i really don't know how to word this, but... can anyone give me some advice on this:

i'm trying to enjoy christmas (yes, i know) i hate christmas time... and i hate the holidays, but i never wanted to be a screwdge- i'm trying to be happy and content

i know i've got my presents to look forward too.. and the christmas dinner etc... but i can'tt stop thinking about next year.

this year (2012) has probably been the worst year of my life... well, as the years have gone by- they've got worse.. but this year, i've seeen the remaining turrets of my castle finally crumble away to stone.

so i think what i'm asking is, how can i enjoy this month and all it has to offer, without constantly worrying about next year?.

i really don't want another year to go by with me getting worse- and i've so many thoughts about next year it's preventing me from any interest in presents or anything

[Miss Laura]

You should plan for the future. Give yourself a goal for next year something fun. I am sure you have many things you would like to do (look for a job, look for a flat, access services in your area, get help for your agrobophobia) etc etc!

[Ladyzero]

Baby Doll, take one day at a time. Don't look too far ahead, and yes a goal or two are helpful.
2012 has been a s h i t t y year for me too hun. Lets hope and pray 2013 is happier and more fruitful. My goals are to get out of bed and stay out of it, get help, lose weight, get my hair done, nails done. Get a new job, get a life basicly.
You need a vision to succeed, achieve, small baby steps not leaping forward. Maybe a plan to ease your day to day living, especially if your brother leaves home.
Would you perhaps pursue an online study of some sort ?
What help can you get to help you physically ?

Well slap me down for being positive, but doesn't 'The Lord help those who help themselves'

I need to take my own advice but to a friend I'd say, take it slow, a new year, new plans. Maybe nothing huge, but small realistic goals.

You are young Hun and there's a whole world out there !
We just need help to reach it sometimes, but we shouldn't lose hope.

New year, new hope.

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

You should plan for the future. Give yourself a goal for next year something fun. I am sure you have many things you would like to do (look for a job, look for a flat, access services in your area, get help for your agrobophobia) etc etc!

actually their is nothing i want to do.... just finally die and end this mental torture

even if something cool did happen next year it would never repleace everything i've lost and i could never rebuild my life.... or what i had of it, anyway

[ECHOES]

Sounds like this is a year you will be celebrate being over.

You can't be 2 places at once, and you can't be in the future. For some reason, though, you are not allowing yourself to enjoy the present.

I am guessing; I think it might be a mix of feeling like you don't deserve to enjoy Christmas, that you are punishing yourself - since this is your thought; and I think it is a wish for the future to be better - which is quickly diminished.

Maybe you could rearrange these thoughts into "Hooray for a horrible year being over! Hooray for Christmas things to enjoy as my reward for getting through 2012!" and a calm and caring "My wish for 2013 is that I hope very much that it will bring me peace and happiness and growth. I want to feel better."

You are right, we can't get back the past, but we can go forward and make the future better than the past.

[candidog]

I totally understand total insanity, I went through that 3 years ago and now I am happier for it. Taking one day at a time is the only way to keep your sanity. I never think about tomorrow or what happened yesterday. Yesterday is gone so you can't change it and tomorrow isn't even hear yet, so you have no control. Today is the only thing you have to work with and it is up to you to either enjoy it, or be miserable in it. You have that choice no one else. Fun or fear? HINT: Choose fun it is much easier. Then you live that day and only that day. Don't put anything off or try and make things right from the day before just live today. Let all the other days take care of themselves. There is no yesterday and no tomorrow, there is only today. Take care

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Sounds like this is a year you will be celebrate being over.

You can't be 2 places at once, and you can't be in the future. For some reason, though, you are not allowing yourself to enjoy the present.

I am guessing; I think it might be a mix of feeling like you don't deserve to enjoy Christmas, that you are punishing yourself - since this is your thought; and I think it is a wish for the future to be better - which is quickly diminished.

Maybe you could rearrange these thoughts into "Hooray for a horrible year being over! Hooray for Christmas things to enjoy as my reward for getting through 2012!" and a calm and caring "My wish for 2013 is that I hope very much that it will bring me peace and happiness and growth. I want to feel better."

You are right, we can't get back the past, but we can go forward and make the future better than the past.

hmm i like the way you think.

will try that..

[jt25324]

The past is the past...Thats already out the door...cant change the past but you can change your future...Im not really sure what your worried about but...Gotta change the way you think boss..Life is short..if you ever lost someone you would know....Start this next year off with a bang...hit the nude bar have a few brews or whatever you do for fun and get some momentum into next year...Good luck..

[Miss Laura]

Hey Shattered,

There must be something in your life worth fighting for. I remember all the chats we have had. What about trying to have a better relationship with your Mum?

In order for the future to be bright we have to want/yearn for something and work towards it!

Example mine's is "to look for a job" that in itself is gonna be hard and a challenge but I am willing to fight for it.

Christmas is hard for a lot of people, and I think you must also find it a hard time. Yes you have a family, a home, food and drink etc but you can make this Christmas one of the best ones you have ever had.

[Thunder Bow]

Now that you are no longer confined by those walls of your "Castle". It now time for you to be free and live life as an adventure.