[liv13]

i am a teenager, and my parents are divorced although i am in a slightly strange position, i havent seen my father in about 7 years by my mothers choice of not allowing me to, the first few years i had terrible re occurring nightmares and hallucinations i grew out of them after about 3 years, he sends letters and cards for special occasions but i cant open them, i really want to see him but i have tried asking my mum and its always the same answer, no. I now have a boyfriend of 7months, he is moving to spain in 1month and i have started to have hallucinations and nightmares, im not coping very well at all, i have bad thoughts and i have tried things, i just dont know what to do anymore having to cope with losing two people at once is alot to handle and its hard to think of anything positive, i just dont know what to do:/

[Direction]

Welcome! I'm glad you could post.

Loss is tough ... I have strong feelings and am very sensitive about abandonment ... my parents were divorced when I was 12 ... had very little contact with my dad from that time until he died. My emotions over that seem flat, but I suspect I'm struggling with a bunch of mixed up emotions.

Knowing what I know now...I would suggest that you seek help from a therapist...I waited 22 years before I asked for the help...

[liv13]

i cant really go to a therapist as im only 14

[(JD)]

having to cope with losing two people at once

Do you see what you've said? You're still trying to get over losing your dad...yet???

Fourteen year olds can surely benefit from therapy. You can ask your mom. If she says no, then ask if she can help you connect with a counselor through school maybe? There are also people at worship centers that counsel, often without charge...do you go anywhere like that?

Keep asking until you get help ... keep asking adults. I think you need IRL support while you're suffering these losses.

[mgran]

Regarding the counselling you might get at worship centres, do be careful. They might be free of charge, but often they're not worth anything anyway. I'm not being anti religious here, I'm a devoted Christian, but having been "exorcised" I can tell you that some of the advice doled out is dodgy to say the least.

I would suggest going through your school. You must have a school nurse... that would be my first point of contact.

I really hope you realise that if you hang on for a few more years things will get better... it will be within your power to contact your Dad, you won't have to keep going through your Mum. I'm sorry she's been so unreasonable. Just hang on in there.

[Glimmerofhope]

Originally Posted by liv13

i am a teenager, and my parents are divorced although i am in a slightly strange position, i havent seen my father in about 7 years by my mothers choice of not allowing me to, the first few years i had terrible re occurring nightmares and hallucinations i grew out of them after about 3 years, he sends letters and cards for special occasions but i cant open them, i really want to see him but i have tried asking my mum and its always the same answer, no. I now have a boyfriend of 7months, he is moving to spain in 1month and i have started to have hallucinations and nightmares, im not coping very well at all, i have bad thoughts and i have tried things, i just dont know what to do anymore having to cope with losing two people at once is alot to handle and its hard to think of anything positive, i just dont know what to do:/

my dad left when i was 5 - i like the above poster really suggest u get counseliing or else u may have abondment issues for the rest of ur life , the main thing is at least ur dad wants a relationship and is trying to contact u stay hopeful - everything happens for a reason x

[liv13]

thankyou for the replies, i have tried talking to people about it but they dont seem to understand, im also not a christian and do not have many places to go, but i shall take the advice of talking to someone in school about counselling

[Glimmerofhope]

good glad u will get teh help u desreve x

[siljie]

You can definitely get therapy or counselling at your age. I'm 14 too, and I just got into therapy--I have a feeling it's really going to help. You're mother is probably keeping you from your dad for a good reason. I can imagine how tempting and frustrating it would be to not be able to even speak to him. As far as the boyfriend, at least you'll still be able to keep in touch with him, right? Most relationships at our age don't last in the long run anyway--but it's going to be hard at first. Good luck, and I hope you find help.

[liv13]

im from the uk, so here it is very different, i cannot talk to my mum about any of this as i have tried and she wont listen, getting counselling would be extremely hard to do because unless i am at risk to myself or others nothing will be done, so really i am alone in this i can only count on myself to change it but i cant
i know im young to be worried about a boyfriend but he is my bestfriend too, hes the only one i talk to about all this and when hes gone i really wont have anyone