Help why do I feel like this

I'm having such a terrible day

My son is ten, autistic and severe learning difficulties. He went off on his very first residential school trip this morning. All I've done since is cry. First I cried because he doesn't understand properly what's happening because of his difficulties even though i'm assured he'll love it and I know he will. Then I started crying this afteroon when I heard the forecast for tomorrow is heavy rain and more rain. I have the timetable for the school trip and they had planned to go to a local theme park, persumably with tickets. I am totally distraught that this will not happen due to the rain. I haven't been able to stop crying for several hours now and I'm really worked up. I can't explain why I feel so awful. My son wouldn't know he had missed it. I just can't stop thinking about how much he would have loved the theme park and he can't go because of the horrible weather. Plus most of the activities where they're staying are outdoor ones.

I have been crying to the point of hysteria and I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like everything has gone wrong and I'm on complete meltdown.

Is it normal to be this upset? Is this related to my childhood? I don't know what to do.

In think it all relates to your son, and worrying about whether or not he's going to enjoy it. You want it all to be perfect for him, and I assume since he is autistic, not everything has gone perfect before. He has required extreme care, and now for the first time you aren't up to your elbows in his care.

It could all be triggering something from childhood as well.

I tend to think all emotions we go through are normal, and they often don't make sense. They are some reaction to whatever is happening in our lives, and there is a reason we are feeling them. I don't always know what the reason is, but usually figure it out eventually... I think it is very normal for you to have very intense feelings as you go through this with your son. And I do think for me when I feel something that intensely that it often is something triggered from my own childhood. I don't know you enough to answer more fully than that, but thanks for posting and I hope you continue to let us know how you are doing.

Thanks both. My emotions were overwhelming and really scared me yesterday. I couldn't make sense out of them. My son doesn't live with me all week as he also goes to his father and also to respite care quite often. I'm used to not seeing him for a few days so it isn't that. I think it's about being out of control and disappointment. Like you said Dailyhealing, intense emotions seem to link to childhood. I can't handle any sort of out of control. I'm more settled today luckily but I can't let myself get into such a state again.