyman]

I had PSC ( personal service counceler) she was my mentor. she taught me even thow we don't feel self harm was because in acuallalitity we are feeling and we harm are self out side because it reflect's what we feel on the inside. I am not saying it is alright What I am saying is once we start to under stand it we can start to deal with it and realize we do not have to do it. Having a Mental Illness is not easy for us to deal with. As a tip for those with Depression when you feel like this Force yourself to get up and go out side and go for a walk. I know ((( ugh ))) but it work's you will feel better.