Ups and Downs

It's been a while since I posted anything. A lot of things have been going on. No matter how hard I try to focus on things getting better, something else happens to bring me back down. My job is not going so well. I have had customers yell at me for no reason at all. I've had co-workers yell at me for wanting to take a break. And today, I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription and all of a sudden I was feeling dizzy. Because of that, I had to call out sick to work 15 minutes before my shift because I didn't want to take the chance of passing out at work. And because of that, the assistant manager, which I talked to on the phone, basically yelled at me even though I offered to come in a couple hours later. Now I'm really scared that I'm going to lose my job now. I just don't know what to do anymore at this point. Part of me feels like that I need to quit my job because it really is becoming too much for me to handle right now. I have been at this job for nearly 10 years now off and on and I very rarely call in sick. In fact, other than missing a month of work back in February for health reasons, this is the first time that I called out sick in since January. Before my mental illness diagnosis of panic disorder, ptsd, and major depression, I have always gone into work whenever they called me. I'm really worried and scared that I'm going to out of a job for calling sick to work so close to the start of my shift. I'm trying not to focus so much on this, but I can't help it, it's constantly there in the back of my mind. :-(

I am happy you came back! Well, from the sounds of it, your job is incredibly stressful, and you should definitely evaluate whether this position is the right one for you. 10 years, off and on, is still an incredibly long time, but if you are getting yelled at, feeling mistreated, and being under-appreciated, it may be in your best interests to find a job that you are excited to go to every day. Work is work, but you deserve to be happy, treated with kindness and respect, and feel good about the position that you have. I know I am a sensitive person and would be devastated if I had to put up with a handful of the days you have had, so I can't imagine what you are going through.

I would meet with a therapist and talk out your options with someone. You shouldn't feel trapped; there are always choices to help make things better, even if you do want to continue working at this company. I will keep you in my prayers!

I do see a therapist once a week
since I was in the hospital in February. So she knows what's been going on at work. I don't hold anything back, so she knows everything. She suggested maybe cutting my hours back to 20-24. But I need at least 30 hrs to pay my bills, which is what I'm working right now. I honestly don't think that I can work there anymore. It really is becoming too much for me. I want to find another job, but just can't seem to find the time to do it. And it doesn't help that my depression has been out of control for most of August. I just started some new medication for it too this past week. Right now, I just feel like giving up the fight altogether. I'm staying at my mom's tonight only because I don't think that I should be alone. I just wish I could these emotions better. Sometimes I feel like that it's better to have no emotions at all than it is to have one single emotion.

I really could use a friend to talk to tonight too.

If you want to PM me at any time, I am here for you. If I don't respond immediately, it's because I'm working on homework, but I would love to listen if you need someone! You are not alone. I am so happy that you are at your mom's house to unwind. That's such a smart idea!

PC...I feel ya, as I have hardly been able to keep a steady job at all. I have also come to the conclusion that there is almost always going to be something there to drag me down. I guess this is life. I think accepting that and tying to decide that you will handle it as calmly and as positively as you can helps. I listen to a lot of Wayne Dyer and one of my favorite quotes of his is "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". {HUGS}

I agree with the above... start by getting a therapist. it sounds like your job is too much right now, at I think talking about it will really be benificial. Curious, when they gave you the diagnoses, did they recomend any further investigation? medication? Talk therapy?

I'm on three different medications for depression and anxiety. Two of them I just recently started and other one I had increased.

Thanks. But I'm not sure how to pm someone from this website. Otherwise I would like to chat.

Thanks sunshine. I would like to chat but I'm not sure how to pm someone from this website.

Hey PC_Student 34. You can click on a user's name in blue and a list will appear of ways to interact with a person. You can select "send *user* a private message", and then it will take you to the proper page.

Hope that helps! Thinking of you love.