[Puffyprue]

recently ive been having flashback that make me suddenly cry and idk why, sometimes this flashback coming even when iam talking to people and all of sudden the tears glistened from my eyes and i feel incredibly sad and i need to loked away or pretending doing something else so no none noticed.. and i dont know why

i dont know its simply because lately i cry so easily or i just feel hurts tonight i cant stop crying, and now everyone seen me cries and wondering why, i lived in very small village we dont have much public transportation here, and since i cant drive a manual car or ride a bike the only way i could get out from this house if someone give me a ride

begging someone to help me its really big thing for me i dont want become a burden to anyone so whole my life iam trying my best to do everything i could so i dont need asking for help
but theres a few thing i really cant do it and have to swallow my pride and asked for help but its hurts a lot when u asked for help and people said that you are a burden
i really do hope i could drive, i could move my legs so i cant do everything like everyone else

i need to stop crying, i hate people seeing me cries because no one understand how i feel, people might think iam such a bratt just because i dont get what i wanted i cry like a kid, its not that its more than that, its hurt my pride because iam limited i cant even do simple things and became a burden to people

i dont know what iam talking about, i think i just need to vent because i feel hurts ..really really hurts

[Leed]

Bless your heart. It's horribly cruel when people tell you that you're a burden! I don't understand why anyone would say that to you when you can't do certain things.

May I ask what is wrong with your legs? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

I'm disabled too, so I know what its like when friends just dump you because you can't do certain things. It hurts -- I guess they feel we're a useless clump of humanity, but just because we can't do certain things doesn't mean that we can't still FEEL -- we hurt and have feelings, and the things they do are hurtful and cruel. I guess they just don't see that because they've never been in our "shoes."

Have you tried therapy? It has done me a world of good to help me accept the way I am, and to help me accept that people are always good. There ARE some insensitive people out there who just don't THINK. I don't believe they all TRY to be cruel -- It's just a matter of not THINKING about what they do, and that's why it seems so cruel. It's almost like they're immature and little kids -- they're too busy having fun to realize they've hurt someone.

Like I said, perhaps therapy would help you. You might call a good therapist and get an appointment. I dont think you'll regret it.

Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Setso]

puffy hang in there

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[IowaFarmGal]

(((((Hugs puffyprue))))) I hope things are going better today!

[junkDNA]

i have flash backs too.
i try to ground myself thru:

a guided meditation that i wrote.
sensory grounding.
progressive muscle relaxation.

[TerryL]

Puffyprue, may I ask if you are able to use your arms/hands? (you don't have to answer if you don't want to) I know cars can be retrofitted to be driven with them solely. Just an idea...

[Puffyprue]

Hi all thanks for all responses
i had polio when i was 4 since then i cant walk normally ever again , i can walk but i cant raised my legs ( my doctor said its miracle since i still can walk because to be able to walk you should be able to raised or make a move your legs but i cant), i have problem with balance so i fell so easily even strong wind can make me fell .. silly i knnow , and since i became older my condition became worst i develoved hyper lordosis ( very hyper)

i no longer on theraphy because its not working.. everyone just expect me to accept thhing as they are......and for me words fate its not enough explanation ... iam often wondering .. would they be able to accept thing as they were if they through the same thing as me?
its always easier to talk then done ...

i think iam lucky since my condition hasnt affected my upper body so i depend on my hands a lot, i can drive automatic car but i no longer have a car because i had worst accident twice , now because iam broke i have to stay with my parent and we lived in small village and i never get out from house if no one take me out ( no public transportation).. and its kinda sucks when everytime you have to go somewhere you have to beg someone to take you there but again nothing i can do much unless to accept this until i have enough money to move out

and about my flashback.. idk what this all about but its also sucks because i cry everywhere , even in the middle funny conversation ... i hate cry in front people coz i cant explain why iam crying and its embarassing

well after all this is what people called ... LIFE

[TerryL]

My father had polio but he was lucky in that he could walk. He just had one leg thinner than the other. I'm sorry about your condition. Too bad physical therapy has not helped. Do you get any exercise? How about acupuncture or massage? Not sure if they would be available where you live though...

As for your flashback, if it is a sad memory I can understand why it would make you cry...on top of how depressing it is to be stuck at home...(((Hugs)))

((((puffy))))

[Puffyprue]

Originally Posted by TerryL

My father had polio but he was lucky in that he could walk. He just had one leg thinner than the other. I'm sorry about your condition. Too bad physical therapy has not helped. Do you get any exercise? How about acupuncture or massage? Not sure if they would be available where you live though...

