[LadyShadow]

Hello everyone,

I went to see my my grandma today. She is not well. That vibrant sharp lady that came to visit me in the mental hospital when no one wanted to visit me and when I was at my lowest point doesn't even remember who I am.

* Tears *

My grandfather is abusive. He is a chronic alcoholic who steals from her and just cares about drinking. His biggest frustration is "I hate that she hides her purse from me". I'm thankful she can at least do that.

She is gone. She doesn't remember me. She fell back into herself because of all the abuse he puts her through. He curses, yells, screams when he is drunk, she hides in terror, now she is just emotionless. She just stares into space. I have no room for her. I work all day, who will care for her? My whole family sees the abuse and does nothing.

I am in a whirlwind of emotions.

Please help. Or if you can't say anything. just leave a hug.

Thanks for listening.

PlatinumH

I am so sorry to hear about this. I am not sure what advise I would have for you, but it sounds like she will need more care than you could provide by yourself, especially since you work. It is amazing the number of family members who turn the blind eye to abuse, I'm sorry you feel alone in your support for her. Maybe her doctor could give you some advice on what can be done for her.

I'll be thinking about you

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by YYZadd

PlatinumH

I am so sorry to hear about this. I am not sure what advise I would have for you, but it sounds like she will need more care than you could provide by yourself, especially since you work. It is amazing the number of family members who turn the blind eye to abuse, I'm sorry you feel alone in your support for her. Maybe her doctor could give you some advice on what can be done for her.

I'll be thinking about you

Thanks so much! I appreciate that, you have no idea. My mom is taking her to the doctor's tomorrow. I am hoping they can give her a psychiatric evaluation too, because it seems that she closed herself off. Like you should have seen her. Just emotionless. A blank far off stare. And when you talk to her its just "Mhmm" "ok" nothing else she says. She didn't know who I am is what hurts most.

Thanks for your support though. I know no one can really advise me on this, I just wanted to put it out there to vent, and maybe get some hugs and prayers.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Thanks so much

[Raindropvampire]

www.ncea.aoa.gov Maybe you can find some useful information or help here. Could your grandma afford an assisted living facility or could your family all chip in to get her away from grandpa?

I'm so very sorry for what you are going through. I wish I had an actual solution for you but this is the best I have. You and your grandma will be in my thoughts.

[LadyShadow]

Thanks so much Rain!

I looked at the website and its very informative, so thanks so much for that

I admitted her in a hospital today. She will be getting the help she needs and maybe she can come out of it. We are having a family meeting next week when my family members get here from Florida. So maybe we can figure out to do with her living situation?

I don't know. When I visited her today again, she was so out of it, I just said eff it and brought her to the emergency room. They took her and admitted her so I know I'm not imagining this.

Thanks for all the support guys, and thanks for leaving the hugs, it is much appreciated

I am so happy to hear things are moving in a positive direction

[jennifersullivan]

I hope your grandma is ok is she in a hospital with a expanded psych ward?? How long you been there to have the doctor shed some light on the situation? Has he confirming the diagnoses?? Prayers over here for your grandma keep us well updated!

[lolitahiddleston]

You must have had such an exhausting dayyyyyy how long did they make you wait? Was the husband there for her? Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by jennifersullivan

I hope your grandma is ok is she in a hospital with a expanded psych ward?? How long you been there to have the doctor shed some light on the situation? Has he confirming the diagnoses?? Prayers over here for your grandma keep us well updated!

It does have an expanded psych ward but she doesn't know where she is, so my mom is there with her tonight. There hasn't been a doctor yet with her, she is so lost. No one has confirmed anything yet. When I know more I will post it. Thanks so much for your prayers!

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by lolitahiddleston

You must have had such an exhausting dayyyyyy how long did they make you wait? Was the husband there for her? Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

They made me wait for hourssssss. I don't even know how long. The days are all running together. I don't eat. Food just doensn't look appealing to me. I'm not sleeping. My grandfather hasn't been there. He doesn't care. He put her there.

