[beauflow]

so the other day was high emotions for me.... Had a family member bugging me constantly for something I could not afford, but yet still caved in. My boyfriend got upset and of course, I thought it had to be about me.... Later we talked and my boyfriend let me know it was just how my family member constantly bugged me with something I already said no to.
During all this my boyfriend sister had made a comment on my face book about a strange dream she had about my boyfriend and I getting married... I of course being self absorbed took this in a wrong way too.... Thinking why would that be sooo strange? Without me asking, My boyfriend texted his sister and found out it wasn't that sort of strange but the content of the dream... I apologies to his sister two times, yet she didn't reply back with text or the post... Sigh now I think she is mad at me.... She has issues with their brothers wife so that could be helping with my train of thought here...

I don't like it, I think people don't like me and just act nice some times. And then I feel as if I have to please everyone. That makes me mad in return.

Sorry if this is all over the place

[beauflow]

never mind :-) I subtle tried to handle this just by asking indirectly- I asked her to please not to be upset and again i was sorry- she text back that she was not upset, just a little shocked..

This feeling here - The one that I mess things up and people are mad at me, is one feeling that I really dislike- just to find out I stressed over nothing. Played out things in my head that are not even true... some times I do get too wrapped up in them

[Leed]

I understand what you're saying. I used to stress out alot over whether people liked me or not, but finally i learned that we can't like EVERYONE. And if people don't like me, oh well. Life is too short to be bothered with pleasing everyone -- it's impossible to do.

Just make sure that friends/relatives don't take advantage of you, like the family member who kept bugging you for something you couldn't afford. Once you say "yes" you'll be an easy mark next time they want something. It's OK to say no. And if they get mad at you for saying no, that's THEIR problem, not yours. If you can't afford it, you just plain can't afford it! Besides, we can't see to it that people get everything they want.

Take care! Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

a wise friend of mine told me, "what other ppl say/think about you is none of your business." i didn't understand that so i asked her, why do you say that? she responded, do u know what is truth about yourself and your good intentions? i said, yes. she replied, then it isn't of any importance what they do/say.
hope this helps you.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by madisgram

"what other ppl say/think about you is none of your business."

I love that saying. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS?! Kinda shocks some sense inta ya.

[beauflow]

thanks, its hard though not to obses over thoughts with some... I'm odd, sometimes I can say whatever like the ''its not my business'' but other times I can't get that thought to come into my mind and it just becomes obsessive thoughts of did I do something wrong, do they hate me, and so on..... Ill try harder to keep positive. Thanks.

[Perna]

I help myself when I have responses like yours beauflow by waiting a bit and asking questions to make sure I have the situation clear. Even if you thought "what's strange about us getting married?" being a little vague and trying to keep a discussion open (say something like, "I think it's nice you dreamed about us, what do you find strange about it?" that gets you oriented so you can see she is talking about "dreaming" in and of itself and you are thinking about "the result" of the dream. Not the same thing! So, since I often make mistakes with my assumptions, am very imaginative and can think of more than the usual situation/response; I give myself more time to see other ways of seeing things rather than going with my first thought as if that's the only one possible.

It's a good thing that we are imaginative/creative and can see different points of view! Celebrate and use that ability to help you; before you accept any one "answer", make sure you have looked at several and made sure you understand how the other person sees it.

[beauflow]

thanks Perna! Yeah that's what my boyfriend tells me a lot, sometimes I do good with that... Other times not so, especially if I'm high in emotions or problems. I have trouble seeing ''grey' areas'' (my boyfriend tells me its not all black and white, there's grey) and sometimes I have difficulty but it gets better with in time, I try to better as time goes on. Ill try to not jump into the bad right away... Thank you all, all good advice

[chelseamonster11]

I over think things a lot too, sometimes my reality gets all jumbled because I over analyze everything that happens and start to think something else is going on... Especially when people don't respond to my texts fast enough. I'll think they're mad at me or something... I'm trying to fix it but its difficult because most of the time I don't realize I'm doing it.