[Hatter08]

Something just clicked in my head and it's making me want to be violent again. I want people to be scared of me. I'm tired of being pushed around. I'm tired of others pushing people around. I think my sister may be being hurt by someone and if I find out that's true, I don't know what's going to happen. I can't stand this! I'm so sick to my stomach that I can barely stand it so I go out for a walk and these guys start threatening me for no reason! Now everyone around me is so ticked off for the stupidest things1 oh, the house isn't as clean as I want it. Oh, I didn't get to go hang out with my friends! This doesn't make any sensE!

[Leed]

Take a deep breath. Calm yourself. You DON'T want to do anything that you'll be sorry for, do you? I don't think so. Just rest for awhile and think things over quietly.

These anger "attacks" aren't normal, and you need to see someone about them. Can you see a therapist? YOu really need to talk to someone. And you should do it before something happens. I don't want to see you get arrested or anythiing like that!!! I know you're tired of being walked on but this isn't the way to do things. You cannot "go off" on people. I'm sure you know that.

Please call your doctor tomorrow about getting a referral to a therapist. The sooner you can get in the better. Make ssre he knows that you have to get in SOON. I wish you the very best! Please let us know what happens will you?? God bless, Hatter and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Hatter08]

I'm trying but I don't currently even have access to a medical doctor, I'm flat broke, and can't seem to get a job. It's like fate (if there is such a thing) is completely working against me to my downfall and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I just, I don't get it. I feel so sick. Humanity is just absolutely disgusting and being around them just makes me want to lose it. I want to understand how this gathering of people on this site are all such great people but are all so miserable. But outside, I have yet to find a single good person except for my sister and the world is making her miserable too. I just want to make it better for her but I can't!!!! She's miserable and there's nothing I can do to stop it! There's nothing I can do to get better! What's the point in any of this?

[Leed]

By sick, do you think you need to be admitted? What do you think about going to the hospital? Do you think they would admit you to the mental ward? Is that what you want? You could get help that way.

And help IS what you need, but I don't know if inpatient is what you want. It WOULD do you alot of good, Hatter. You would get intense treatment. I've been inpatient, and it was the best thing I could do for myself. I signed myself in. I stayed for 2 weeks.

Maybe it would be a good idea. What do you think?

[Hatter08]

No. If you're talking about going to an asylum, I can't. My first experience was horrible. I'm not going back there. By sick, I mean an actual sickness in my stomach but that could just be from the stress. The problem here is, that people are so awful and bad things do happen to good people. It seems even moreso than bad people and that I don't understand. But then again, maybe I'm just blind to true good and evil. Maybe I'm the evil one. Good people don't have these thoughts. Maybe I'm just a bad person. That would make sense. That explains why I'm so alone.

[Leed]

You're wrong == good people do have these thoughts. Many times good people wonder why other good people have to suffer why bad people don't. But we don't always SEE the bad people -- we don't hang around the bad people. And don't you think that just by being bad that they're suffering? They come from bad familes; they come from bad neighborhhoods, they come from bad schools, they don't have a chance == don't you think that's suffering? They have no hope from the beginning. WE do.

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON! So stop thinking that. You are sensitive. That's all it is. You hate to see others hurting. It hurts you to see others hurting. You have to realize that you cannot save the world and you're making yourself sick by worrying about it. You have to take care of YOU. That is your job. No one else will do it. You have to. And since you're so sensitive you have to be mighty careful and be sure to take GOOD care of yourself because you can get sick very easily. Don't worry about everyone else. Let them worry about it. Just take care of you, ok? We need you around for a good long time. Hugs, Lee