Thanks for keeping my family in your thoughts and prayers

[roads]

(((((((Platinum Heart)))))))
Keeping her anxiety low and managing her physical comfort goes a long way at this stage, and today's Alzheimer's Units are miracle management centers for this. With few exceptions, people who work in these units want to be there ... They are so patient and know what's needed.
Take care of you. I send many hugs and whatever will sustain you.
Roadie

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Roadie

(((((((Platinum Heart)))))))
Keeping her anxiety low and managing her physical comfort goes a long way at this stage, and today's Alzheimer's Units are miracle management centers for this. With few exceptions, people who work in these units want to be there ... They are so patient and know what's needed.
Take care of you. I send many hugs and whatever will sustain you.
Roadie

Thanks for your support Roadie

I just found out from my mom that's there that my grandma has a brain tumor that is cancerous. It is worse than I thought. So much rush of emotion right now I can't bare. They are going to have to do a brain surgery and she will have a 50/50 chance to live.

* tears*

Platinum
I'm so sorry to hear this.

[Raindropvampire]

I am so so sorry. You'll both be in my prayers.

praying for you guys too.

hugs

[jennifersullivan]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

It does have an expanded psych ward but she doesn't know where she is, so my mom is there with her tonight. There hasn't been a doctor yet with her, she is so lost. No one has confirmed anything yet. When I know more I will post it. Thanks so much for your prayers!

thank you for answering my questions, good luck and be strong...what medications are they giving her to prep for her surgery??!!! keep her strong babess

[picklewheeze]

Im so sorry to hear.

From everything youve said you sound like an amazing granddaughter. Youve done some really admirable things for your grandmother and I am sure she appreciates you till the ends of the earth, even if she can no longer show it in the ways you and I can.

Make sure you look after yoursekf, it may feel stupid and that you dont have time. But you must to stay atrong. Youre doing an amazing but realky hard job at the moment.

Ive never walked in your shoes, but mine have followed a similar path at times so I can empathise with your pain. My Nan part brought me up (and the good half as well). She got dementia and slowly crept away from me. Then she got cancer. When they operated it advanced her dementia and I was left with a few scraps of the woman I knew. I still loved her and nursed her for months until she eventually paased away. It destroyed me but I wouldnt have had it any other way.

Keep fighting, youre doing an amazing thing. Hugs!!

[Open Eyes]

(((PlatinumHeart))),
I will pray for your grandmother. She is so lucky to have you to get help for her.
Let us know how things go.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[LadyShadow]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers! Just an update. My grandfather was arrested and put in jail for driving drunk and they took his car away. He was incredibly confused when we picked him up from the courthouse where he was being booked. It has been a crazy 24 hours. During all of this I had to get up every morning and go to work, and I have been deathly sick with this flu epidemic that has been traveling all over. It is a painful cough with chills so I haven't been back at the hospital.

The surgery is happening soon, but I don't know when. It is happening soon though.

Thanks again everyone for thinking of me

PlatinumH

[kindachaotic]

(((((PlatiumHeart)))))
Will say prayers for you & your grandma.
Am so sorry for all you & family are going thru.
Do try & take care of yourself.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by kindachaotic

(((((PlatiumHeart)))))
Will say prayers for you & your grandma.
Am so sorry for all you & family are going thru.
Do try & take care of yourself.

Thanks so much for your support! I am feeling better today. Been spending the past few nights in the hospital with her, because someone has to be there because she doesn't know where she is. I am a bit Pissed off that my family is not trying harder to be there for her and that the responsibility basically fell on me on my mother who is not well herself. It just sucks.

Got some sleep today, so I am taking care of myself. The flu is almost gone, but this cough is sticking around, and as I am there with her I have to keep excusing myself to cough outside the room, and it gets tiring during the night.

But my spirits are high, and I am battling this bipolar because it is getting the best of me this past week.

Hanging in there though........will keep everyone posted.....

Thanks again for all your prayers and support

Stay tuned.............

[peaches100]

Hi Platinum Heart,

My heart goes out to you for everything you are going through! It's so difficult to see somebody you love suffer. Also, my husband is bipolar, so I know that makes everything even harder to deal with.

I think it is awesome that you love your grandma so much and are trying so hard to be there for her.

But PLEASE don't neglect your own health! Make sure you are taking care of yourself. . .including getting nutrition, liquids, and rest. You need to take care of yourself so that you are well enough to keep supporting your grandma.

When is your grandma having the surgery? My husband's aunt had a pituitary tumor in her brain. They didn't want to do the invasive surgery of breaking open her skull because she was in her 70s. Instead, they did a procedure where they go up through the nose. I wonder if they could do your grandma's surgery that way? It is much less traumatic.

Please keep us posted!

My hugs to you. . .