Back at my parents farm

It's been 3 years since I lived here, except this time I have no car, so I guess I'm going to be borrowing my parent's cars to leave the house, or at least until I buy my own car.

It brings up a lot of issues. The first of which is that I feel I am going backwards. I've lived here before when I was younger, now I'm back here again. Except without a car this time. And of course I'm 3 years older.

I am far away from my support network. MY GP, support group, psychologist are all 60 miles away or more. I need to be in the vicinity of my doctor because I panic about my health sometimes and I feel that I need to see him immediately. He's about an hour and a half away by car. I won't change doctors; I see him because of his bedside manner which is good for my health anxiety. I guess I can still visit my support group on Mondays, but it's going to be a long, lonely drive home afterwards. I don't have a problem with being so far away from my psychologist.

The only support network who I am still close to is Psych Central, and I'm so grateful for that right now.

I feel so close to tears, and I guess when my parents go to sleep I will try and cry under the covers.

I don't know what else to feel, I'm a little confused as well as isolated right now.

I look forward to chatting to you all soon.

Toilet.

I can understand feeling upset by having to move back home. But nowadays, MANY people have had to do that. It's VERY difficult to make ends meet now, and the economy and job situation are horrible! I'm glad your parents were open to having you move back.

Just try to remember that this isn't permanent. It's just until things improve and you can get back on your feet. Sure it hurts the ego, and it can impair your life some, i.e. getting together with your support system, and being close to your doctor, etc., but you'll find a way around things. The important thing is you have a roof over your head! And WE'LL be here for you!!!

So try not to take it too hard. LOTS OF PEOPLE have had to go back home. My daughter just moved back home yesterday! She had been living down south for the last 2 years -- but that's the way it goes. Things happen that you can't control. So God bless and please keep posting, ok? Take care "Toilet." We'll be here. Hugs, Lee

Leed, the isolation is bad enough from a depression standpoint, but what also makes me mad is that my parents live on a farm and there is no public transport and I have to borrow their car to get out for the day.

The car is only available after 1pm because my dad works for some reason. And even then he might need it after 1pm as well. My mum offers to drive me out in her car in the mornings, but I can't drive her car because i'm not insured for it.

So on Monday I want to go to 0. jobsearch 1. psychologist, 2. doctor 3. support group. I could take my dad's car except he's not back from work in time for my first appointment. So I'd have to get my mum to drive me. But then there's no way of getting back from the support group meeting which finishes at 930pm. Unless of course I just sleep over at my old place (my grandmother's house) on monday nights.

So that's what makes me mad. It's sometimes an ordeal to try and get out of here and run my life from here.

You don't have to reply to all of this, I'm just happy putting this down somewhere to release my frustration.