[BatsAndButterflies]

I'm not a huge fan of summertime. Without a car, I am stuck in my house for the majority of the time. I've agreed to be the official babysitter of my new 3 month old baby brother. I get $100 a week, but I'm not sure it's worth it. Every day I feel like I should be doing things. I'm babysitting and maintaining the house, but it's never enough. It's like I can't just relax without feeling crappy.

Some days, I just can't stop doing things. I have to create things or do some sort of project. Sometimes writing in my journal or a blog is helpful, but when that's done I need to do more. On days like this I want to go to the store, but not for anything in particular. I just want to buy things. I need to be saving my money for a car, but that's so difficult on days like this. Also, days like these are the ones that never end. I just don't want to sleep! If I try, I can't get to sleep, but at the same time I really just don't want to. I want to do things! Sleep just feels like a waste of time! When my parents come home or I hang out with my man-friend, I talk their heads off at a million miles a minute! But I'm also kind of on edge, jumpy, and get annoyed really easily. But on the bright side, I'm excited about things, I'm creative, and I feel pretty good about myself! On days like this, I feel most like myself!

However, this is not always the case.

Some days I feel just blah. I don't want to anything at all but sleep, eat, and lay around. I don't want to be around people. I'll turn the TV on, but I really have no interest in watching it. I'll barely even turn the channel. If I try to make myself do something creative, I get a big mental block. There is a huge fog in my brain. I get really sad and have even gotten so low that I've hurt myself, but I've given that up. I'll barely talk to people, because I don't have much to say. And Sometimes I'll have crying spells. It's like I'm infected with some kind of grey cloud disease.

But sometimes, neither of these are the case!

Sometimes I don't know how I feel! I go back and forth or feel both at the same time! It's frustrating and confusing to be like that!

Maybe this is all part of having ADHD. Maybe this is just me? Who knows! Oh Well! This is how I feel about my many odd feelings.

[dailyhealing]

I think I understand what you are saying. It sounds like you have a hard time being home all day sometimes. I teach 2nd grade and am home a lot in the summer with my two sons. As much as I love my sons, I am learning that I don't do as well emotionally in the summer as I do during the school year. I think for me it is the structure, I need more structure than just hanging around the house and such. I try to fill my time also, sometimes successfully. Trips to the park, swimming, other little outings. Not sure it's exactly the same, but I think I get what you are saying.

Thanks for posting, and if you ever want to talk during the day I'm around too most of the time.

You have pretty much summed up ADD in your post I would have a real hard time being at home all summer without a car. Especially staying home with your baby brother and wondering each day if you have lived up to expectations. I go through anxieties when I'm at home without a concrete plan, wondering if I'd done enough... Ups, downs and everywhere in between is life with ADD

[Open Eyes]

BatsandButterflies,

You should track these changes in emotions with your menstral cycles. Women's homones are constantly fluctuating and there are definite mood changes. Yes that grey cloud feeling can be coming from a big shift in your hormones.

Hey you are also getting a picture of being a mother is like in a way too. They can ge bored too when their babies are young like this. And yes, there are times they want to go shopping for something too.

We all have good and blah days, I don't think anyone is constantly "on" and "cheery".

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[BatsAndButterflies]

I thought that too Open Eyes... It's just that the moods seem to last a few weeks at a time. I've had a few REALLY happy past three weeks. I spent money on random junk, got tons of stuff done, was happy, went out with friends, and didn't sleep much. But I feel like I'm on a decline starting last night and today :P

[SlowMoMo]

I don't have ADD or ADHD, so I can't really comment on that. However some things we happen to have in common. I too stay home, nearly all day, every day. I too have times where I would rather lay in bed and try to sleep all day just so I don't have to face the day. I too, even though it is rather embarrassing to admit, have had times when there were tears rolling down my cheeks for reasons I wasn't sure of.

I always just thought it was depression. Something that I have been dealing with for a while. Perhaps you are feeling depressed? Being home all the time, and feeling stuck, unable to get out during the day, probably has an impact on you. Perhaps you should talk about getting those wages raised. It sounds like you have a full time job, at part time job wages. If they deny your raise maybe see if you can get some days off to compensate?

If you ever find yourself feeling bad, or just plain bored. I am usually around. I have AIM or Skype if you ever want to talk. I am not the best talker, but I think of myself as an amazing listener. I hope you feel better.

[BatsAndButterflies]

I get really sad sometimes. I just find it odd that my moods will last for a few weeks at a time. :/

You should definitely add me on skype! My skype name is on my page on here.

