[XxLifexX]

It's toward the majority of my family. I hate them. All of them except for my dad, my uncle, some of my moms family, and a couple of my cousins. I have just noticed this recently. When I'm around my mom and sister (which is basically whenever I'm home) I get really angry, tense, sometimes it'll get so bad I have to leave the room, sometimes the house. I don't know where this anger comes from, I just want it to stop. This Saturday I'm going to Florida with my sister and my grandmother (who I also can't stand). I'm afraid I'm going to flip on them because I just can't stand being around them, and I"m going to be around them for four weeks. I just want a remedy for my anger. Is this normal? Should I talk to my therapist about it?

[Mediator]

Feeling is not normal or normal, it is your feeling. I think if somebody talks with T he talks about his feelings. Sorry maybe it is not helpful but I saw that nobody replied to you.

[Abyssal]

Originally Posted by XxLifexX

It's toward the majority of my family. I hate them. All of them except for my dad, my uncle, some of my moms family, and a couple of my cousins. I have just noticed this recently. When I'm around my mom and sister (which is basically whenever I'm home) I get really angry, tense, sometimes it'll get so bad I have to leave the room, sometimes the house. I don't know where this anger comes from, I just want it to stop. This Saturday I'm going to Florida with my sister and my grandmother (who I also can't stand). I'm afraid I'm going to flip on them because I just can't stand being around them, and I"m going to be around them for four weeks. I just want a remedy for my anger. Is this normal? Should I talk to my therapist about it?

I think its more hatred, frustration rather than an anger .. You had something against your family members which you didn't express and it is converting into hatred and frustration .. and now you cant bear their presence.

I started a topic on rage, which is my problem .. you should check out..it might help you..

And my question is, If you are angry at your family, do you express it or you keep it with yourself? Also, whats the reason of your anger?

[Open Eyes]

I have to agree with Abyssal,
What is that anger about? What don't you like about these women? What do they do or say to you that triggers you. I would say trigger because you try to hold back your anger and then you have to leave the room. So something about them triggers that in you. And you have to be honest with yourself about that. Do they make you feel inadaquate in some way? Do they pick on your or gang up on you? Or is it your own perception of inadequacy around them. What are the behaviors of these people that rub you the wrong way so bad that you don't like them?

And I think that you need to sit down and make a list and picture each one and write down your feelings and why you feel that way. Then you can talk to your T about how you feel and the both of you can find out why and how to deal with it. It cannot just be anger from nothing, there has to be a trigger, figure it out.

Open Eyes

[XxLifexX]

Thanks everybody.

I think that the hatred, anger, whatever it is you want to call it, comes from what I've been told about them and what they've done to me and my dad.

When my dad was younger, his parents, brothers, basically his whole family deserted him and wasn't there for him. His oldest brother, my uncle that I can stand, was the only one there for him. I think that's why I can't stand his side of the family.

My mom doesn't really care about me.
My sister tells me she wants me to disappear and die.
I think that's where these feelings come from.

[missbelle]

i am also having the same issues..and age I realize has nothing to do with it as I am much older then you. I live in a community of older adults. Even though I am older I am still younger then some. This one lady bugs me so bad that I am having trouble dealing with my feelings. She lives down the hall and I see her everyday usually somewhere. I know this anger towards her is only hurting me but I am trouble letting it go because of comments she has made and things she does. Its so difficult to avoid her.
Anyway I too would appreciate any comments.......Its not good for me to feel this way but she is always in my face....Probably need a vacation but no money to go!!

Dee

[Umbral_Seraph]

All my imediate family annoys the hell out of me, and it always seems as if they purposely try to annoy me. I literally have no relationship with the rest of my family, and I have to say I have desire to have a relationship with any of them; they don't care about me, so I'm not going to waste energy caring about them.

[Abyssal]

Originally Posted by XxLifexX

Thanks everybody.

I think that the hatred, anger, whatever it is you want to call it, comes from what I've been told about them and what they've done to me and my dad.

When my dad was younger, his parents, brothers, basically his whole family deserted him and wasn't there for him. His oldest brother, my uncle that I can stand, was the only one there for him. I think that's why I can't stand his side of the family.

My mom doesn't really care about me.
My sister tells me she wants me to disappear and die.
I think that's where these feelings come from.

Well, i think what happened with your dad, is not your problem, its his problem. let him deal with it .. Also, you weren't there that time, so you wouldn't know whether your dad's family is responsible, or your dad too played some role .. there are two sides of the coin..

2ndly, why did your mother and sister say that? were they mad at you that time? maybe it was just an anger, nothing personal against you .. You should provide a bit more detail about your relation with your mother & sister. We would then have a better idea.

[madisgram]

feelings are not facts. delving into what irritates you about them may reveal the facts. yes i would discuss this with your T. it can speed up the process of dealing with this. often what we don't like about others is it reveals something we don't like about ourself.
BTW are u male?

[XxLifexX]

My mom doesn't care. She doesn't say it. But she doesn't have to. You can just tell when she looks at me. It's a look of dissappointment. My sister is just a brat. She hates me. But let her hate me. It doesn't really matter.

I love myself very much. There are somethings I would like to change, but everyone has something they want to change about themselves.

No, I am female.

[Abyssal]

Originally Posted by XxLifexX

My mom doesn't care. She doesn't say it. But she doesn't have to. You can just tell when she looks at me. It's a look of dissappointment. My sister is just a brat. She hates me. But let her hate me. It doesn't really matter.

I love myself very much. There are somethings I would like to change, but everyone has something they want to change about themselves.

No, I am female.

Right.

You know it can be your preconceived notion about your mother that she doesn't love you and you judge things on that perspective.

What is a logic to support your claim that she doesn't love you?
Can you think back and remember any such event where you felt that she loves you?

Same qs about your sister!

The better solution is to sit with them, negotiate and discuss your feelings with them and see what they have to say about it.. But before that, you should better relax and calm yourself.

When you are angry at them, distract yourself, move yourself from the situation, read a book, listen to music and relax .. and when you get back to your senses, think of ways to deal with your hatred/anger constructively.. Go and talk to them and be open to tell them that you are hurt by their behavior. This is a best way to handle anger constructively.

hope it helps.