I just want to scream!!

I hate moments like this. I woke up today feeling sad, feeling really disconnected from, and worrying about, the inevitable loss of someone dear to me, and as the day has gone on I feel almost grief in my heart. Tears are rolling down my face and I have no one I can turn to.

I don't have many people in my life with whom I can be honest about how I am feeling, and besides all my friends and family are happy and because I am getting married soon, expect me to be happy. (Besides I would be ashamed to tell them about why I am feeling this way.)

My sadness has nothing to do with my relationship, and I am truly happy about my wedding and am really looking forward to it, but strange as it might seem there is room in my heart for exquisite happiness and mind-numbing sadness.

I don't want to talk to my other half about how I am feeling as there is nothing he can do and I don't want to upset him, besides he has been having to deal with this for the last couple of months or so, and it isn't fair to keep burdening him with it all.

Feel utterly alone as a result

Anyone else ever feel as if other people's expectations prevent them from being honest about how bad they are feeling?

Yes, definitely. I have a very unsympathetic husband at times. When I need support, he is the last person I will ask in most cases because usually he just winds up hurting me further.

The only times that I ask for support from my husband are times that I know he will be on my side. It's a sad way to live.

Bless your heart -- Are you feeling any better today? I know how you do feel. There aren't any people I can talk to either.

Both my grown kids live with me, but talking to them is like talking to the feral cats outside. I think those cats have more sympathy than these kids of mine. LOL I don't want PITY -- just once in awhile, I'd like someone to understand, you know what I mean?

Anyway -- I hope and pray you are feeling better today my friend. Please let us know how you're doing, will you? My prayers are with you. God bless you "Rural" and please take care of YOU. Gentle hugs, Lee

if your fiance loves you, you shouldnt think of yourself as a burden to him. i dont know what it is exactly thats dragging you down and making you depressed since you didnt say, but you should always be able to trust your loved ones to understand right? sometimes all you need to do is talk. but anyway, i wish you the best of luck

>Anyone else ever feel as if other people's expectations prevent them from being honest about how bad they are feeling?

Totally, in the world it's the norm. But I can also relate to the situation w your H to be. My H is sympathetic, but I can see my sadness and crying is a burden too, over time. He tells me I've been teary for months longer than I was aware.

Problem is few people seem to be skilled with feelings and even fewer want to share any skills. I have no one but my husband, which means no one else's input or knowledge.

It makes life tough.

You should give this marriage more then a chance, if you focused your sadness into the relationship, I bet good things will come. Meaning putting up love to keep your mind side tract, will only lead in love in return. You can't tell me love and time isn't going to heal. But, sometimes you just do need to scream. It actually helps. It's much better then coping strategies I've tried, and some I still can't kick.