As for your flashback, if it is a sad memory I can understand why it would make you cry...on top of how depressing it is to be stuck at home...(((Hugs)))

hi terry iam sorry about your father he might had mild polio, i had paralytic polio and left me with this severe dissability.. iam still lucky ( thats what people said) iam still alive
accupunture and massage has helped with the pain but right now i cant afford that

the funny thing about my flash back i dont know what is all about, its just make me profoundly sad

[horsecab]

Originally Posted by puffyprue

hi terry iam sorry about your father he might had mild polio, i had paralytic polio and left me with this severe dissability.. iam still lucky ( thats what people said) iam still alive
accupunture and massage has helped with the pain but right now i cant afford that

the funny thing about my flash back i dont know what is all about, its just make me profoundly sad

Maybe you could find a polio support group online. You could talk directly to people who know what it's like. There must be something out there to help.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Puffy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[TerryL]

Originally Posted by puffyprue

i can walk but i cant raised my legs ( my doctor said its miracle since i still can walk because to be able to walk you should be able to raised or make a move your legs but i cant), i have problem with balance so i fell so easily even strong wind can make me fell ..

Do you walk inside your house? As for outside, have you considered a mobility aid of some sort?

[Puffyprue]

Originally Posted by horsecab

Maybe you could find a polio support group online. You could talk directly to people who know what it's like. There must be something out there to help.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Puffy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

ive tried that before but most people had mild case, but thats not the problem i have trouble with real life , thanks tho for the suggestion

((((horsey)))

[Puffyprue]

Originally Posted by horsecab

Maybe you could find a polio support group online. You could talk directly to people who know what it's like. There must be something out there to help.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Puffy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Originally Posted by TerryL

Do you walk inside your house? As for outside, have you considered a mobility aid of some sort?

I can walk not as much as normal people and get tired so easily and i just need to watch my steps carefully, use the right sandals and ect, i might be slow and having a problem with stairs if theres no banister but i can walk

My doctor telling me i supposed to use wheelchair to prevent my lordosis getting worst but i didnt do it well not everyday (very rare), here where i lived we dont have so much facilities for disabled people so iots gonna make it more hard i guess but i used wheelchair sometimes if needed, i also have walking stick but also never use it much.. i dont knnoiw what iam trying to prove *sigh*

i'll be fine i think, i just get so emotional sometimes, and when i posted this in was sad and hurt but now iam okay

[Setso]

puffy, you are a brave, strong and wonderful person.



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[TerryL]

Originally Posted by puffyprue

I can walk not as much as normal people and get tired so easily and i just need to watch my steps carefully, use the right sandals and ect, i might be slow and having a problem with stairs if theres no banister but i can walk

My doctor telling me i supposed to use wheelchair to prevent my lordosis getting worst but i didnt do it well not everyday (very rare), here where i lived we dont have so much facilities for disabled people so iots gonna make it more hard i guess but i used wheelchair sometimes if needed, i also have walking stick but also never use it much.. i dont knnoiw what iam trying to prove *sigh*

i'll be fine i think, i just get so emotional sometimes, and when i posted this in was sad and hurt but now iam okay

It must be hard especially when there are not a lot of facilities for disabled people. We in the US take that for granted. My mother, who had a bad knee, never liked using her cane either. She used to use her umbrella instead but that wasn't very stable.. and I have a friend who uses a 3-wheeled walker. It is so easy to maneuver but it is bulky... Anyways, I am glad you are feeling better.

[horsecab]

Originally Posted by puffyprue

I can walk not as much as normal people and get tired so easily and i just need to watch my steps carefully, use the right sandals and ect, i might be slow and having a problem with stairs if theres no banister but i can walk

My doctor telling me i supposed to use wheelchair to prevent my lordosis getting worst but i didnt do it well not everyday (very rare), here where i lived we dont have so much facilities for disabled people so iots gonna make it more hard i guess but i used wheelchair sometimes if needed, i also have walking stick but also never use it much.. i dont knnoiw what iam trying to prove *sigh*

i'll be fine i think, i just get so emotional sometimes, and when i posted this in was sad and hurt but now iam okay

Remember you always have PC when you need support ((((((((((Puffy)))))))