[Stranger516]

Hi,

I am a 23 year old female and I have been recently having serious feelings of jealousy towards my soon to be sister in law who is 28.

She is a very nice person and I have nothing against her, I just occasionally get these strong pangs of jealousy because she is at a point in her life where I really wish I was. She has a good job, seems very happy and will be getting married soon, and will be starting a family soon after.

I am currently in college and will be done soon and will then have my dream career and I am in a very happy relationship, however I want to get married and have kids! At all the family events and gathering all the attention is on them since they are engaged, and there is always talk about the wedding and stuff which I completely understand but the feelings of jealousy still arise.

I feel guilty about getting these feelings and I know it is an important time in both of their lives. While I feel happy for both of them, I cannot control these jealous feelings towards her like she has such a great life.

Please help me! How can I feel less jealous/envious.

[Leed]

Good heavens ! You will be in the same position as your future sister in law soon! After you graduate, you'll be able to get married, and you'll have your dream career, you'll be happy, etc. What on earth is there to be jealous of?

You'll still be able to have kids in your career once things get rolling. Give yourself some time -- you're awfully young, my friend. PLEASE don't have children too young. Have some FUN first with your new husband because after children, the fun times END. You have to stay home and take care of the children, as money is much tighter!! You have plenty of time for children.

You are in a wonderful spot right now!! How I wish I had had the advantages you have had. I was never able to go to college and then start a great career.

So like I said -- you have the SAME things as your sister in law -- she's just further ahead in things because she's older than you. She's probably jealous of YOU because you don't have kids yet! LOl She wants to have FUN. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Stranger516]

Thank you so much for answering my question. You made a lot of great points and I actually feel a lot better now. Thank you so much!