Feelings?

I feel like everyday is exactly the same. I get cut off, tail-gated, flipped off, and blocked out on my way to work everyday. When I get to work it's the same monotonous routine every day. This specific 'rut' started about six years ago when I found out my girlfriend of 4 years was sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, who happened to work with me. I got really depressed and began drinking and drug use. This caused me to either lose my friends or burn bridges in black-out drunken stupors.

I spent some time in and out of jail, with the longest stretch being two weeks. That was six years ago, today I don't have a single person to hang out with. I have no one to talk to; my roommate and I work opposite schedules. Other than my roommate and my coworkers, I don't have any measurable amount of human interaction, unless you count answering "credit or debit, paper or plastic".

I generally keep to myself, I very much dislike spending time in crowds. I opt out of work Christmas parties and social gatherings. There have been a few things which trigger, what I'm assuming to be depression, (as stupid as this sounds) no one but my parents and brother remember my birthday. I've spent the last two birthdays at home, alone.

Another time I went to see a movie and ran into some people I used to be friends with. I waved and said Hi as they passed, they looked me dead in the eyes without saying a word.

Sometimes I experience periods of contempt and spite. On Monday the general incompetence and apathy of the part-timers. Today, I was belittled and embarrassed by my boss and her sycophants for attempting to contribute to conversation in the lunch room.

As I sit here and type out the last six years of my life I realize I might just need someone to talk to. Feel free to give your input, professional or not.

I know how you feel. It's miserable to be alone all the time. Do you have any hobbies, perhaps old ones that you've let go by the way-side? Do you have any interests that you've thought that maybe you'd like to get into? If so, you can meet new friends by going to the library and going to that particular area of the book section and look for books on that subject. Or just going to the Library is a good place to meet friends. I'm not sure what they're called, but computer rooms, where people go to use public computers is a great place to meet people too. Lots of people sit and chat there. Coffee houses are good too.

I wish you the very best. I hope you soon meet some new friends. Work CAN be a big RUT!! God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

i can kind of relate to every day being the same.

because it's always the same sinario for me each day.... going through the same old rooteen- not because i want to, but because i have no choice.

I used to draw, even went to art school for it. I find no joy in the things I once loved to do. I can read a sentence or two from a book before I get bored. When I draw I just sit there staring at the blank paper for a few minutes then quit.

I wasn't trying to complain about not having friends, I must have become jaded enough to not want any anymore. I'm just generally fed up with people in general; how greedy, materialistic, narrow-minded, and hate-oriented we are.

You ever notice how 51 weeks out of the year everyone acts like an asshole, but then that one week out of the year people actually act like decent human beings?

You seem to be in a Toxic work situation and you may want to consider changing jobs. Seek a work enviornment with fewer co-workers with smarter people and a slower pace. You may also may want to move to a smaller city or town, or try public transportation.

This situation is making you more "Jaded". It is time for you to exit the situation.

The intentional excluding and ignoring you is a simple-minded mean spirited tactic that is offten used by people who are not very smart. They may even be jelious of you. Best thing to do is leave those people behind, and get on with your occupation and life.

Quit drinking and the drugs as well. Seek professional help for that if you can.

Hi I can relate to just about everything you said, the traffic, the boss at work. I could go on and on. My friends are here now. I can concentrate on what I read and get a lot of support. Commenting on the other treads, that I relate to also helps me. My boss does that off and on and it really bothers me. He's a idiot sometimes. I don't say any thing now in meetings, it shouldn't be that way I know. I guess over time it doesn't bother me as much, its a funny thing but I realize, that over time I just don't care.