[katielee102]

hey everyone, im a long time visiter of this website. I have never posted in this particular forum but it seems to be the most fitting today.

I am feeling overly frusterated today,I feel like im wound so tight up going to lose it. I hate my job, i hate my life, blah blah. I am 33 years old. Been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, he is 40. The reason we are not engaged , etc is becasue its been a tough road because I am so insecure and jealous, etc. Anyway, so then there is my job. its an hour commute which i deal with as its a job. but then they have us working alternating schedules, one week 8-5 the other 10-7 because they think we are move productive when we stay late (i am a recruiter). Now this is NOT true. I am so tired at 5 even if I come in at 10. with this commute its putting a hinder on my life and yes i have been trying to find new, closer jobs but no luck. I am frusterated because my boyfriend has a schedule where he is home at 330. I get so jealous that I get mad and resent him.

i dont know, this is all over the place i know but i mean i know I want a family sometime but I feel like i have no time.

[Susan Quinn]

Gads, the feeling of stuck is awful, so I feel for you. Many people are in jobs feeling just like you without an option of change. Too bad there's not a data pool where all those stuck in jobs could trade.

Meanwhile, what you can do something about is change your personal assumptions regarding your boyfriend. If you have a diagnosis of paranoia, then jealousy is an appropriate outcome aka delusion. If you're insecure, then you have power to look into that. I asked myself two questions to help me get "unstuck" : 1) What are you getting from him that you don't want? and 2) What are you wanting from him that you are not getting? Your true needs will bubble up from those two questions.

If this is helpful, write me back for the next steps in boundary work. I now have a very successful to the man I once divorced. During our four year divorce, these two questions came my way and literally "unlocked" my life. Happy trails are beyond the trials, Susan Quinn

[Leed]

I can certainly understand your frustrations. The job situation in this country is pitiful. Many have to stay in jobs that they HATE just because there is nothing else available. While a new job may not surface for some time, I'm sure it will eventually -- just hang on.

As for your boyfriend, has he ever done anything that causes you to mis-trust him? If he hasn't, then you might try to ease up and stop punishing yourself. LOL If he's never been unfaithful or done some questionable things, then trust him and enjoy what time you have with him. I know, it's easier said than done, but work at it.

The commute is rough -- but perhaps you can use that time to "unstress" after work, and to "gear up" before work. LOL I used to commute to work too, and the time before & after work was beneficial to me. I was less likely to snap at people cause I had that time to prepare.

I wish you the very best. I know things are tough -- but they can't stay that way forever. God bless & please take care. Merry Christmas! Hugs, Lee

[Perna]

Just reading this book: http://wishcraft.com/ helped me a great deal to take back my life from the job and day-to-day routine chores that had eaten it. It gave my imagination and creativity a fresh start and a whole lot of hope.

With your commute, I would go to my local public library and check out some books on tape (now CD :-) and play them on your drive to/from work. I use to do that with self help and business books and I'd get to work in a better frame of mind (and look forward to leaving :-) Figure out ways to think about your day so it works for you; look at how you structure your days when you are alone (no boyfriend); is there a time of day that is good or bad for you? I remember when I was self-employed and started work at 3:30 in the afternoon and it was great waking at 9:00, well rested, puttering around during the morning and being out and about when others were working but then around 2:30, I'd start getting resentful just as you describe. I did not make much when I was self-employed, I'm not that kind of a self-starter! But you can learn those things about yourself and better help yourself figure out what you do like and want in your day (rather than concentrating on what you do not want).