[SlowMoMo]

Okie Dokie, I did. ><

[BatsAndButterflies]

YAY! hehehee

[DepressedKid]

Originally Posted by BatsAndButterflies

I'm not a huge fan of summertime. Without a car, I am stuck in my house for the majority of the time. I've agreed to be the official babysitter of my new 3 month old baby brother. I get $100 a week, but I'm not sure it's worth it. Every day I feel like I should be doing things. I'm babysitting and maintaining the house, but it's never enough. It's like I can't just relax without feeling crappy.

Some days, I just can't stop doing things. I have to create things or do some sort of project. Sometimes writing in my journal or a blog is helpful, but when that's done I need to do more. On days like this I want to go to the store, but not for anything in particular. I just want to buy things. I need to be saving my money for a car, but that's so difficult on days like this. Also, days like these are the ones that never end. I just don't want to sleep! If I try, I can't get to sleep, but at the same time I really just don't want to. I want to do things! Sleep just feels like a waste of time! When my parents come home or I hang out with my man-friend, I talk their heads off at a million miles a minute! But I'm also kind of on edge, jumpy, and get annoyed really easily. But on the bright side, I'm excited about things, I'm creative, and I feel pretty good about myself! On days like this, I feel most like myself!

However, this is not always the case.

Some days I feel just blah. I don't want to anything at all but sleep, eat, and lay around. I don't want to be around people. I'll turn the TV on, but I really have no interest in watching it. I'll barely even turn the channel. If I try to make myself do something creative, I get a big mental block. There is a huge fog in my brain. I get really sad and have even gotten so low that I've hurt myself, but I've given that up. I'll barely talk to people, because I don't have much to say. And Sometimes I'll have crying spells. It's like I'm infected with some kind of grey cloud disease.

But sometimes, neither of these are the case!

Sometimes I don't know how I feel! I go back and forth or feel both at the same time! It's frustrating and confusing to be like that!

Maybe this is all part of having ADHD. Maybe this is just me? Who knows! Oh Well! This is how I feel about my many odd feelings.

I know that same feeling. I try to understand my feelings as well. But it just seems like I can't. And I to have cry spells, but I try to hold them in; which doesn't make it any better. But try and keep trying. I know things will get better for you. Even though I get confused about certain things like dealing with my feelings, I still try to smile so that I can think about being happy.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by BatsAndButterflies

I'm not a huge fan of summertime. Without a car, I am stuck in my house for the majority of the time. I've agreed to be the official babysitter of my new 3 month old baby brother. I get $100 a week, but I'm not sure it's worth it. Every day I feel like I should be doing things. I'm babysitting and maintaining the house, but it's never enough. It's like I can't just relax without feeling crappy.

Some days, I just can't stop doing things. I have to create things or do some sort of project. Sometimes writing in my journal or a blog is helpful, but when that's done I need to do more. On days like this I want to go to the store, but not for anything in particular. I just want to buy things. I need to be saving my money for a car, but that's so difficult on days like this. Also, days like these are the ones that never end. I just don't want to sleep! If I try, I can't get to sleep, but at the same time I really just don't want to. I want to do things! Sleep just feels like a waste of time! When my parents come home or I hang out with my man-friend, I talk their heads off at a million miles a minute! But I'm also kind of on edge, jumpy, and get annoyed really easily. But on the bright side, I'm excited about things, I'm creative, and I feel pretty good about myself! On days like this, I feel most like myself!

However, this is not always the case.

Some days I feel just blah. I don't want to anything at all but sleep, eat, and lay around. I don't want to be around people. I'll turn the TV on, but I really have no interest in watching it. I'll barely even turn the channel. If I try to make myself do something creative, I get a big mental block. There is a huge fog in my brain. I get really sad and have even gotten so low that I've hurt myself, but I've given that up. I'll barely talk to people, because I don't have much to say. And Sometimes I'll have crying spells. It's like I'm infected with some kind of grey cloud disease.

But sometimes, neither of these are the case!

Sometimes I don't know how I feel! I go back and forth or feel both at the same time! It's frustrating and confusing to be like that!

Maybe this is all part of having ADHD. Maybe this is just me? Who knows! Oh Well! This is how I feel about my many odd feelings.

I don't know a lot about ADHD but the spending, not sleeping and need to create could also be one of the many forms of bipolar. If you have a Pdoc that does your medicines for the AdHD maybe you could just print this list of feelings and let him/her read it and go from there. It could just be being twenty too! The brain is still growing and life for most people is great at 20. Keep writing. You have a wonderful way with words.