[BrokenNBeautiful]

I was wondering how everyone is feeling about Christmas (or winter holidays) coming?

My mother died right after Thanksgiving in 1976 and my aunt died right after Christmas in 2008.

The Christmas after my mother passed away, my aunt stopped loving me. She did not want a child.

I am sharing this because many of us have triggers during holidays, esp Christmastime.

I love Christmas; don't get me wrong.

Love lights, music, festivity, food. MMMM.

But I also have such sadness too.

Pain.

Anxiety.

etc.

anyone?

This thread is for anyone dealing with holiday issues.

(mods, you may move this if need be)

Carol (billi)

[Maven]

I love the food and goodies, but I get depressed because I know it'll be that much longer before I lose the weight. I'm worried about my health a lot lately, yet I still keep eating sugar and fatty foods. I think I had more willpower when I was younger, or more motivation--which is odd, because you'd think health would be a bigger motivator than how one looks (when I was young, I was less concerned about health and motivated more by how good I'd look when I lost the weight).

[Leed]

I've never like the holiday season. I know it stems from my childhood. It was always depressing because of my parents. They were both alcoholics, and were usually out drinking on Christmas Eve, which is when we ALWAYS had our Christmas, so we kids had to wait until they got back from the bar in order to celebrate Christmas. It was usually 2-3 or maybe 4am in the morning. By that time, I was so depressed, as were my sisters that it certainly wasn't any fun.

It was the same every single year. As a kid, I remember waiting in the window for them to come driving up the street -- but they never came until early morning.

Then when I got married, my husband was more like a drill sergeant -- which I didn't know beforehand, and I had to account for every single penny spent at Christmas - plus I had to buy for HIS family. He wouldn't do any shopping. It's just never been a holiday I felt like celebrating.

The real meaning of Christmas has been lost thru the years.

[nicoleb2]

Holidays are hard for me now. My dad died 16 years ago, grandpa 10 years ago, mom 4 years ago, grandma 3 years ago, and other grandparents fairly recently as well.
My dad had a big, but very dysfunctional family.
My mom had one living brother, who has basically disowned me for things he thinks happened that did not.

Christmas used to be a big thing for us, lots of family and friends. Now, it's nothing. Might even just be me, my husband and our 2 children this year. Sad

i really am not looking forward to it.

christmas anoys me... their's so much going on- giving of gifts, family gatherings, loads of christmas shopping... not to mention the end of the year and the thoughts of- well, that's another whole year of my life wasted... what do i want to live another year for?

then their's the fact that my family are the worst people ever, and have told me to not interfere with them, so their's the lonelyness (which is worse at christmas/ other holidays) because it seems most people have loving family around or they go somewhere nice.

yeah... christmas... blah. don't know why it was invented sometimes

[Iamhealingme]

I have a hard time at Christmas. We are in expectation to be happy, to have a loving family time, to spend money that we don't have on gifts and to find the extra energy to do all this. The give to the poor thing too...why just at Christmas, why not all the time, the hypocracy of that bothers me. The hype for one day starts way too soon too. I put on my fake face and go about my business and am glad when it's all over.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks for all your stories/ideas.

Sending you cheer and empathy this holiday season.

And the thread is still open.

Carol

[shezbut]

I've been suffering the holiday blues since 1991 or so. When my grandmother died. She was the glue that held my grossly unhealthy family together. Up until her death, we spent every single birthday and holiday together ~ the entire family. So, it was that way for the first 21 years of my life. It was what I knew.

The family very quickly fell apart after my grandma died. I still had my grandpa ~ but he was always very emotionally abusive! The b.s. continued within my sick family. When my own small family (now ex) hub, and 2 young daughters moved across the country, we thought that we could just jump into hub's family traditions. It wasn't that easy.

Now that we're divorced, and split custody of our girls 50/50, life just sucks. It's all very depressing to me! I'd rather treat every day as though they're all the same. I'm not religious anyway & memories of past holidays only depress me further.

[OutofTune]

Holidays are always sad for me. It reminds me of when I was little and my mother/siblings wouldn't bother to call or write to me. Same with birthdays. I do have some family and for that I'm thankful. It still feels like a piece of me is missing.

[Jamzham]

Hi Carol,

The holiday season is one that causes many different feelings, thoughts, and memories for many, many people. Just thinking of those loved ones that are no longer with us as we normally look forward to happy times and enjoying special times together becomes a challenge. So instead of happiness, we often have feelings of hurt, sadness, and lonliness. The best thing for me is to remember all the good times spent with those loved ones and connecting with those members closest to me. Family is the most important thing to me and spending quality time with them and sharing food, stories, and laughter makes the holidays more brighter. I hope you can find some solace in this holiday season and wishing you happiness during the holidays and into the New Year!

Chow

[Stranger516]

The holidays can be a very lonely and difficult time for someone who has lost a loved one. I have lost a few people near and dear to my heart and I would do anything to just get five more minutes with them. Sure the holidays are not what they used to be, but I know that my lost loved ones would not want me to mope around. I was always told to try and make the best of things. I still have some family left and my boyfriend and his family who are like my own. While I will always miss my family who have passed on, I will always remember them while trying to make the best out of the holiday season.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Stranger516

The holidays can be a very lonely and difficult time for someone who has lost a loved one. I have lost a few people near and dear to my heart and I would do anything to just get five more minutes with them. Sure the holidays are not what they used to be, but I know that my lost loved ones would not want me to mope around. I was always told to try and make the best of things. I still have some family left and my boyfriend and his family who are like my own. While I will always miss my family who have passed on, I will always remember them while trying to make the best out of the holiday season.

If you need to "mope", sometimes, I understand. I am sure you are making the best of th ings.

It *is* hard to deal with bereavement during holidays.

My aunt did not want me to miss her. But I did. I also am in the process of making my holidays my way.

Carol

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by OutofTune

Holidays are always sad for me. It reminds me of when I was little and my mother/siblings wouldn't bother to call or write to me. Same with birthdays. I do have some family and for that I'm thankful. It still feels like a piece of me is missing.

That hurts. I send myself a xmas card now. Otherwise I would not get any at all.

Carol