Stressed

I'm feeling overwhelmed this morning. I'm worrying about my relationships. The kids were difficult getting up. I suprisingly woke up without a problem. The sadness hit in the shower. I don't like being so emotional. I wish I could be more thick skinned and brush off being abandoned and used. While I'm trying to come to terms with the abrupt end of an affair, without being told it ended, and dealing with my emotions the kids are pushing me to the limit. I'm getting easily irrated with them, then I feel bad for yelling and cussing. Then I cry and they see all this. I am doing to them exactly what my mom did to me and I hate myself for it. I know I need counseling and therapy. I worry about becoming a teacher with my emotions being all over the place and unstable. I feel a pysical pain insided my chest and stomach. I know eventually I will get over the loss of this "relationship", but right now trying to get over and deal with it is nearly impossible because I have had no closure. I know I need to accept I probably will never have closure, but I don't know where to start the healing process.

Since you had no closure on your relationship, write a letter. Tell him all that yoi are feeling and I all that you regret. Get it all down. When it is done, burn it. Then let it go. You had your say and can move on. Really need to see about a therapist though. That would help the most.

I'm very glad you are here and posting! It's a wonderful start to recovering and learning how to changing your life into something you will feel good about! I hope to keep hearing from you on here, we are all here to help with whatever you need.

Hi my friend. The writing of the letter is a GOOD way to get closure. You can get all your feeliings out on paper, and after you're burned the letter it gives you a sense of peace, believe it or not. It's almost like you had the last word.

YOu still DO need to talk to a therapist tho, as there are some issues that will come up that aren't taken care of. So please talk with your doctor and have him refer you to a good therapist. He'll know who to send you to. And believe me, you won't regret it!

And keep posting here too. We'll be here for you. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee. Hugs, Lee

The sense of being in limbo is the worst part about a relationship which ends with no closure. My gf left me out of the blue; ending us by phone. My kids run rings round me too. They're 16 and 11 so there's lots of school pressures (exams etc). While I'm busy attending to them, things are not too bad but the realisation she's gone usually hits randomly and unexpectedly. I'm reduced to tears at least twice most days and she's been gone almost 4 months now.

Letters can help. My computer is littered with them. None of which will ever get sent. And therapy is helping to a degree. But I'm fast coming to the realisation that it's my own stuff holding me back; stopping me from healing. I can choose to let the memory of her mess with my head or I can choose to not let it affect me so hard. Easier said than done because of the myriad of unanswered questions I have. Questions she is never going to answer. But I guess time will do its best to level things out. And in the meantime, I try to enjoy my children because this time with them is precious too. Once it's gone, there's no getting it back again.

I hope you find the strength to get some counselling. You're right. You DO need to be in a strong frame of mind to teach a classroom full of children but it's all about baby steps. One thing at a time else you'll implode from the enormity of it all.

I'm new to PC and people here have been so lovely to me

Yes....relationships....all relationships require tack and sensitivity to the moment.

Good luck with the Son.

Thank you and welcome. Your post brought a smile to my face. You are so right on so many levels. One day at a time. Baby steps. The people here are friendly and most are encouraging. I'm new myself

Thank you Leed, love your positivity

Yes, it helps in recovery very much to post. Thank you

For some reason, I'm not quite sure, burning old memories helps tremendously! Thank you for your support