A bit impulsive

Well, I know I can be impulsive when something gets out of hand with me, even if it's something little. I just get stuck in emotions revolving around stress and frustration. Today however is the first time I noticed this inability to fully control my emotions actually affecting something with a friend of mine since 8th grade. Sure maybe this week was a little stressful, but not too much, and today I snapped a bit.

Was going to a convention she was hosting and I was starting to get irritated with the driving (didn't know how to get there), but I usually simmer down fast enough, but this time I didn't. The drive, the mild stress of the week, I just snapped and told her I would go home. Went home, got a text from her saying she was annoyed that she paid for my ticket just to have me leave, so I got in my car, drove back there and threw the $20 I was going to use for items at the convention at her. Sat in my car for a few minutes, went back to her and didn't even apologize.

Maybe that was mild, but I don't recall ever being that way to someone in real life. Sure I've done it online in times of extreme stress, but mild stress and to my best friend?

Maybe I'm coping poorly with frustration and stress? Are there any tips you all may have? Any ideas? I"m afriad of this behavior possibly getting even more chaotic and frustrating to others.

(Maybe I'm overthinking? I don't know though).

I should also add that during this entire period I was definitely thinking about breaking off our entire friendship, all those years and the fact that she's practically my only friend, I was seriously thinking about ending it all and never talking to her again.

Hmmm ~ Seems like there's something else behind this. What is it? You said you were thinking about breaking off the friendship entirely. Why?

I can't see how this episode would by itself would make you want to end the friendship. Yes, you were stressed -- and perhaps you handled it badly. I DO think an apology is needed. (unless there's more to this story that you're not telling)

I wouldn't call what happened as "mild." That was a pretty good "snap." LOL No, you didn't yell & scream, but she surely got the picture! You are definitely stressed, and perhaps you need some help with stress. Continual stress can have an adverse effect on all aspects of your life and if you don't get a handle on it, things can go south in a hurry! Many of us need help with it, and a good counselor is of great help! You might want to think about seeing a counselor about it. You won't regret it!

I hope you can set things straight with this friend, since she's your "almost only" friend. God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee

@Leed there isn't anything else behind it, she's a good friend, but like how I handle most things, I guess I wanted to run away. I have a pattern of doing that. Did it when I was younger and still do it today. Not sure why I do that flight reaction so stronngly though. If I think about it I can stir of the same feeling of just wanting to cut everyone off.

Hmmm, wasn't considering that as a "pretty good 'snap'" but I guess it was, I guess most people don't react. I think I was weighing it against my previous "snaps" where I actually did disconnect myself from many other people. But I guess you're weighing in the money throwing?

I wonder if there's just a reason such reactions occur without control. It's like I'm allowing my emotions to take full reign over me. I just don't understand myself lol