[Dreamy01]

Okay I've had a really good few weeks, been feeling positive, calm, in touch with my spiritual side, etc. I've been determined to focus on the present and future and try to let go of the past.

Then on Sunday I read something on the internet that seemed to trigger me and I spent the whole day crying. It wasn't related to my past but my current situation - or at least, that's how it seemed to me.

On Monday I had a meeting with someone and issues around that have upset me. I had therapy on Tuesday and discussed this with her. I was feeling violently sick. T said she felt that the issues had triggered stuff from the past and what I was feeling was grief. During the session I felt almost like I was about to descend into a hysterical pit and it took all my strength to focus on t and stay present.

But I had been fine before

Since Tuesday I've had really awful dreams and during the day I have been feeling afraid for no obvious reason. I'm suddenly afraid of death which hasn't been an issue before now. Even my body feels afraid - I'm getting cramps and things and I just don't feel right, in a different way to normal as I do have health issues anyway. I'm struggling to find the words to describe it but the closest I can come to is a sensation of being 'taken over' - as if by fear.

The dreams have disturbed me terribly. Clearly they reflect some weird state of mind I'm in but I'm in a loop because it works the other way around.

I'm afraid of these feelings and of the weirdness that I feel. I was fine and then suddenly all those horrible dreams. Before I went to sleep on Tuesday night I felt consumed by fear.

I guess it's all the more pronounced because I had felt so positive and calm and it's as if the feelings have intensified due to the calmness I had been feeling.

Gosh what a ramble but can anyone understand?

[IowaFarmGal]

Welcome to PC! I'm sorry you are struggling this way right now! I do sometimes experience things like this. I know the emotions are excessive for what I'm experiencing in the present and I know it must be something from the past, but I can't always identify what. I think the dreams might give a clue. You don't have any new meds do you? Sometimes they don't work the way they are supposed to, and that makes it hard to sort things out what's yours and what's bad pharmacology. I hope T is able to be helpful with this and also you find suggestions here that help.

[Leed]

When do you see your therapist again? Why not call and see if you can get in sooner on an emergency basis? It sounds like you may NEED to. I think I would -- I wouldn't want to wait another week or two. That's just too long to go thru this.

Give him/her a call and try to get in. Let them know it's pretty crucial as you're going thru something really nasty!! Hopefully, they'll work you in. God bless & let us know what happens. Hugs, Lee

[Dreamy01]

Thank you both. I'm not on any meds apart from beta blockers (for heart issues) but I've on them a while.

I spoke to my T earlier and that was nice. I'm going away to FOO for the weekend as a niece is getting married so I don't have the option to see her sooner or the money, unfortunately. I feel a bit more settled since seeing T. I haven't felt myself these last two days and the nightmares haven't helped. I know I can ring t again before next week if I need to.

Thanks for your helpful support.